From the Ashes
by phoenixreal
Summary: Aizen is after something different from Inoue, leaving Ichigo shattered beyond repair. Can his unexpected savior and a red haired friend pick up the pieces? Or is he too far gone? Yaoi, Smut, lemon, violence, noncon, torture. Don't like these, don't read. RenxIchixgrim. Also, Aizenxichi, Ulquixichi, Hichixren. [Listed complete, but only temporarily, story continues soon]
1. Chapter 1: When it all Falls Apart

_A/N: This is my first Bleach fanfic, and my first venture into Yaoi. I adore Bleach so much, and watch the anime and read the manga. This is not my first fanfiction, nor my first erotica writing foray however._

_This story takes place during episode 150 of the anime (right before chapter 249 of the manga) after the group has broken into Los Noches. They have split up going their separate ways, and then things slip and go horribly wrong. It is revealed that Orhime is the bait, the real catch is the orange haired shinigami. In the end, even the strong can be shattered into a million broken shards. Can they be put back together by an unexpected ally?_

_Of course, I do not own anything related to Bleach, that honor goes to the amazing Tite Kubo._

_Warnings: It's only fair to give you this warning. I'm evil to my heroes. So prepare for graphic descriptions of violence, torture, foul language, yaoi (boyxboy if you don't know already), lemon, non con, and psychological breakdown. That said, if you don't like, don't read. Romantic pairing is Grimxichixrenji (eventually), other pairs included non con AizenxIchi, noncon Ulquiichi, hints of Ulquihime (emotional attachment only), and possible memories of RenRukia. I am planning multiple chapters. And the lemons take a few chapters to get to. There may be more pairngs, but currently I am still deciding how for to take the story, depending on response.  
_

_Reviews are greatly appreciated, rude comments will be deleted. I'm looking for any errors in my characterizations, especially when it comes to the espada, though I am thinking that I may end up a little ooc when things get, ah, heated between Grim and Ichi. However, I am trying to keep Ichigo as true to character through the entire thing as possible. Again, if you don't like, don't read._

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**Chapter One**

**When it all falls apart**

The darkness was omnipresent and oppressive. Getting out of it seemed impossible, no matter how the orange headed shinigami substitute tried. What had happened…he was so deep in this blackness he didn't know. It had gone wrong, so wrong, and he wasn't sure he remembered how… He felt pain, gripping, burning pain in both his arms, shoulders and his chest, and he realized it was because something bound them behind his back from elbow to wrist. And he felt tired, so tired, like the very energy was being sapped from his body…no not energy, his reiatsu. He tried to move, his knees grinding into a hard floor, and he could feel something heavy on his ankles, and something weighing his neck down so much he couldn't sit up right. He couldn't make a noise for some reason, he had no voice. He opened his eyes slowly, and everything came flooding back when his eyes fell on the white walls. Los Noches. He was in Los Noches. The room was enormous but he couldn't see anyone, or feel anyone, for that matter. He could tell he was attached to a white column but that was it.

Everything had seemed to go well. They had blasted through the wall, and at the room of corridors they separated to hopefully find Inoue. Ichigo had been flash stepping down the vast corridor when he felt something different. Ah, an espada, he thought. Finally. He was itching for a one on one. Vaguely behind him he heard Nel's voice. He turned around to see the greenish ball running toward him faster than a sonido should allow. The she just disappeared. He blinked. He turned around and the world went dark.

The remaining four all came skidding to a stop in the middle of a large white room, one from each side. Chad and Uryu exchanged glances as did Renji and Rukia. There was no fifth door.

"Where's Kurosaki?" asked Uryu, pushing his glasses up on his nose again.

Chad, as usual, was silent. Rukia's face had paled. Together, unspeaking as a group they ran for one of the doors, and ran for a few moments, finding themselves emerging in the same room. Each door looped back and connected with one of the other doors.

"Isn't it nice?" a voice came from the shadows. A pink haired arrancar stepped out.

"Who are you?" Renji demanded. "Octavo espada. And I'm here to escort you to Aizen-sama for negotiations."

They all traded glances. "What?" Rukia said.

"Aizen-sama will send you to soul society with his offer, and then you may do as you want," he said, and motioned for them to follow.

Not knowing how to handle this, they chose to follow to find out what the sly traitor shinigami had to say.

Before long they came to a wide room with a throne sitting high up on a column style dais. On that throne sat the man everyone in soul society was fighting to defeat. He was smiling, his head resting gently on his left fist.

"I see you have come, I was expecting you sooner," he said with a smile cold as ice.

"Why you…" Renji started to step forward. Rukia slammed a hand into his chest.

"Rukia-kun, you are definitely your brother's sister. Very smart. Do anything here and none of you will leave, including the precious woman you came to save," Aizen said, his smile never fading.

Around them, Arrancar began to appear, and then Gin and Tousan flash stepped on either side of the dais. Gin held his usual fox faced grin, and Tousen was passive as ever. It was obvious they weren't going to win a battle here. It wouldn't be a battle, more like a slaughter.

Rukia's violet eyes burned. Ichigo was still out there somewhere. He hadn't been trapped yet. So there was still hope. Still hope.

"Rukia-kun, you look so serious. Oh, I know!" he said and leaned forward, folding both hands under his chin and resting elbows on his white clad legs. "You are thinking, Ichigo will save us. He hasn't been captured yet."

All four were silent because they were all thinking the same thing.

"Of course, you bastard. He was willing to come here for one person, you don't think he'd break every wall in Los Noches to find five of us. He doesn't take well to people messing with his friends," Renji retorted, holding Zabimaru in front of him as he spoke.

Uryu adjusted his glasses. "Alas, you are correct, he would risk everything for anyone here."

Aizen smiled. "Oh yes, he certainly would? You think he'd do that for all of you? Would he give life? Pride? Honor?" Aizen grinned even wider. "Freedom?"

The others glanced back and forth between each other. What the hell was Aizen meaning? Was he going to give Ichigo a choice to become a prisoner in exchange for their lives?

"Ah, yes, I wonder, what he would do to see his precious friends go free," Aizen said with a smirk. "Gin?"

Gin nodded and moved around the back of the pillar. They heard some movement and rustling of clothes behind it. "Aizen-sama…" Gin said softly.

"Still resistant, good. Use motivation," Aizen said, looking down behind his throne.

There was a flash of light, kido or something behind the dais, followed by a fwump sound. Gin poked his smiling face around the pillar and looked at the rescue group. "I have a surprise from Aizen-sama."

When he came around the pillar and tossed a body towards them, no one made a sound. Rukia slowly put her hands to her mouth and let out a strangled cry.

"Ichigo!"

He honestly didn't know what happened. One second Gin had come around and grabbed him by the collar, and he tried to pull away, then he was opening his eyes staring at the floor. He shook his head, his head roaring, and eyes still bleary and looked up. This day couldn't get any worse. At least that's what he thought.

Renji's brow furrowed and he tried to run forward to Ichigo's body.

"Tch, no no, not yet," Aizen said from his perch. "Gin, help him stand, how embarrassing for him to be on the floor in front of his friends."

Gin leaned down and grasped a hand full of Ichigo's loud orange hair and pulled him up slowly. Ichigo's eyes flashed and he obviously wanted to say something to Gin but something was impairing his ability to speak. Once he was standing Gin let go.

"Oh, remove the kido so he can talk to his friends at least, Gin," Aizen said, waving a hand at him dismissively.

Gin once again smiled broadly and motioned. Ichigo let out a roar and dove for him bodily, emboldened by being able to speak again.

"Bastard, I'm going to kill you!" he yelled, attempting to slam his body into Gin.

Aizen sat quietly, unmoving, as did all the arrancar in the room.

"Manners," Aizen said, and snapped his fingers.

Ichigo had been in a lot of pain in his life. Hell in the last year. Run through by Kenpachi came to mind as one of the worst, stabbed by Byukuya, and slashed with Zabimaru through the shoulder were pretty tops on the list too. But this… Every muscle in his body seemed to contract and every nerve seemed to fire at the same time, and he let out a strangled sound, unable to form a coherent thought. He fell to his knees slowly, his back ridged and arched. Finally it stopped and he fell forward with enough force to hit his forehead on the floor in front of him. There was a thud and he laid there unable to move at all, as blood began to flow out from his forehead.

The look of shock on all their faces was definitely enough to stop their tongues. "Oh, didn't I warn you? A little insurance."

"Aizen, what are you doing? And why can't I sense him being here?" Rukia asked, staring at Ichigo's orange head, his body heaving rapid breaths. She could see blood pooling around his head and wondered why he didn't sit up. She was rapidly wondering with his reiatsu had gone, that massive unpredictable reiatsu…

Aizen shrugged nonchalantly and smiled again, that irritating smile. "Ichi-kun here is known for being unpredictable, to say the least. I thought it best to find a way to ensure negotiations were smooth. And uninterrupted by a fury mad fully hollowifed boy."

Ichigo grunted slowly sat back up, garnering the attention of his friends. Blood poured down his face where he'd hit the floor and his eyes were unfocused and crossed. He looked around blearily but didn't seem to see anything.

"Oh Gin, do something about his face, I don't want it marred," Aizen said slowly.

At the words, a chill moved down Rukia's spine. Why should that matter to him? What was he worried about "marring" Ichigo's face for?

"Now, shall we continue?" he asked as Gin changed a simple healing hado over him, the bleeding staunching, the wound sealing. He then pulled a cloth from a pocket and wiped away the blood. Ichigo was still so dazed he barely noticed it.

"What do you want?" Renji growled from beside Rukia.

Aizen smiled. "I have what I want. I'm giving you a chance to leave."

Rukia frowned. "We're not abandoning Inoue."

Aizen motioned and the pale green eyed espada they had encountered appeared beside him. He spoke to him in a whisper and he disappeared. Aizen smiled. A moment later, he reappeared with Inoue at his side, right beside the group. A second more and he was gone again. Everyone gasped and started to smile. Ichigo had finally come out of whatever had dazed him looked up and smiled at her.

She looked very confused. Her large eyes wide with fear at seeing all the others around her.

"You're saying we can leave?" Rukia said, suspiciously, not sure if he was fooling them.

Again, that damned smile. "Of course, if you agree to take my demands for peace to soul society."

Aizen flash stepped down beside Ichigo and reached down and twined his fingers into his orange hair. Ichigo winced, but refused to let any other indication of pain color his face.

"I will agree to never step foot outside Heuco Mundo again. And neither will my espada. And you can all go home like this never happened," he said, tightening his grip in Ichigo's hair making him gasp audibly this time.

Renji frowned, not liking the treatment Ichigo was getting in the least, but knowing they were vastly outnumbered. Aizen looked down and yanked him to his feet, still clutching the shorter boy's hair. He then ran a finger down his throat and smiled.

"What are you doing?" He asked, pulling away from him. "Let me go, you bastard," Ichigo growled.

"Such language for a young man!" Aizen smiled and yanked the boy in front of him, licking the space between his neck and shoulder.

Ichigo's eyes were on fire and he started to madly struggle despite the lock he had on his hair. Aizen simply moved forward and suddenly bit him on that same spot, violet reaitsu flaring around them both as he did it. Ichigo's eyes rolled up into his head and he crumbled. Aizen held him up by his hair a moment, his body limp, his friend's eyes glued to him.

"I get Kurosaki Ichigo. Simple exchange."

The collective gasp was deafening. Blood was dripping down from the bite in his shoulder as Aizen dropped him unceremoniously to the floor, licking the remains of the blood off his lips.

"The seki seki stone around his neck and the reiatsu draining bracelets mean he won't be leaving on his own anytime soon," he said, nudging Ichigo's body with his foot. He snapped his fingers and the blue haired espada that Rukia and Ichigo fought in the world of the living sonidoed beside him holding Zanghetsu.

Aizen picked it up and tossed it to the group. Chad reached up and grabbed the heavy sword with east. "You may take his zanpakto. He won't be able to use it here. Grimmjow, if you please, show our guests through a garganta so they can take the news to soul society."

"Why?" Rukia yelled. "Why do you want Ichigo?"

Aizen turned and smiled. "That's a very good question, Kuchiki-san. Why would I want Ichi-kun?"

Renji visibly bristled. "Stop calling him that. You don't even know him."

Aizen cocked a brown eyebrow. "Tell them I want to study him. Or maybe I want to make him an arrancar since he has a hollow. Or maybe I want a pathetic excuse for a shinigami walking around Los Noches as a punching bag for my espada. Or maybe I just needed a new toy to play with, or a pet to lick my boots."

He turned and flash stepped away.

The blue haired espada shrugged, flicking a hand casually in the air and opening the garganta. "You heard the man."

All five standing there were wanting to run and grab Ichigo before they left, lying unconscious. The arrancar were slowly leaving and only Grimmjow stood there waiting. They all entered the garganta slowly but they had to do something. Rukia was reaching for her sword. It was Renji who reacted first, calling out Zabimaru and wincing as he slammed the blade's first sharp link into Ichigo's body at the shoulder, and yanking him back through the garganta with them. The injury could be healed easily by Inoue, but Renji still hated impaling his friend with his sword.

"They fell for it, Aizen-sama," Gin said with his customary grin. Aizen smiled.


	2. Chapter 2: Revelations

_A/N This story eventually has Yaoi, but I'll head specific warnings per chapter. I'm thinking this one is going to get long though, it is about being shattered and having the pieces put back together._

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**Chapter Two**

**Revelations**

The garganta, of course, led the world of the living. Before they headed to soul society, they needed to stop the bleeding from the unfortunate but necessary wound given to him by Zabimaru. Before they had a second to think about where to go there was a sudden appearance by a green clad shop keeper. His general coquettish nature barely restrained behind his trademark fan in front of his face. The trepidation, fear, and uncertainty that he kept in check behind that mysterious figure was something that only a certain purple haired vixen would recognize. And then only with difficulty.

"Oh my, I see you have succeeded…" he began but dropped of glancing at Ichigo lying unconscious in Chad's massive arms. "But not without wounding. Come, to the shop immediately!"

Urahara feigned a smile. They hadn't been gone long enough. Not nearly. And they come back with Orihime already, and the only one with a wound is Ichigo? And by the look, from Renji's sword, if he didn't miss his guess? And why did he not feel his reiatsu? Obviously, this had been too easy. He knew that much to be sure. He'd had several long conversations with Shinji about the old days and Shinji's previous fuku-taichou. He had been delighted to see Hiyori again, though his nose still smarted a bit when they were reunited.

They mostly ran into the small shop and headed to an open room, laying Ichigo on the floor. Inoue immediately set about to healing the bleeding wound. The soft glow surrounded her friend and she teared up. Even after everything, they'd still come for her. A burning in her chest told her not to let go, that she had to be strong for her friends, and she mustn't be angry with them.

Renji and Rukia pulled the eccentric shop keeper away into the small tea room. "He said he wanted Ichigo."

Urahara snapped open the fan in front of his face, lost in thought, surprised and unsurprised at the same moment. "What else did he say?"

Rukia swallowed. "He said he and his espada would never leave Heuco mundo if he got him."

Urahara nodded. "He is, of course, lying."

"He had no intention of giving Ichigo back, Renji used Zabimaru to yank him through the garganta," Rukia said, and Urahara noticed the look in Renji's eyes of being disgusted at having hurt his friend with his own sword. Urahara mused that it wasn't so long ago that he had attacked and nearly killed Ichigo with that same sword.

Urahara nodded. "So why did he give him back?"

Renji's face colored. "He didn't give him back, I took him back."

Urahara shook his head. "No, no he let you take him back. He had many espada there, there was no reason that he couldn't have stopped you right there."

That was when the heard the scream from the room behind them. It was unearthly and tortured. It almost had the ring behind it that Ichigo's voice behind the hollow mask carried. Dampened and fuzzy.

"Urahara-sama!" someone yelled, and the striped hat and clog wearing shop owner skidded into the room.

Ichigo's body was writhing in pain, his eyes open, but glazed. The wound from Zabimaru was sealed, but the wound on his neck that Orihime was trying to heal was gushing blood.

"Inoue-kun! Stop! Stop healing it!" Urarhara said breathlessly, very unsure of what exactly that wound was and why Ichigo's body was fighting it being healed.

She called back the sun sun rikki and Ichigo's body relaxed and the blood stopped flowing immediately. His eyes were still open, the bright chocolate orbs glassy and fixed. Breath flowed raggedly in and out of his body.

Urahara kneeled down by the unconscious boy and looked at the mark, right where his neck met the shoulder. "What is this?" He could feel it thrumming with foreign reiatsu. Foreign reiatsu he recognized, and his blood ran slightly cold.

"He bit him," was Inoue's quiet reply. "He bit Kurosaki-kun and he just passed out cold."

Urahara licked his lips, the game of the innocent shopkeeper left far behind now. No, he couldn't have completed the research. He couldn't have figured out… Could he? The line between hollow and shinigami was so easy to blur with the Hogyuku at your beck and call. Could he have managed to bring the powers of the animalistic hollows to his will? He looked up at the others, his hat shading his eyes and effectively hiding the worry lines that were across his brow.

"I need some tests on him, please, stay here, and report the slightest change in his condition. I'll return shortly," he said, standing and moving away.

Rukia and Renji grasped each other's hands, memories of a time not long ago when those very hands had been entwined in each others hair ghosting across their faces. They hadn't held hands since that time. Leave it to Ichigo to bring up memories better left undisturbed. No, that wasn't fair, it wasn't Ichigo, it was Aizen. Always Aizen. The meaningful glance and touch did not escape Uryu's attention, nor the impassive, silent Chad. Inoue was focused entirely on Ichigo. Her hands were shaking slightly. Her emotion was swelling, building and threatening to crash over her like a flood.

Abandoning her friends, yes she had abandoned them, even if she truly knew that she had not been given much choice in the matter, had to be the hardest thing in her life. Then to have them risk everything, life and soul, to bring her back, it was almost too much. A light blush of anger began to cover her pale cheeks. She'd been resigned to her fate. Completely and totally ready to give up on the thought of ever returning to the world of the living or soul society. If her friends were safe, she was happy.

"He can't have him, he can't, not after what…" She trailed off.

Uryu frowned, kneeling beside her, his hand resting on her shoulder. "What is it, did the tell you something?"

She swallowed glancing at the others. "Ulquirro, he was my guard, I suppose. And he would bring me food and comment on how foolish it was that I was still attached to my friends because that's why I left with him, risking everything to save Kurosaki-kun and everyone else. And then when I felt the presence, I couldn't hold back my joy, but I was so afraid."

They all waited while Inoue talked, gently tracing her fingers across Ichgo's pale cheek. Despite the healing, he looked drained of color completely, and those permanently knitted brows were relaxed in a very unnatural way. It was obvious it was not sleep that claimed him at the moment. Inoue cupped his face gently in her hands and stared at the closed eyes.

"Why did you have to come?" she suddenly screamed at him, her face twisting in something between absolute fury and pain. "I did this to protect you, and you put yourself right in there again!"

Rukia's hand tightened on Renji's, neither having ever seen this type of explosion from the girl who was usually upbeat to a sickening degree. Even Uryu lifted his hand from her shoulder and leaned back feeling the disturbance in her normally calm reiatsu strongly from his point. Chad only looked down at the ground.

"Why, Kurosaki-kun? You should have stayed here, forgotten about me, and faced Aizen when you were strong enough! That's what I wanted, to give you enough time to best him! Because it has to be you, and that horrible power inside you, and he knows it! He knows you can beat him, Kurosaki-kun! You are the only one he truly fears. And you came to save me, and now it will be over…" she had stopped yelling and had settled to weeping, her tears falling over his face as she sat over his head, hands still gently cradling his lovely face that she had loved for so long.

She leaned her head back, realizing that Urahara had returned, pulling a cart with him but had stopped at the doorway to wait. He still patiently did, his grey eyes in the depths of the shadow of his hat, his heart clenched at the scene before him. These children, all of them, why did it have to happen this way? They were far too young to be put through this kind of torment, even Renji and Rukia were far too young. This was a war for old ones, not young ones, and definitely not for humans like the three suffering before him. His eyes returned to Ichigo and his heart clenched harder. The boy, and yes he was a boy, had been dragged into this kicking and screaming the whole way, yet still he trudged onward. Fighting now for the people he had previously fought against. Creating bonds of lasting friendship where before there had only been the clash of swords.

Inoue sighed, wiping her tears off Ichigo's sleeping face. "I loved you so much, Kurosaki-kun, so much and never said anything. I was so afraid, so terrified, as I stood over your bed and healed you before I left. I knew that if it continued, there would be a time my healing would not help you anymore. And I wanted to protect you like you've always protected me."

She leaned forward, pressing her lips gently to his forehead, then sat back wiping his orange bangs out of his face. She sighed deeply as more tears fell from her large, gray eyes.

"They said something, didn't they, Orhime?" Rukia asked softly, her bright violet eyes closed against what she feared. They'd all seen what Aizen had done, had heard what he had said. Deep in their hearts they hoped that it was untrue. That there would be nothing to confirm it.

Inoue gulped noisily and continued stroking Ichigo's orange hair. "Yeah," she whispered almost inaudibly. "It was the blue haired arrancar, right after I had arrived there. Ulquirro was gone for some reason and he wandered by. He said he was excited for his next fight with Kurosaki-kun, and told me how glad he was I healed him up after the last one. He said it was unfinished business. I told him that he wasn't coming and he just smiled at me. He said he was coming, of course, what could resist bait like me?"

There was a collective tension in the room at the words. Bait. For Ichigo. "What does he want Ichigo for?" Renji finally spilled out.

Urahara moved up, attaching electrodes and strange wires to the boy's silent body. He muttered apologies to the unconscious form as he slid under his hakama to attach them to his hips and thighs. He smiled internally at the full body blush the boy would have given him at that.

It was then that another spoke up from behind them, and all looked up in utter shock to see Issin, Ichigo's father. But he was dressed as a shinigami, hand on an zanpakuto at one hip, white captain's haori bunched over one shoulder.

"His heritage," he said quietly.

For a long moment, no one said anything. "The vizard were a creation of Aizen trying to break the barrier between hallow and shinigami. The arrancar are the same result. Ichigo is a natural vizard," Issin finally said with a sigh. "There was never a barrier to break, he was born both hollow and human."

The shocked silence was only interrupted by the beeping and occasionall scratching of Urahara's pen. "What do you mean, natural vizard?" asked Rukia with a deep frown.

Urahara looked up. "It means that Ichigo doesn't just draw on the power of the hollows like the other vizard, he actually has a hallow soul inside him along with his human soul. It is, in fact, half of his soul and can never be separated from him."

"What?!" Renji exclaimed. "How is that even possible?"

Issin shook his head. "It's a long story, Abari, a very long one. Has to do with Ichigo's mother and why I left soul society and had my powers sealed. And why Ichigo knows nothing of this."

There was a crack and pop. "It's ready. I'm hoping he'll cooperate, Issin, he's not been very cooperative with Ichigo so far. But this is the only way I can think to get a handle on what's happening to him."

"Who?" asked Inoue softly.

"The hollow of course," Urahara said almost dismissively.


	3. Chapter 3: The Hollow Within

_A/N: Please ignore spelling, I have some errors to fix, but I love this chapter._

_HUGE WARNING: VULGAR. Super foul language AND VERY suggestive themes._

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**Chapter Three**

**The Hollow Within**

"Since the hallow is part of his soul, I'm trying to manifest him as we sometimes do our zanpakto. The problem is that with these bindings, I'm having to do it…in a creative way," Urahara continued, then leaned down to look at Ichigo closely. There were some other small noises from the machinery around them. Urahara's ability to use kido and technology together was astounding, and it was no wonder the man had been able to head the research and development division.

"Can you hear me? I need you to come out where we can see you," Urahara said then backed up.

From Ichigo's body and another Ichigo sat up, stretching out arms. Unlike the colorful Ichigo this one had pure white skin and eyes of black with gold pupils. He shifted himself out of Ichigo's body, much the same way they released a spirit from a gigai. Everything about him was an inverted form of Ichigo, complete with a black sashed zangetsu.

He looked down at Ichigo and around the room. "Well fuck."

Everyone glanced, their eyebrows shooting up.

"What the fuck is going on, fucking weak ass shinigami wannabe king? Gone and got yerself fucked up again, eh? Can't even fuckin' leave you alone for any amount of time. Now what the fuck am I supposed to do, I can't be a horse without a king…" He then turned around to the others who were staring agape. He stuck out a vibrant blue tongue at them. "What the fuck ya looking at, fucking bastards?"

"Ah, yes, I can certainly see you have a certain…ah style, um…" Urahara said.

"Hichigo, fucking call me Hichigo. I got fucking tired of being called 'the hollow' so I told this baka to name my fucking ass already," he said, positively glowering at Ichigo's still body. He then sat down with a thump at the end of the bed, leaning back on his hands and spreading himself out, white hakama and kosodo seemingly glaring in the lights of the room. It was hard to tell where his skin was and where fabric was.

"What the fuck do you want from me? I don't come out, fucker here doesn't fucking trust me," he muttered, still sore from being beaten in their battle for Ichigo to control his vizard power.

"You're positively foul mouthed!" Rukia exclaimed, violet eyes wide and shocked.

Hichigo tilted his head to the side. "Fuck off, bitch. You're the one that got him into this to start with, if yer dumb ass hadn't fucked up with that hollow after his scrawny ass, this coulda been put off a while longer."

At that retort, Rukia gasped and Renji visibly bristled. Hichigo rolled his eyes at them both. "Not like it wouldn't happen eventually. Oi look, its goat face! Hey pop!" shouted Hichigo when he saw Issin. "Great job, you ex shinigami bastard, keeping your son fucking safe and all. Maybe if you ever actually did something except fuck around and act like a buffoon he wouldnta gotten messed the fuck up like this."

"Yare, yare, can we step it down, there Hichigo, we're trying to help you here," Urahara said snapping his fan open, hiding his face, trying to keep Issin from running him through with Engetsu.

Hichigo cocked an eybrow at him. "Coy ass mother fucker," he muttered making a sour face. "I have no idea why yer ugly mug gives that bastard a hard on, I find you fucking annoying as shit."

There was a slight gasp around the room. Urahara was unfazed. "He's trying to goad us, remember that."

"I'll fucking goad you alright, if I had any power right now I'd cero half of you into fucking oblivion so I could get back at ya for letting this happen to ma king," he said, frowning. "Ye're the ones that wanted him ta control me, well less control and I could have saved his ass back there. But no, you are all to fucking afraid of me."

No one else quite had the ability to speak to this…thing. It looked just like a copy of Ichigo. But the things that were coming from his mouth couldn't have been more unlike Ichigo as they knew him.

"Don't you guys get it? I'm his fucking base instincts. I'm what makes him fight like mad bastard and keep going when he should fucking lay down and stay dead. Like when fuckin' Byakuya almost roasted his ass with that fuckin' lightning shit. Hehe that was fun. The look on that stoic motha fucka when I grabbed that pussy ass sword a'his and broke it, woulda killed his ass clean out if fuckin' Ichigo didn't have such a hard time with tha idea a'killin' even someone who wants ta kill 'im." He appeared to to look thoughtful. "Even when he doesn't let me drive, I'm there for him more than ya bunch of asshats have been," Hichigo said with a snarl.

"So, Hichigo, we need to know what to do now?" Urahara continued despite the tirade. "I think I know what has happened, but I needed to talk to you specifically to find out. If what I think he did is true."

Hichigo rolled his eyes. "Ain't a fucking thing to be done, getabishi. We are thoroughly, completely, fucked. I can't do shit. That fucker Aizen, I could rip his fucking head off and eat his fucking soul through a goddamned straw. Fuckin' marking me like some lowly ass beta."

"Wh-what do you mean, there's nothing to be done?" Inoue stammered.

"Oi, big tits," he said, craning his neck behind him. "He's got some nice thoughts of those jugs in his head now and then. This fucker don' know which way to point is dick. Fuckin' hot under the collar for old fucking getabishi half the time, then dreaming of yer fuckin' jugs, then wanting to fondle little tits over there. Can't decide if he wants to live by the anything more'n a handful is too much or not. And oi, by the way red pineapple he got some fuckin' hots for those damn tats of yers. Got some purty nice thoughts of him ripping that hair down and doing some very naughty things ta it. Not to mention his 'thing' for glasses on white cape over there."

So far he had everyone in the room blushing. Issin and Urahara exchanged wide eyed glances. They expected him to be rough, vulgar, but this…this was hinging on horribly inappropriate. Hinging, hell it was perhaps the most inappropriate tirade any of them had ever heard. It seemed Chad was the only one to be excluded from his wildly slinging sexual insults.

"Hichigo, I would appreciate you keeping anything inside Ichigo's head out of the subject matter," Issin said tightly.

Hichigo appeared to pout. "Oh, threatened by yer hotblooded teenage boy, eh goat face? Or wait, did ya forget yer using a boy to fight the most dangerous fucker around? When does he have a fuckin' chance to get his dick wet, fucker still goddamn virgin and blushes like a fuckin' strawberry just thinkin' a touchin' a person. Any other fifteen fuckin' year old boy be out shagging the holy fuck out of the girls, or boys for that matter, this fucking kid don't know, around here, but not fuckin' Ichigo, he's off fighting fuckin' battles that he gets fuckin' shoved into before he even knows the word life. Ain't even got no idea how to protect himself, runnin' off into unknown lands to rescue someone he cares about."

After an uncomfortable silence Urahara nodded. "Base instincts," he muttered, making everyone look at him. "You have to remember Hichigo is the most base and primal urges Ichigo has, only amplified. To realize that he has kept you under control this long…"

"Fuck!" he said standing up and stalking away from Ichigo's form. "I wanted to at least fuck someone, preferably several someones, before we fuckin' died. Got enough fights fer tha bloodlust under my fuckin' belt, though would have liked a few fuckin' more. Really wanted to take fuckin' Aizen on, you know, such a cocky bastard tryin' to cut my ass in half like that."

At that point everyone just stared. He was acting like there really was no hope, that there was nothing that anyone could do, that they were already dead. No one moved a muscle, only watched the not-Ichigo walk around, his movements completely different from his host's. There was no mistaking this for Ichigo in the least. Where Ichigo was straight and walked with purpose, this figure sauntered, swaying his body like he was trying to slither through the air. Where Ichigo moved with determination and forethought, this creature was wildly unpredictable, suddenly changing direction, patter and letting out a manic sounding cackle now and then.

"All fuckin' ya faults," he muttered, coming up to the wall beside the door and slowly laying his head against the wall.

Urahara walked up to him. "Hichigo, you have to tell me what it is before we can assume there is nothing we can do."

Hichigo turned his black and gold eyes on him and there was a fire in there that was very familiar, the fire that burned in Ichigo's brown eyes just as brightly. "You fuckers don't get it, do ya?"

He walked back to his body and leaned over, petting Ichigo's head gently, almost lovingly. "King, you gotta hang on, if ya can, I can't be horse to broken king."

Issin and Urahara both exchanged glances. The sudden gentleness and calm that had descended over the hollow from Ichigo's body was soothing but at the same time alarming. Hichigo closed his eyes, leaning over and put his forehead on Ichigo's. "I wanted to beat the fucker, too, king. Maybe I shoulda held ya back more. Maybe I shoulda kept ya from reachin' the mask when I did."

There was a long pause before Hichigo sat up sighing deeply, the venom seeming gone from him, spent in one huge exhale.

"I'm fuckin' tired. So I'll just tell ya what it is. Aizan-fucker has used his reaitsu to invade Ichigo's form, marking him, dividing me from him completely. I can't even touch tha mother fucker. It's like his inner world is fuckin' split in apart, and mine is fucking drowning in goddamn rain, which I hate. Zangetsu ain't there either, so I'm guessing that poor fucker is in his own world too. So king here ain't got a damn bit of power right now and he's totally alone with fuckin' scares the holy shit out of the kid. And what little fucking power he has is being sucked up by the damn bindings. But that ain't the biggest problem," Hichigo said, brushing Ichigo's orange locks out of his face.

Urahara spoke next. "He wants to see if he can recreate him, doesn't he?"

Hichigo sighed and nodded, eyes drooping. "That and he...wants...him...to...to...break, and without...me and Zan...he will."

He then fizzled out of existence quietly into a bright sparkles that were reabsorbed in Ichigo's body.

There was a deafening silence after the retreat of the extremely foul mouthed and vulgar creature. "He wants to figure out how Ichigo was made," Issin sighed. "We don't even understand that."

In response to the questioning looks Urahara sighed. "Ichigo is the son of a Shinigami father, which makes him special on its own, but he was also passed a hallow from his mother. In addition to his mother being a quincy. He is a rare creature from so many angles. Hollow, shinigami, human…but Hichigo is right, he is young, and he still can't control that power to its fullest. But if Aizen gets his hands on him, and succeeds in solving the mystery or learning how to recreate it…I knew this was possible, but Aizen has been so focused on the Ouken, I didn't think that this had even entered his mind. I should have known not to send him to the lion's den."

There was a sudden sound from Ichigo and they all turned to see his whole body begin to shake. Stifled screams began in the back of his throat as he seemed to be overtaken by something, then his body seemed to still itself. He turned his head, and his eyes were as glassy and unseeing as before, and a voice they all recognized emerged.

"It is no use. He's already claimed," the voice said, so foreign from Ichigo's lips. "I can use him as I see fit. You will not stop me." Bright violet reaitsu had begun to pour out of the wound on his shoulder surrounding his whole body, then with a flash that blinded everyone in the room and a loud snapping sound, he was gone.


	4. Chapter 4: The Lion's Den

_A/N: Chapter contains graphic torture and some foul language. Thanks to all those viewing and following the story so far, it makes it a lot easier to continue knowing that people are interested. I may have some clerical errors, but I am itching to get this story out of my head at this point. I'm also figuring out how to use this site a bit better now. :)_

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**Chapter Four**

**The Lion's Den**

Ichigo awoke with a start. The last he remembered was Aizen biting him. Who bites someone like that? He thought. He tried to push himself up and found that he couldn't move in the slightest. The hell? He groaned and realized his eyes were covered by something soft. There was a dull ache in his shoulder, almost like he'd been healed of a serious wound, but he hadn't gotten one there…

"Aizen-sama, Ichi-kun be awakin' up!" came the voice of the sly fox faced man and Ichigo moaned inwardly. Gin. That meant he was in Los Noches. With Aizen. Great.

He felt someone remove whatever blindfold was on him and he found he was apparently unable to move because his arms were bound again behind his back and he was on his knees before Aizen. He growled up at him, his brown eyes smouldering with the intensity.

"Oh, Ichi-kun! So glad to see that fire still there! Wouldn't want to lose it," he said with an icy grin.

"Teme," he muttered under his breath staring at him. Aizen only smiled.

"Szayel, you wanted him first, right?" Aizen said, turning to the pink haired freak standing beside him nearly drooling.

"Oh yes, Aizen-sama, if you would be so willing, I would love to run my…tests…before anything untoward happens to him. Even fighting could reduce my results," the pink haired arrancar said, reaching out and lifting Ichigo's head up toward him. "Such a lovely research subject."

Ichigo swallowed. So this freak was like Kuroschi-taichou. Great. Just what he needed, another scientist who wanted to pull him apart piece by piece to see how he worked.

"Remember, Szayel, I don't want any permanent damage, I wish to have my own fun with him after Gin has his turn," he said with a glare down at Ichigo. That glare made his heart stick in his throat because it was full of promise, threatening, horrible promise.

-Urahara's Shop—

The immediate result of the disappearance was chaos. Pure, unabridged chaos. It took both Urahara and Issin a moment to settle everyone down from rapid talking and theorizing.

"Stop!" he yelled. "Lets not panic! For all we know the whole thing was one of his damn illusions!"

Except Issin knew that it wasn't. He knew his son was there. And he knew that he was gone. And no matter how hard he tried to push the hateful words of the hollow out of his mind, they came back to haunt him. No matter how the hollow hated him, it was nothing on what he felt for himself.

Urahara had disappeared, returning with his large companion Tessai and set about using kido and his instruments to determine what had happened in the area. Everyone was quiet, and Renji slowly realized he was still clutching Rukia's hand. Even though they were no longer together, the familiar touch was the only thing that was slowing his racing heart. He wondered desperately if all those things the hollow had spouted about Ichigo's inner thoughts were true. He admitted to a morbid curiosity now about that. His hollow sounded very dirty and perverted, though, so Renji wondered exactly how much of that was Ichigo and how much was just the hollow. Of course none of that would matter if they couldn't get Ichigo back.

Inoue still sat stunned beside Uryu.

"Are you okay?" he said quietly. "We didn't ask if they had hurt you?" Uryu didn't really want to finish the thought, to know if they'd tortured or something worse…

"I'm good, they took good care of me, actually. I was fascinated by my caretaker, Ulquirro, however. I thought that I could help him, maybe."

Uryu frowned and stared at the ground between his legs where he sat cross legged beside her. "What do you mean, help him?"

"He seemed broken, but like maybe I could fix him. He would stop by and just watch me in the room I was in. It almost seemed he was fascinated to see what someone alive would do and say. He himself had no emotion that I could find; his face impassive and eyes always dull. But in those green eyes I wondered if I didn't see a sparkle of the tiniest emotion," She sighed. Was she seriously thinking about missing him now? Ichigo was gone, perhaps forever, and she was fixated on a jailer. She knew it was wrong, but those green eyes flashed at her.

"Inoue, he was an arrancar, they can't feel anything…" Uryu said slowly.

She nodded. "I know, but I thought maybe, just maybe, I could help him feel again. Then I wouldn't feel so helpless. I…I gave Grimmjow back his arm when I got there, Aizen wanted to see my power, and he thanked me, and it was real thanks. So I think…I think maybe the more human they look, the more human they act."

"You can't save them, none of us can," Uryu said, sighing.

Suddenly, Inoue captured his hand with her shaking one and leaned into him, putting her head into her shoulder and crying softly. Uryu gasped, but put an arm around her and let her cry on him. What could he really say after what she had been through?

After a few minutes they all heard Urahara sigh. "I've checked so many ways, but he's somehow maintained a crack in a garganta and managed to pull him through some kind of tie to his reiatsu. I'm not sure how, but Ichigo is back in Los Noches."

Issin sighed deeply and looked at his old friend. "What do we do?"

"Contact Soul Society and tell them the wonderful news that we have an idea what's happening," Urahara said, snapping his fan open in front of his face again.

"I'm not sure I want to be here for that conversation, it may be better for me to go home and tell the girls that Ichigo is going to be gone a while longer," Issin said with a sigh. Urahara nodded and watched him leave, slump shouldered.

"Rukia, Renji, I leave Soul Society to you. I will send the Mayuri all the scans and tests I've done myself. Maybe he can help interpret the data," Urahara said with a sigh.

"Inoue-san, Chado-san, and Uryu-san, all three of you should go home for rest until further notice. There is nothing we can do right now for Ichigo. And wearing yourselves thing will not help when your help is needed," he said turning to the three humans.

Grudgingly, the three overtired humans left, Uryu not wanting to leave Inoue alone after the ordeal, however. He offered to stay at her place and sleep on the floor in case she needed anything. She agreed, actually not able to argue due to the exhaustion both mentally and physically. She offered to cook, but Uryu insisted they pick up something on the way from a Tai place he knew. He shuddered to think what new concoctions she would try to feed him.

Urahara watched them leave, his head pounding behind his eyes. He glanced over at Rukia and Renji. "Let's get this over, with shall we?"

The reaction from Soul Society was much less aggravated than they expected. It seemed the true concern was now turning to the possibility that control of Ichigo could indeed pose a threat. He, of course, been someone they had hoped would become important in the coming battle with Aizen. There was not a second mention of taking Aizen up on his "offer" to keep Ichigo and stay out of the world of the living and soul society. They all knew it was untrue. Rukia was very thankful for that. After the Head Captain Yamada's reaction to Inoue being captured, she had been sure the effect would be similar. But he saw it for what it was. He saw it was Aizen's manipulation, and it was obvious it was not something he liked.

He quickly ordered Renji and Rukia to remain with Urahara, and said he would be sending reinforcements to try and help Urahara with his work, once he called the captains to a meeting and set things in motion.

All they could do was wait.

Several hours later, Rukia heard a familiar sound and new reiatsu appearing not far off. Moments later, there was a knock on the Shoten's door. Urahara, every bit the coy shopkeeper opened it with a clacking fan opening.

"My, my, who do we have here?" he asked, surveying the Shinigami that stood before him.

Rukia and Renji came up behind him and greeted the new arrivals. There weren't a lot, but it was apparent that care had been taken in choosing who would come help with this particular rescue mission. Soi fon stood in the back, her arms crossed, but eyes glancing around, no doubt searching for Yourichi. Beside her was the long, lanky form of Ukitake, looking quite well today. Hanataro from the 4th had accompanied Unohana, and finally Ikkaku and Yumichika had come. Two captains, considering their already depleted strength was more than either Renji or Rukia had hoped for.

They were allowed entrance, and escorted down to the basement where they would discuss the situation. Before long they looked up as a familiar dark skinned woman made her way to them. Soi Fon gasped, seeing her mentor and flushing as Yourichi draped an arm around her back. She was filled in on the situation and the meeting began in earnest.

-Los Noches—

Grimmjow was bored. He'd been promised he'd get a fight with the orange headed shinigami when the others were done with him. He was frustrated. He wanted to beat that arrogant look out of his eyes once and for all. He flopped over, hoping Szayel didn't damage him permanently with his tests. He rolled over grumpily, running his hand down the scar on his chest. Not many could do that to him. Not many could scar him like that. And now he had both arms back. He would take that shinigami and squeeze every bit of life from him.

There was a knock at the door. "What?" he growled, getting up from his bed and stalking to the door.

He opened it to find Ulquirro standing there impassively. "We're to retrieve the subject from Szayel and take him to his new quarters."

Grimmjow frowned. "What the fucksake you need me for?"

"Aizen-sama said he wants to ensure his safety from the other arrancar, so both of us should escort him," he said blankly. God this guy pissed Grimmjow off, with those passive eyes and that damn stare. He wanted to just rip his face off.

"I want my fight with the brat," Grimmjow muttered as they walked down the perfectly white walls.

There was silence until Ulquirro spoke again. "I doubt you will see that shinigami with the capability to fight again."

Grimmjow opened his mouth to speak but they had reached the door to the researcher's lab. Ulquirro opened it and they walked in to find Szayel leaning over the prone form of the orange haired boy. There was the smell of blood and vomit on the air around them making Grimmjow's nose twitch and his stomach clench uncomfortably.

"Ah, you're here, I am afraid he's still unconscious…that last test was a bit…rough on him. I forgot how much pain drawing bone marrow from a living body is. Ah well, then you'll have to carry him, one of you," he said, gesturing at the boy.

Ulquirro made no move but to look at Grimmjow. He sighed. If he'd known he was going to be the carry bitch he wouldn't have come. He walked over to where the boy lay, intent on tossing him over his shoulder but his eyes first ran over his body. He was breathing heavily even in sleep, or unconsciousness, whatever it was, and Grimmjow could see the punctures and cuts left by Szayel's "experiments". He'd put Ichigo in different set of clothes, his shihakso and hakama piled on the floor beside the bed. To Grimmjow they stank of blood. He now wore a white vest and a pair of plain white hakama tied by a black obi. It looked much like the clothes the rest of them wore, but it hung awkwardly off the boy's smaller frame. He hadn't realized how small he was compared to most of them. He shook his head and tossed the boy over his right shoulder, receiving a groan from him as he did so. Grimmjow smiled. Well that was worth it at least.

He was taken to a new white room, this one with chains to secure his arms above his head. Grimmjow flopped him down, his head bouncing slightly off the hard floor and then stalked away. He planned to go decimate some unlucky hollows he came across. Ulquirro sniffed and then proceeded to attach the bindings to the links on his wrists, bringing his arms out and open, while letting him sit on his knees. His head flopped forward, and Ulquirro wondered what the fascination with him was. The woman, now Aizen. Was there something special about him? He reached forward and ran a hand through his soft orange hair. Perhaps. But Gin would be next to have a turn getting to know Ichigo better. Gin liked to talk with knives, however. If he survived, he might come see how he held up.

Ulquirro left, heading away to inform Aizen that he had been placed in his new quarters. And of course to tell Gin-san that he wasn't awake yet to enjoy his company.

Ichigo awoke with a slow groan. He ached everywhere and he couldn't remember why. Had he been in another fight with Kenpachi? If so that would explain it. That nut was insane. No, no, he thought as hazy memories of a pink haired…

"Ugh…" he moaned as he opened his eyes and looked around the room he was in. White. Antagonizing, empty, white.

He looked up to find his arms each held by a chain secured on either side of him to the walls. He'd been stripped of his own clothes and wore some of the awful white clothes that everyone wore around here. He blushed at the thought of someone changing his clothes. Dammit! How embarrassing, he thought to himself. The new clothes were stiff though, uncomfortable against his skin, not like his own clothing. But then this wasn't spun from spiritual energy like the other clothing. And he guessed that its absence was a sure indication that his spiritual energy was indeed completely sealed. Not even sealed, absorbed. He sighed deeply.

"Oh, Ichi-kun is awake!" he heard the irritating sound of Gin's voice. Great. Just what he wanted that fox faced freak around after the pink haired idiot.

He looked up to see Gin, his typical smile plastered to his face, eyes hidden, his arms crossed with his hands concealed in the sleeves. He tilted his head ever so slowly to the side.

"I was a'wonderin' if Szayel had done somethin' more permanent than he was s'posed ta," he said without moving.

Ichigo only glowered. He knew what Szayel had wanted. Same thing damn Mayuri would want if he was allowed to get his hands on him in Soul Society. Testing, information. He'd had a needle poked in about every organ, he thought, and samples taken of blood, bone, and who knows what else. He'd been injected with things that had made him black out, see spots, feel cold, hot, made him throw up in the end.

Ichigo sighed, deep burning setting into his shoulders. The incredible fatigue of having his reiatsu sapped away made him feel heavy. "What do you want, Gin?"

"Ah, its mah turn wit ya," he said moving forward.

The words took a moment to process. "Wha…"

Then before he knew it, Gin was behind him, slicing the white vest's shoulders, letting it fall off. Ichigo didn't have time to blush as it was quickly followed by Shinso being used to slice into the skin of his back. He cried out, the cut just barely going through all the layers of skin. Then again. And again. And again. Then he started on his chest, running the wicked sharp zanpakto down, tracing a line from his collar bone to his belly button. He repeated on the other side, and Ichigo could tell these cuts were deep from the vast amount of blood that was pouring down his chest. His exclamations of pain soon became screams as he would take the time to pulse rieatsu against the wounds, pulling the skin up on either side of the cuts like he intended to skin him alive. He slowly made two parallel cuts along his abdomen above his belly button, and then actually did pull the skin from it with a swift motion. If he'd been in pain before, it was unsure, but he was now as Gin repeated the procedure in several spots, seeming to savor the work he was doing.

As his head dropped he faded in and out of consciousness. His throat was raw from screaming and he was staring at a spreading pool of blood. His arms were numb, covered as they were in cuts, he couldn't feel them. The deep stab wound in each of his shoulders had ensured that. Soon he felt Gin touch his burning back, almost gently. "Hold on," he whispered in his ear and was gone.

He was nearly not aware when Szayel came in, tching about the state Gin had left him in. He realized that the white hakama he wore were now stained completely red. He vaguely felt them being removed and the worst of his wounds being treated and bound. He then felt a rush of horrible pain as sensation ran to his fingers and his arms. He was lowered and laid down on something somewhat soft. The chain was clacking as both his hands were secured above his head. The pain flared brightly for a moment and then everything once again was swallowed in blackness.

An eternity later he awoke to find himself in the same position, arms splayed, but this time they hadn't bothered replacing his blood soaked clothes. Despite himself he felt the incredible embarrassment flood him as he looked up to see Gin again, twirling that deadly zanpakto of his. His eyes widened and for the first time in his life, he begged. It didn't matter. In the end, once again Szayel was in, lowering him down to the bed, healing the deeper wounds and letting him fall into sweet unconsciousness. The unconsciousness brought no comfort. He would slip into his sideways inner world and was utterly, completely, alone.

"How many days ya want me to play rough wit him, Aizen-sama?" Gin asked as he looked up from the monitor watching Szayel roughly make sure that their little plaything didn't die.

Aizen thought for a moment. "Oh, give it at least a week. I know you're enjoying yourself, Gin."

Gin, even though it shouldn't have been possible, smiled even wider. "Of course, Aizen-sama. Where did Grimmjow run off ta?" he asked idly.

Aizen snorted. "He's off killing things. He was put off when he found out he probably wouldn't get to fight Ichigo again."

"Ah, but this is so much more fun, if ya ask meh," Gin said, turning and leaving the room as Aizen continued to watch Ichigo's sleeping form. Szayel hadn't even bothered to cover the boy's body up with the sheet this time. A wicked smile crossed Aizen's lips as he leaned closer to the screen, watching the boy that had been the bane of his existence.


	5. Chapter 5: Breaking Point

_A/N: So, here we go, first lemons. Hope they are good enough. _

_Chapter contains Noncon and torture. Don't like, don't read._

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**Chapter Five**

**Breaking Point**

-Los Noches—

It had been at least a week, from what Ichigo could tell. At least seven times Gin had come and flayed his skin. Always the same places so the scars would be heavy. He had no concept of how long he had been with Szayel before Gin took over with this torture. But the scary part is that he looked forward to it. To the torture, of all things. The rest of the time no one touched him, saw him, only when Gin and Szayel came to him, and then it was all pain. But still, at least he was away from the complete silence and loneliness of the place. His only comfort came from the fact that he knew why he was here. And he almost could handle it now. Almost.

Gin had come in and he had begged to know where his friends were. Gin had smiled, going to ignore him then stopped and informed him they had all, including Inoue, been sent back to the world of the living. He was surprised, and had it been Aizen he would have doubted the words, but somehow he felt that Gin wasn't lying to him. But then the torture began anew and he didn't have time to dwell on what he had said.

He woke, as usual, sometime later, laying now with his hands lowered on longer chains so he could move. There was a cup with water and a plate with bread. He devoured the food and drink, not knowing when he'd last eaten. He sat in silence on the dirty and blood stained mattress he sat on and waited.

He would fall asleep and wake up to food and water. Never seeing anyone, never hearing or even feeling anyone else's presence. It was weird. And it was grating on his nerves. He tried to still his banging heart with the idea that he had done what he set out to do, and protected his friends. That should be enough? Inoue was safe, so were the others, that was enough, right? But right now he wanted them to get this over with, just kill him. He wasn't sure how long his mind could take it. And his body was growing weaker and weaker. He could feel the muscles starting to lose shape and even moving his arms to eat was an effort. He hadn't heard a voice in how long? It was so hard to keep track of time in this infernal, endless night. He missed his friends and he just hoped that they were okay. He tried to keep clear how long he'd been here now. He'd slept six times during the "experiments" with the pink haired freak, and he'd slept about seven while Gin worked him over. And since then, he'd woken up to food…at least thirty times. Six weeks, then? If his body's clock was still running right, of course.

The sudden realization struck him. Six weeks? He'd been abandoned, just like they were going to abandon Inoue. He knew that it was likely. What was one person to all of soul society. But it still stung. He'd hoped that Urahara at least might try something, but perhaps it had been foolish to even try to come here and rescue Inoue. Maybe that proved they weren't ready for Aizen.

The quiet though, the unreal quiet in his head, was offsetting. He didn't hear the hollow or Zangetsu at all. It had to have something to do with the aching mark on his neck where Aizen had bitten him. It still oozed blood and leaked purple reiatsu every now and then. It never healed. He was so alone here, and getting desperate to have someone, anyone, talk to him, for just a little bit. He felt like he was going to lose his mind, and was even wondering if Gin couldn't come and cut him some so he could feel something.

The next time he slept he awoke somewhere new. He blinked, and found his weary body on something very soft, and very clean, and it smelled wonderful. His nose was so accustomed to the smell of filth and sweat, that not smelling it almost overpowered him. And softness below him. Even his tortured body could appreciate something other than the old, mattress he had been on. He felt the familiar weight on his ankles and wrists and honestly, thought nothing of it. Weeks going by with those weights on him had made him so used to them that they were like a part of him. Then the strangest thing happened to make his eyes fly open.

Someone touched his stomach.

The sensation was nearly too much, it had been so long since anyone had touched him, let alone in a gentle way. He moaned and smiled to himself before he even realized it, then found himself staring at a dark brown mop of hair staring at his stomach where a slender finger traced across it gently.

"Wha…" he said, his voice cracking from disuse. It was Aizen. Aizen was touching him. And he didn't want it to stop.

"Ichi-kun," the man practically purred. "You've awakened, you certainly sleep a long time…"

Ichigo tossed his head from one side to the other realizing he was in another of those infernal white rooms. "Where…" he croaked.

Aizen held a glass with a straw to his parched lips and to his surprise it was very cold water. He nearly felt like he was drowning in bliss at the simple sensation of drinking water. Aizen smiled, his eyes dilating as he watched the substitute shinigami drink the water with such an amazing look of happiness. Yes, this is what he was looking for. This was how he would shatter the young man before him. After the torture, to leave him utterly and completely alone, wondering if he would rot in the cell until he died, denying him contact of any sort, left him longing for it. Of course, the drug Szayel had administered when he was brought in didn't hurt. It would ensure that he felt enjoyment, which would only deepen his shame.

The water nearly gone, Ichigo stopped to breath, dropping his head back onto the pillow with dawning realization that he was in Aizen's room. Aizen's bedroom. And he was tied ankle and wrist to his bed. And he was completely naked still. Suddenly, a red hot blush found its way across his face and down his neck, coloring him red almost halfway down his arms. He started to struggle against the bindings to try and cover himself, anything, he didn't want to be on display like this, not at all.

Aizen set the glass down, noting the struggles of the bound man below him. He leaned over and pressed on the wound still on his shoulder. Ichigo gasped as a bit of reiatsu forced its way into him from that point. Aizen looked over his body, once tan and muscled, it was now smooth and pale. He reached hands out and ran them down his sides, easily counting each and every rib that protruded from him there. His stomach, once firm and tight, now sank, sunken, and Ichigo realized he didn't even feel hunger anymore. He had at first, he was so hungry when they brought the daily bread and water, but eventually, his growling stomach had decided that complaints were useless.

When Aizen ran his hands over his protruding hip bones, Ichigo gave a strangled gasp. Despite his fear, the drug was taking effect, and he was showing himself to be slipping into a state of high arousal before Aizen's very eyes. Ichigo lifted his head and stared at his betraying body, a look of utter shock and horror on his face.

"Hrm, looks like your body seems to know what you want," Aizen murmured softly, crawling down and taking Ichigo's rapidly swelling member into his mouth.

Ichigo's heart thrummed in his chest. He was so weak and tired he didn't have the energy to fight him, though he tried. Why was his body reacting this way? Why would something like this happen? Did he want this? Was he really in that pathetic of a state? All thought went out the window as Aizen's mouth and tongue tortured his hot flesh. He shook his head. No, no…but it felt so amazing… He'd never been touched like that, let alone had anyone's mouth on it. Maybe if he closed his eyes, he could pretend it was someone else that was down there sending hot waves of pleasure up his body. He didn't even know who he would want to take the place of the soft lips and tongue currently driving him to madness. He blushed again, just thinking of who he would like to have been the first person to do this to him.

Then he was on top of him again, crushing his mouth into him, his tongue dancing along his lips, asking, no demanding, entrance. Ichigo complied, his eyes still fearing what was going to happen. The tongue began to plunder his mouth, seeking every crack, every crevice. He moaned into it, and then cried out as Aizen bit his lip, drawing blood, drawing back. He then moved upward, sitting on his chest, squeezing the breath out of him, rocking his hips toward Ichigo's mouth.

Ichigo's eyes widened and he shook his head until Aizen reached down and pried his jaw open, and wedged his thumb at the back of his teeth and in one move forced his entire length down Ichigo's throat. He coughed, sputtered and wanted to bite down but the pressure on his jaw kept him from doing that. He felt the urge to retch, his gag reflex tripped, and if he hadn't had such an empty stomach, he may have done more than heave at the disgusting feeling. The walls of his throat constricted eliciting a sigh from the man above him.

"This is for your own benefit," Aizen muttered. "So wet it good with that tongue of yours."

Ichigo didn't know what that meant but if he did as he wanted he'd remove his cock before he choked to death on it, feeling his stomach, empty of course, clench and heave again, trying to force the invading force out. After a few moments of him thrusting down Ichigo's burning throat he pulled back and patted his head.

"There's a good pet," he whispered and nuzzeled into his neck.

Ichigo felt his own member oozing and straining as he ground his hips against the man over him. What was he doing? He shouldn't be trying to get himself off, no he should be fighting this, but it felt good. A wave of heat and desire stronger than anything washed over him and he began to pant, begging as he did for Aizen to help him. He couldn't stop his traitorous mouth as it repeated to help him, as he strained against the man who had slid back down on his body like a snake.

"Do you want me to help you, Ichi-kun?" he purred into his ear as he shifted and slid his legs under Ichigo's splayed ones, pulling his knees up, straining his ankles painfully against the bindings.

"P-please…" he whined, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from moaning out louder. It felt like he was going to explode if something didn't give.

Then he felt something blunt and hard press against his rear. At that moment the idea that he needed to feel pleasure and that he wanted to be touched and caressed went out the window. His voice hitched in his throat and he let out a mewling sound as fear clouded his eyes. The fire, the lust, all of it was gone. He started to thrash and pull away from him, finally dawning on him exactly what he intended to do to him. And no matter how much he wanted to be pleased, this…no this…was not going to happen, not if he could help it.

Unfortunately, he couldn't do much to help it.

"Now now, Ichi-kun, if you keep fighting, I'm going to leave you in a lot of pain," he said softly, pressing hard against the shinigami's entrance. "Ah, well it won't matter, I'm going to leave you in excruciating pain after this."

"N-no," he said, fighting against him. If he could save his pride by saying he fought, that would be something, wouldn't it? If he could say he had resisted this monster until the very end?

Aizen frowned. He was going to have to show him who was in control, and with one thrust forward, he forced his way through the tight ring of virgin muscles, all the way in in one go. Ichigo screamed then. Harder than he had ever screamed for Gin. Pain shot through his back and down his legs and he couldn't even imagine something that could hurt any worse. He felt something warm and wet dripping down from there, and he knew it was blood. Something inside was burning and hot, and his eyes rolled up and the world threatened to go black.

"Oh, my, I thought you were a virgin, but this is much better than I could have expected," Aizen said, staring down at the orange head below him. He was still, unmoving, sheathed all the way in him, and he could feel the blood that was beginning to lubricate him as he began to pull back almost all the way then back in.

Ichigo screamed again, his body arching at the incredible amount of pressure and pain. He'd been stabbed. He'd had lightning shot through him (thanks Byakuya). And he'd pushed himself to the limit no matter what pain he was in. But this pain…this was something different. It shot down to his toes and up to the top of his skull. After a moment and Aizen's continued thrusting his head dropped to the side and he stared at the wall, white as everything else. He felt a hand on his own stiff member and turned to look at Aizen, his eyes open and wide.

"You are going to enjoy this, Ichi-kun," Aizen whispered, grasping him hard and in time with his own thrusts.

To his shame and horror, his body reacted, the pleasure building in him, threatening to explode. His screams turned to moans and he couldn't believe his own body was betraying him like this. He threw his head back and howled as Aizen's thrusting hit something that made him see stars and sent him over the edge, spilling his own fluids on his belly to which Aizen gave a satisfied smirk. He grasped both hips in a hellish grasp making Ichigo's head come up with a hiss as he felt something pop. Aizen then slammed into him several more times, releasing his own pleasure into him. The sick, burning feeling crawled up into Ichigo's inside insides, and he felt like something was broken there. He pulled away and left him that way, soiled, bleeding and alone. Darkness at some point came and claimed him. He wasn't sure when.

Darkness wouldn't last long enough, and soon he found himself receiving a daily injection to stop bleeding but did nothing for pain. And he found himself morning and evening the unwilling participant of Aizen's pleasures. He lost track of the time. He couldn't imagine how long it had been. One of the lesser Arrancar would come in give him a meager meal of bread and water, sometimes meat if he was lucky. After that he would head to the bathroom and bathe. He would stay as long as he could, sitting in scalding hot water until it had turned cold, and scrubbing until he almost bled. He couldn't get the smell of Aizen off of him. He toweled off and came out, his towel wrapped around his waist and instead of the lower arrancar Ulquiorro stood.

He froze. "Wh-what are you doing here?" he asked the green eyed espada.

"What is it that attracts his attention to you?" he said impassively. "What did the woman mean about you having her heart?"

Ichigo's heart was booming in his chest. "I d-don't..." he started when he found himself slammed into the wall, the emotionless face inches from his own. He looked at him with a curious look then emulated what he had seen Aizen do on the monitors, crushing his lips against the orange haired boy, tongue forcing its way into his mouth and teeth biting and nipping at his lips. He broke the kiss and stared at Ichigo's wide eyed expression.

He then lifted him by the throat and threw him down on the bed. Ichigo tried to push away, but found his ankles yanked, bringing him to the edge of the bed, bent over it. Ulquiorro's hands dug into his hips, painfully, black nails digging great gouges into his flesh. He didn't have time to even breathe before the impassive man had buried himself into Ichigo. He screamed, his cock much larger than Aizen's had been. He clawed into the sheets and whimpered pitifully as he continued to rock back and forth into him. He kept pressing into his hips, blood flowing from the clawing marks. The pressure on his hips just kept increasing and he felt something wrong, very wrong. He came in him and pulled away staring as Ichigo slipped from the bed with a soft thump, hysterical almost from the pain. He was sure his pelvis was broken from the brutality of the attack.

"Interesting," he said, staring down impassively as he tied his obi and turned to leave.

Grimmjow had been walking down the hallway when Ulquirro came by, a way too satisfied smirk on his face. He watched him with a frown. His nose caught the distinct smell of something he was unfamiliar with on him. He scowled at the impassive man. He shook his head and was walking by the doors to his rooms when he heard a choked gasping inside. He paused wondering what the hell was going on. He started to walk on but heard the weak sobbing on the other side of the door, and he wasn't sure exactly what it was, curiosity or something else, but he found himself reaching down for the door, finding it surprisingly unlocked.

"Hello?" he said as he slowly peeked his head in.

White room, white couch, orange hair. Orange hair? Red.

Grimmjow was a lot of things, a huge bastard and a prick ranked pretty high among them. But his cyan eyes widened in shock at what his eyes fell on.

"What. The. Fuck," he muttered, glancing behind him and moving into the room.

He hadn't seen Ichigo since Szayel had taken him off for tests. That had been over four months ago. What he saw literally stole his breath. He was sitting on the floor by a bed, lying on his back, writing in what seemed to be absolute agony. He was covered in blood, with great gouging scatches down his hips and large purple bruises blooming across his pelvis. He kneeled down, unsure what to do, when he saw how absolutely emaciated the boy had become. His chest, mostly clear of blood from whatever the hell Ulquirro had done, was crossed with scars of all sorts, jagged and smooth. He knew Gin had been at him, but this? This wasn't Gin's work. The sounds stopped, and Ichigo's body had relaxed, his breathing shallow and gasping. He reached out and rolled the boy over and his blue brows furrowed even deeper. The signs of abuse were here as well, jagged scratch marks that went down his back and he realized that the state he was in now was not unusual.

Grimmjow sat back on his heels, running a hand through his hair. What the fuck was this? He knew Aizen was twisted. But this? He looked down as the orange haired kid opened his eyes and stared at Grimmjow, and a look of absolute terror crossed his face as he started pushing away from him, even as he was screaming out in pain.

"No…no…not you…" he muttered and Grimmjow watched as he pulled himself as far away as he could muster, curling himself up and the look in his eyes sent a shiver down his spine. Fear, and only fear, shined in those eyes. There was no trace of the fire that had sent excitement down his spine when he had been locked in battle with him. There was nothing there but sheer terror…and emptiness.

Grimmjow didn't even think, he grabbed the sheet from the bed, soiled with blood as it was, and tossed it around him, ignoring his protests of sheer terror as he picked him up. Finally he quit fighting him as he ran to Szayel's room. He knocked impatiently on the door.

"What?" he said, sticking his pink head out of the door, then his eyes landed on the bundle in Grimmjow's arms.

"What the fuck is going on, Szayel?" Grimmjow growled. "This kid ain't just broken, he's better off dead."


	6. Chapter 6: From the Brink

_A/N: Thanks to my wonderful readers. I'm surprised its getting as much attention as it is, so I hope everyone is enjoying it. The following chapter is not very violent but is significant to the story. Its a little on the short side, but how can I resist going to the new chapter after a lovely cliff hanger in this one? I think I've misspelled a few names in here, so please excuse them for now. I do a full edit myself once the whole story is complete._

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**Chapter Six**

**From the Brink**

-Urahara Shoten—

It had taken less time than he imagined to come up with a plan with those that came. It would have been better to have more people to help, but risking the safety of Soul Society and the World of the living was out of the question. Only four days had passed since the group had come back from Los Noches and Ichigo had disappeared. And the press of time was on them heavily. The longer this took the more chance that Aizen would kill Ichigo, or worse. Urahara's fear was that he would try and make him into an arrancar. He was truly unsure how that would happen since Ichigo was human, not even a true shinigami or hollow, but he was both at the same time as well. The chances of it going disastrously wrong were great, and he didn't think Aizen would risk his plans to do that. But still, the thought of what he was going to do with Ichigo weighed heavily on him.

His shop was officially "closed" but it was busier than ever, everyone down in the basement working on ideas and plans. So when he felt the garganta open close by, he froze.

-Los Noches—

The barely restrained fury in those cyan blue eyes shocked Szayel. He actually thought he would have been right there torturing the orange haired boy he hated so much with Aizen and the others. But he wasn't. He was furious. Szayel glanced each way down the hall and ushered the blue haired espada in.

"There aren't cameras in here, but if Tousen or Gin saw you come in, that's it," he said motioning Grimmjow to drop the kid on his bed. He started to unwrap the sheet then stopped, his eyes widening. "Oh, well."

"What th fuck is going on?" the terse statement escaped the blue haired arrancar's mouth. "Aizen didn't say nothing about this messed up shit."

Szayel swallowed, and administered a dose of a pain medication and a metabolic accelerator to help with the healing factor. He couldn't do much in his room, and if he took the boy to the lab, Aizen would know, and all three would be lucky to get out alive.

"He wanted to break him. Completely. And I think he's accomplished it. The kid is dying, Grimmjow. He's got no reason to live now, and I can't make him. Aizen doesn't need him, he's got nothing to do except torture him now. He's got what he needed," Szayel said with a sigh. "I have the research material, and that's all I needed from him. The rest was simply to satisfy Aizen's desires to watch him crumble."

Grimmjow as silent for a long moment. "I'm taking him back."

Szayel looked up. "What? You can't…Aizen will kill you if you come back after taking him back!"

"Then I don't come back," he said, shrugging. "I'm fine on my own."

"But the shinigami will kill you when you show up in the world of the living…" he continued.

The look that those cyan eyes fixed the pink haired espada with would have killed a lesser being. "I don' fuckin' care, Szayel. This shit is wrong. I'll fight. I'll kill. But this? This kid was probably the closest thing to an equal I've ever fought. He doesn't fucking deserve this, he deserved to die well."

He leaned down and gathered the unconscious boy in his arms. "He needs a reason to fight; I gotta take him to it."

And to Szayel's complete shock, Grimmjow reached up and flicked his hand, opening a garganta and stepping through with the bloody bundle.

-Urahara Shoten—

Urahara felt the pulsing rieatsu and paused. What? An espada, but the feel, but what in the world was he doing, calling every soul reaper in all of Karakura Town? Within moments, both he and Yourichi were outside the shop staring up at a descending espada, the blue haired one that Ichigo had fought a couple times now.

"Yo," he called out, his feet touching the ground. "Don't try and roast me, old man. I need yer help, fast."

Guarded, but noticing the bloodied bundle the espada was carrying, he shot forward, glimpsing a shock of orange hair from the edge. He gasped and ushered the blue haired espada into the shop, setting up the wards against the reiatsu, knowing that several others would have felt the discharge that Grimmjow had let off to announce his arrival.

"In here!" he said letting him place the bundle down on the pallat in the spare room. The arrancar kneeled beside him, watching what they were doing.

"Yourichi, get Inoue-chan and Unohana-san," Urahara said after running his hands over the air above him.

As soon as she was gone, he fixed the espada with a glare. "Did you do this?"

Grimmjow growled. "I'm no fuckin' beast like Aizen. I don't fuckin' rape people for kicks."

Urahara swallowed, feeling for the injuries as Tessai came in and took over. Seconds later, both Inoue and Unohana came up from the basement followed quickly by the rest of those that were gathered for the rescue mission, set to leave tomorrow. Renji and Rukia came skidding into the room in front of Chad and Uryu, and everyone was frozen except Urahara and Tessai staring at the blue haired arrancar.

Grimmjow smirked, "Yo."

Urahara jumped at the drawing of swords, "Stop, he's the one who brought Ichigo back, but he's dying, fast, bleeding internally from what I can tell, his pelvis has been shattered. Inoue I need you to concentrate your power there, as much as you can. Unohana…I need to talk to you."

Grimmjow eyed the group, two captains, not bad. Too bad they hadn't got there in time to stop all this from happening. "Why did it take ya so long if he's ya friend?"

Everyone looked up at Grimmjow's growling comment. "I mean, he hauled ass to rescue the woman, why didn't ya? She wasn't even there that long before ya busted in with him at the lead. I'd've thought that ya'd do the same for him, always going on about protecting his friends and all that shit."

Renji and Rukia exchanged glances. "W-what?"

Grimmjow reached up and cleaned his ear with his pinky casually. "I'd think it wouldn't take four months for ya to get ya shit together for the boy."

There was a sudden silence that caught his attention. "What?" he asked.

"Four m-months?" Renji said with eyes wide. "F-four days!"

Grimmjow cocked his head to the side. "Hrm. Well that really sucks. Guess I can't kill ya fer abandoning him then."

Below him, Ichigo rolled his head and groaned, as Renji and Rukia both dropped beside him. He opened his eyes slowly and when he saw them so close he screamed, pulling away and scrambling through the golden shield, shattering it and pushing himself to the wall, not even noticing he was leaving the sheet behind that had been covering him. Grimmjow was the first to react, snatching the sheet and covering the boy up where he was trying to push himself through the very wall behind him. But not before those present saw how bad the wounds on him were. He doubled over in pain and threw up. If Grimmjow hadn't been fast, he would have had a lap full of bile.

"Fuck!" he exclaimed, a tad too loud because Ichigo looked up at him with absolute terror in those once fiery brown eyes and whimpered.

"Shit, look, sorry," he said, kneeling down. "Stop, Ichigo, you're home, he can't hurt ya again, okay, I'm fuckin' dead if he finds me, but fuck it. Not like I can fuckin' watch this shit."

Ichigo looked at him, moaning in pain again, as he doubled over and passed flat out again. Grimmjow picked him up, muttering "Baka." He laid him down on the bed as Urahara and Unohana returned. He had a surprising gentleness as he laid him out and pulled the sheet over as much of his body as he could.

"What happened?" he asked, looking at the others, no one seemed to want to say anything.

"Four months, Urahara-san," Uryu said quietly. "It's been four months for him. The espada asked why it was that we didn't come for him, and I told him it's only been four days."

Unohana kneeled beside Ichigo and asked everyone but Inoue, Hanataro and Tessai to leave the room. Everyone vacated, leaving those with healing abilities to deal with the broken body of their friend. There was nothing the others could do. In fact, if he hadn't spoke up they would have forgotten that the espada was still there.

"So, any chance in hell I can hide here?" he said, running a hand absently through his hair.

Everyone's eyes fell on him. "Yeah, still here. Dead espada if I go back. Aizen'll fuckin' take more than my arm this time. Last time I lost it for disobeying orders and coming here, and I was just tryin' ta kill the brat for him. I don't think I'll die quick for saving him."

Urahara sighed, looking at those that had come to help from soul society.

"I can keep the espada here for now, Soi Fon, can you and the others return and give a full report to the Head Captain? I'll send Unohano-taichou and Hanataro when they've done what they can, but I think we're in for a long road for Ichigo. I don't think he'll be able to handle facing Aizen anytime soon, and we still don't know what was done to him other than it was terrible. I'm sure Unohana-taichou will have a full report for the Head Captain, for now, inform him that I have the espada in protective custody, from Aizen. A defector on our side might be useful. Meanwhile I think I've got a way to get the foreign reiatsu out of his body and loosen the bonds between his souls," Urahara said with a sigh. "But he has to be healed enough to handle it."

There was some other discussion between Ikkaku and Soi Fon. Grimmjow stood to the side, glowering at all the damn shinigami. He sighed. Any other day he'd like to rip their throats out just because they would do the same to him. But here he stood, watching them talk back and forth, his large arms crossed across his chest. He wondered just what the hell he was thinking. It wasn't like he was really loyal to Aizen, the guy was a prick, especially after having his arm cut off like that. But even at that, he was throwing his life away by messing with Ichigo. Aizen had decided that he had claimed him, and Grimmjow should have realized that when he took the incentive to bite the boy the day his friends were sent home.

Soon, the crowded area was thinned out to just be the ones that had been in Los Noches with the annoying shop keeper. The rest were gone, the captain with the odd braid under her chin and the short black haired shinigami last to leave, saying they would rest and get a detailed debriefing before they returned to soul society. The strange blond with the green and white striped bucket hat sat down slowly at the table, lost in thought.

"Yo, so why is it that only four days has gone here, and four months over there? Never seen somethin' like that," Grimmjow asked, sitting across the table from the odd man.

Urahara smiled dejectedly. "I have underestimated Aizen's ability to control the time flow. I honestly didn't think he'd have that much control over the hogyuko. And I should have foreseen this."

Grimmjow snorted, looking up. "Aizen's a fuckin' bastard. Doing something like this to that kid, what the fuck is he thinking?"

Urahara tipped his head to the side. "Grimmjow-kun, you seem bothered by this situation? I thought as a hollow you would appreciate this sort of show of dominance over the vanquished."

"Like hell. Even as an adjuncta I never did shit like that. I'm a cat hollow, though, maybe that has something to do with it," he said with a sigh.

Urahara nodded. "Yes, Ichigo said your sword was Pantera?"

Grimmjow nodded, running a hand over the sword thoughtfully.

Urahara sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Can you tell me anything else that happened?"

"Szayel, our science freak spent a week or so running tests on him," Grimmjow said. "I was pissed because I wanted my fight, but found out he wasn't gonna be fighting again. After that I spent as little time around Los Noches as I could. I didn't like it. This whole idea of fuckin' breaking someone's spirit. Aizen was on a power trip, and he showed us Arrancar who was in control when he needed to," he said, mildly rubbing his left arm at the memory of losing it.

"I think Gin had some time with him, I saw some scars from his blade, but that's expected, I suppose. For a long time I didn't see him at all, and I asked if he was dead yet, they said he was locked up alone. Then Aizen pushed it too far, breaking the kid down like that, humiliating him and taking everything from him. I'd heard rumors of what was goin' on, so I was checking on the brat since one of the lower arrancars said he'd been brought up to the top floors. I think it was Ulquirro that shattered his bones though, I saw him leaving the hallway the kid was in before I heard him and went to see what tha issue was. Come to think of it, I guess that was blood I smelled on him, but fuckin' Ulquirro masks that shit well."

"You are a fascinating arrancar, Grimmjow," Urahara said thoughtfully when Rukia came to the door.

"He's coming around."

To Urahara's surprise, the hollow shot up before he did to check on Ichigo. He knitted his brows together under his hat and snapped his fan open. "Yare, yare," he muttered and followed them into the room.

Ichigo was stirring, groaning still from the residual pain. Most of the wounds were completely healed, but he would hurt for a while.

Then they heard a voice they recognized, and all of them realized that there would be trouble.

"What the fuckin' fuck did you fuckin' let them do to my king?" the hollow's voice moaned and Ichigo's head rolled over, his black and gold eyes bright with anger.


	7. Chapter 7: Hollow Rage

_A/N: Thanks to all those that have favorited and followed the story. It is, of course nowhere near told yet. Shattered and broken, death seems the only option to the human boy to escape the crushing pain. His hollow has other ideas, though._

_This chapter is M for Grimmjow and Hichigo's foul mouths, and descriptions of torture and noncon. _

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**Chapter Seven**

**Hallow Rage**

He didn't get what was happening, one minute he was in his rain soaked world, the next minute he was blinking at the ceiling of that coy mother fucker's shop. He turned his head to see the expected throng of people and groaned.

_King?_ He queried in his mind, only to receive a stinging rebuke from Ichigo. No voice, just a strong emotional outburst that told him to stay the fuck away.

The body they shared hurt. A fucking ton. Everything from the toes to the tips of the bright orange hair hurt. But that was nothing compared to the pain streaking through their shared heart. Pain, shame, horror, and a strong impulse to die. And that's why he was here.

"Why are you in control of Ichigo's body?" the black haired one that drug them into the mess to start with said, stupidly, he thought.

"Why do you fuckin' think? I can't let him control it right now. I don't feel like dying yet even if he does," he muttered, looking from each of them hotly.

Inoue gasped. "Wh-what?"

"Fuck, are you all stupid? I'm a fuckin' hallow, and I'm having trouble with this shit," he said, still not moving. Fuck it hurt. Like his very insides had been ripped out. Well, they kinda had, after all.

The hat'n'clogs guy kneeled beside him. "Are you in pain still, Hichigo-san?"

"What the fuck do you think, ya coy bastard? I wasn't even close to being in control and I was screaming myself horse in my inner world prison. Even heard fuckin' Zangetsu a couple times, and that fucker is calm as a fucking lazy stream, of course I'm fucking in pain," Hichigo said, scrunching Ichigo's brows together in an expression similar to Ichigo's trademark scowl.

"You and the zanpakuto spirit knew what was happening?" Uryu asked softly.

The black and gold eyes rolled at them. "Of course, I'm half of his fucking soul. Now hurry the fuck up and get the fucker's mark off me."

There were exchanged curious glances. Grimmjow cleared his throat.

"His neck." Grimmjow walked over to the prone man/hallow and pointed to the purple mark that had never really healed. You're going to have to pull tha bastard's reiatsu out of him, and heal that bite wound. It's a hallow mark. We mark our mates with 'em, put our rieatsu into them, and makes us able to track them when we need to. Well, those like me that mate for life, anyway. Mah guess is that was how he held the connection through the garganta the first time, and that means he can still get him back if he wants to use it. I fuckin' hope Szayel's kept his end and kept his loud mouth shut. Otherwise, we're on borrowed time."

Urahara gasped and flew into a blur of motion. "Time difference, Ichigo's been here an hour, we have to hurry."

"Hichigo, I'll need your help, Rukia, we need Inoue-chan," he said, directing people.

Hichigo nodded, feeling very sleepy. "Aw fuck, he's trying to get through to me," he said. "I'll fight it, but without Ichigo its gonna be hard."

Inoue ran into the room, her eyes still looking hollow as she locked eyes with the black and gold eyes that were in place of Ichigo's warm chocolate ones. "Yo, big tits," he said with a smirk, causing a full body blush to spread over her. Then he leaned back and moaned. "Fuck you Aizen, ya bastard, it ain't that easy."

Urahara pushed her forward. "Inoue, I need you to reject the reiatsu that Aizen put into Ichigo, the mark on his neck."

"But when I did that before…" she protested.

Hichigo fixed her with a look. "Look I'm fuckin' in control at the moment, do what the fuck you have to, I can take it, he can't."

"But…but…" she stammered, her grey eyes brimming with tears already.

Rukia put a hand to her back. "If you don't, Aizen is going to pulling him through a garganta again like last time," she whispered. "We have no choice."

"I'd fuckin' die than go back," Hichigo growled, his body shaking with the strain. His own black reiatsu was already swirling around his body as sparks of the violet reiatsu were trying to take over the black. "Fuck you Aizen," he snarled again. "Ichigo's a fuckin' beta, I'm not, fucker. My hollow ass ain't submitting to you with just that, try harder…"

Rukia watched as the internal struggle went on between the hollow and apparently Aizen. Inoue sat down by his head and placed the golden shield over the shoulder. As soon as she did, Hichigo let out a screech and blood began to gush from the spot. Inoue wavered until Hichigo fixed her with a glare.

"Bitch, don't stop, fuckin' don't stop," he growled, his own black reiatsu flaring all around him.

Urahara stood back, as Tessai stood over, chanting an intricate kido. The room was already warded, and those present would be able to stand the reaitsu now. Grimmjow was standing at the side, arms crossed, watching intently. Renji had pulled Rukia close, her own body shivering at the powers flowing before her and hoping that the blood that was starting to run across the tatami mats was going to stop soon.

"Argh, fuck!" Hichgo screamed, his body going ridged as the violet reiatsu was being pulled under the golden shield. His whole body was shaking. "Get the fuck out Aizen, no fuckin' way you're staying while I'm fuckin' in control. I told yer fuckin' ass, I ain't no fuckin' beta."

Renji and Rukia found themselves stepping back away, blood flowing away and Ichigo's tan flesh paling from the loss. They were standing by Grimmjow.

"What's he mean?" asked Renji, quirking an eyebrow at the espada.

Grimmjow fixed his cyan eyes on the pair. "The beta thing?" he said, frowning.

"Yeah," Uryu said, overhearing what Renji said, and curious himself.

Grimmjow sighed, watching as the reiatsu became more violent and he could barely see Ichigo's body through the haze of black. "Hollows are animals, you know that, right? We all take after one. Its because we're base instinct without tha heart anymore, so we revert to basic ways. I was a panther, small but fuckin' powerful, until Aizen came along. I hadn't become a vasto lorde yet, but I was fuckin' close, and would have if Aizen hadn't interfered."

He looked back as Hichigo let out a particularly loud screaming growl that sounded something like "fuck you Aizen you cunt". He snorted.

"I'm guessin' that's Ichigo's hollow runnin' tha show now," he said glancing at the others, receiving nods of consent. "He's a vasto lorde, if I don't miss my guess from tha power. How the fuck that kid is sharing a soul with a fuckin' vasto lorde is beyond me, but what the hell, doesn't matter. Anyway, us hollows don't have male and female roles. We just have alpha and beta roles. The need to control and the need to submit. Usually we take mates here and there, some like me can be mated for life, others like fuckin' bat boy Uliquirro don't. Depends on the animal. Some just fuck anythin' tha comes their way. We're fuckin' animals, remember?"

Everyone was entranced by the blue haired arrancar, even Urahara, trying to control the bursting reiatsu before him was half listening.

"His hollow said he's not a beta like Ichigo?" Renji asked slowly. "But Ichigo isn't a hollow, he's human."

Grimmjow smiled. "Doesn't matter much. He's still a fuckin' beta. He doesn't know it, doesn't think it, but it is. He shares a soul with that alpha, so he can't be one. Otherwise they would have killed each other."

"But how can that be, Ichigo is the one in control of the body they share, so he's stronger?" asked Rukia, truly not understanding. "He's bested Hichigo every time, and finally tamed him to get the vizard power."

Grimmjow smirked. "Yeah, well, alphas don' want pussy betas. If our beta can't kick our ass and nearly kill us, they die. Stronger is better. I've never had a beta because of that, I've fuckin' ate every one of them I've come across."

Uryu swallowed. "So Hichigo is happy that Ichigo is stronger?"

"Fuck yes he is. If he wasn't, he would have forced him into the furthest corner of that body by now. No, he wants him like that. He's proud as fuck of him, if know the truth. Sure he don't like being beat, but he knows that he's been bested by tha only one he wants to beat him," Grimmjow said with a smirk. "Must be nice to feel that way," he muttered watching the violet rieastu try and escape the confines of the golden shield.

"Ichigo said he told him that he would take over if he let his guard down, and sounded downright despicable," Rukia mused.

Grimmjow nodded. "He keeps him sharp; on his toes. But he doesn't let him die, when it comes to it, he fights for him and then goes away. That hollow is fuckin' strong, and for Ichigo to force him back…" They couldn't miss the light in his eyes, almost a yearning, as he watched the battle before him, a slow tongue licking across his lips.

The moment of discomfort was shattered by an ear splitting screech, and a gout of blood that washed up all over Inoue's hands and arms. She faltered, the shield shivering at her shock from being covered in blood.

"Stupid woman, don't stop, I've got fuckin' regeneration, I ain't gonna die so easy," Hichigo yelled. "Fuck you, Aizen!" he screamed again. "I'm fuckin' going to crush you!"

There was a huge burst of reaitsu then, a violet and the angry red tinged black. The two forces blasted everyone back to the walls, including Inoue and Urahara. Tessai, mountain of a man he was, managed to hold his position and kept chanting over Ichigo. They all could hear Aizen's voice, but couldn't understand the words, and felt the growling from Ichigo's hollow. As the reaitsu twisted and pushed above him, they could see a full hallow mask had formed, with horns. From there, the white of the hollow's body was flowing down like water, covering Ichigo's form as the reaitsu above him fought.

"You don't know who yer dealing with, fuckin' Aizen," the hollow growled from under the mask, the transformation continuing until the Ichigo they knew wasn't there, his skin turned white, his hands and feet altered.

"Vasto lorde…I knew it," muttered Grimmjow, felling the oppressive energy roiling off of the creature inside Ichigo.

The two gouts of reaitsu continued to intertwine and twist with each other but finally, the black began to overtake the purple until there was a flash and the hallow screamed again. He was breathing heavily, and the hallow transformation began to fall away, finally the mask cracking and disappating. Blood was everywhere, and there was a feeling like burnt ozone in the room. Where the room had been barriered, the shimmering walls were cracked and shattering as everyone's vision cleared. Ichigo's body, lay there now, skin pale from the blood loss, eyes shut and panting. There was an angry red scar on his shoulder where the bite wound had been, and long raw red gashes ran down his chest away from it.

"Ichigo?" Inoue said, crawling forward, calling her power again, the golden shield coming into existence over him. She hoped his eyes would be brown when they opened. Slowly, color began to return to his face, the blood being replaced by her ministrations.

"Oi, thanks big tits," he muttered, eyes fluttering open. Black sclera and gold pupils looked back at the group.

Grimmjow quirked an eybrow. That was interesting.

"Wh-why are you still here?" asked Rukia, her voice still shaky from the incredible outpouring of power they'd just experienced.

"Ah told ya, I can't let him die," the hollow said quietly, sitting up, pulling the sheet over his lap.

There was a look exchanged among them and Urahara kneeled beside him. "He was going to kill himself, wasn't he?"

There was a collective gasp. The hallow sighed. "I had to take control. I couldn't let him kill us like that. So I did what I had ta do and I hated ta do it. And it wasn't hard. Once I pushed him he retreated and now ah can't reach him, neither can zangetsu. I can't give him control. He'll just end it."

The rest sat down, realizing now that Aizen had been pushed out, that the hallow intended to talk.

"I couldn't talk ta him, couldn't tell him I was there, and he couldn't tell I was there, but I could see, feel, hear it all. And I knew it was gonna break him. We were okay fer a while, ya know. Fuckin' pink haired scientist did about every test in the world, I think he fuckin' stuck a needle in every goddamned organ we've got. But he knocked us out some too. I guess Mayuri, fuckin' psychotic bastard that he is, would love ta do the same thing," he said, running a hand through the orange locks on his head.

"Then fuckin' Gin took his goddamned turn," he said, running fingers across the fine long scars and thick patches of scar tissue. "Bastard is good with that knife of his. But that wasn't too bad, ya know. Hurt like a motha fucker, but Ichigo was okay with it. He figured about two weeks in that maybe ya'll had got away and that made him happy. He didn't want ya comin' ta save him, cuz he was scared you'd end up like him. So that was okay."

Hichigo looked up silently. "Then they left us alone. Fucking completely alone. Wake up to bread and water, go to sleep, wake up to bread and water, go to sleep. Ichigo couldn't tell time, a'course. But we spent probably two months like that. No one to see, talk to, nothin'. Fuck, Ichigo was hopin' that Gin would come slice him up again, it was that bad. And me an Zan couldn't do shit. If we'd been able to talk to 'im, it may've been okay. But no, fuckin' Aizen separated us."

Everyone was settled in to an eerie silence, the only sound a slight buzzing from Urahara's equipment where he was recording everything that Hichigo was saying to pass along to soul society. He'd also filmed the incident since the whole thing started.

"Then I'll be damned if we didn't wake up in a fuckin' bed. Ichigo was so fuckin' worried about what was happening he didn't see fuckin' Aizen. He didn't know what the fuck was happening but as soon as Aizen touched him, he fuckin' was set on fire. I knew what was going on. Fuckin' Szayel had injected him with some shit to 'arouse' him for Aizen. Two months of no contact, and fucking drugs in his system meant the kid didn't know what hit him as Aizen took him. I was fuckin' railing against the walls as I felt his mind start to crack. I couldn't get through ta tell him it wasn't his fault. That Aizen'd drugged him, set him up to enjoy the perverted shit he was doing to him," Hichigo had taken to looking at the ceiling.

"Fuckin' king cracked like a goddamned egg on the second week. Two weeks, two or three times a day, and it was too much for him. He just laid there and stopped fighting. He took off the bindings, except the fucking reiatsu sapping shit, and Ichigo just stopped fightin'," he said with a sigh. "I was proud of 'im though, ya know. Lasting that long. Aizen is a sick and twisted mother fucking bastard. And every day, Szayel would come and inject that same shit into him while he was passed out. We didn't sleep, ya know, just passed out from the pain. Szayel would sometimes inject other shit when Aizen left him bleeding so much it wouldn't stop. Felt better afterward, but never enough."

Hichigo stared at Grimmjow then. "If this fucker hadn't showed up, we were done. Ulquirro, fuckin' passive emotionless mother fucker, decided he wanted to see what all tha fuss was about. Aizen didn't know, fuck, no one was allowed in there. But he came in while Ichigo was bathing, like he did every time Aizen left. First few times he nearly scrubbed his skin clean off when he was left out long enough to bathe himself. I couldn't fuckin' blame him.

"But Ulquirro had this look on his face, fuckin' bastard. I don't think Aizen had ever been so merciless with him. His body couldn't handle it, and I knew, I fuckin' knew when Ichigo decided it wasn't worth living anymore. I felt the fuckin' bones shatter, and fuckin' hell it hurt me, so I can only imagine how much pain Ichigo was in, since I only received part of the pain from the outside. An' he thought as soon as Ulquirro left he was gonna crawl in that bathroom, break somethin', and slit his fuckin' wrists and bleed out before Aizen came back for his second round. But fuck it hurt and he couldn't even get up, that's when blue kitty here showed up."

The room was again silent as they couldn't believe what he'd been subjected to. "Why?" Renji said slowly. "Why would he do this to him?"

Grimmjow grumbled. "You see why I fuckin' came here? The kid shoulda died fightin', not broken to pieces like this shit."

Urahara sighed. "I think Aizen wanted to make sure that even if he got away, he would never be able to fight again. And I think Aizen wanted us to get him back, at some point, just to show us, and soul society, just how useless it was to fight him."

"Getabishi, so now what?" Hichigo asked. "I can't even get him to come out in our inner world, can't even find him right now, how the fuck am I supposed to be a horse to a broken king? He wants to die, that's all I know. And I'm not lettin' him and he's fuckin' pissed at me right now."

Urahara leaned back on his heels in thought. He knew this was going to be a long road of recovery, but dealing with someone that not only wanted to die, but was hiding in a place none of them could reach, was going to be difficult, to say the least.

"Szayel did tell me that his tests hadn't done much," Grimmjow spoke up. They all glanced his way. "I don't think that pink haired freak wanted to do what he did, otherwise we wouldn't have left Las Noches. He knew it was fuckin' messed up. Considering he held Aizen off as long as he did, I am sure he wasn't lyin. The idea of creating more like Kurosaki there, hollow/human hybrids, it didn't work as planned, but this hollow may be different."

"Of course I'm fucking different. I didn't fuckin' just show up. I have always been in the king's soul, since the day he was made, hell I'm fuckin' half of his soul. I was passed from his fuckin' mother, so there was no way I could be recreated. Fuckin' Aizen shoulda known that. This is shit that can't just be made. One in a fuckin' million," Hichigo said rolling his eyes and standing to stretch, forgetting the fact that Ichigo was still nude, or perhaps not really caring. Inoue and Rukia both turned away, faces red. Grimmjow arched a brow and gave an amused smirk, thinking not bad to himself.

"Yo, hat'n'clogs, I need a fuckin' bath," he said arching one of Ichigo's orange brows at him.

"Ah, yes, this way," he said, snapping his fan in front of his face as he stood up, leading the naked man out into the hall to the bathroom. "I'll lay out some clothes for you, Hichigo-kun."

The silence that followed was nearly deafening, broken only by the humming of the recording machinery.


	8. Chapter 8: Nameless Fear

_A/N: And yeah, so I've been dwelling on the story. So here we have chapter eight. Some RenxRuki (kinda), and more foul mouthed Hichigo and Grimmjow. This chapter contains self harm/attempted suicide, and implied relations. Enjoy!_

* * *

**Chapter Eight**

**Nameless Fear**

Shivering, shivering, why was he so cold? His deep brown eyes opened slowly to realize he was under water, and breathing fine. For some reason the fact he could breathe underwater didn't seem to bother him at all. He just laid there, his back against a sideways building under the water. It was actually kind of soothing laying here like this.

"Ichigo?" he heard, and he was suddenly angry, very angry and he shot out an enormous gout of energy at the voice.

"Stay the fuck away," he muttered, rolling over and closing his eyes in the water. He had hoped he'd drown when he ducked under the rising waters. He wanted to drown the pain, drown it all.

This wasn't like him. This wanting to die. He knew it wasn't like him to wallow in self-pity and pain. But what else could he do? Aizen had done those horrible things to him and he'd enjoyed it, and now, lying here, hidden away underwater in his inner world, he wanted him to do it to him again. So help him, he wanted to feel his hands, scratching and clawing flesh from him. He wanted to feel those hands holding him down, sometimes choking him until his vision was almost black. He wanted his touches, his body torn apart then put back together by him. Good god, he wanted it more than he wanted to be free, more than he wanted to see his friends. More than he wanted to protect his friends. So he just wanted to die instead of this wanting. This wanting was wrong. He knew that. What a pitiful creature he'd become.

He'd been ready, honestly. After Ulquirro had left him he tried so hard to get up to get near the bathroom, there had been a glass mirror in it, but his legs wouldn't support him. As bad as Ulquirro hurt him, not bothering to give any pretense of pleasure to him like Aizen did, his body had responded, leaving a thick wet place on the bed where he'd been pressed up against it. He was so ashamed he couldn't even think straight and when Grimmjow had entered, all he could do was wonder how long he would take before he could get into the bathroom and end it. He'd let him do it to him, not that he could stop him, and he knew that his body would respond again, bringing him to pleasure again despite the horrendous pain he was in. Would he even survive that? Blood was pooling around him like never before, and he was sick to his stomach. Something inside was torn. Even at his roughest, he'd never bled like this. If Grimmjow took his own turn, would he just die in the middle? He would have liked that, dying before he could shame himself again.

But he hadn't done anything, just picked him up and Ichigo finally succumbed to the pain and passed out. Then he remembered waking up, and looking into Renji's dark eyes and Rukia's violet ones and wondered what fresh hell this was, was he using the illusion on him? But he'd never seen his shikai… So he tried to get away, imagining his dear friends turning on him, pressing him down into the floor and… But then in a haze he threw up and heard Grimmjow's voice, sending a shiver through his entire being. Then the pain, oh god the pain in his body, and it all went blank again.

Something was happening, though, out there. He felt Aizen's pull again, and he wrapped his arms around himself. No, not again, he couldn't go back out, he'd stay in here, where he could only feel echoes. He knew Hichigo had taken over. He remembered floating and that white bastard screaming at him that he was not going to let him end their life like that. He'd told him to fuck off, it was his body. Hichigo had rambled on about him being selfish, and Ichigo had flashed away. He'd found the place rain soaked, but he didn't care. The waters were rising and he tried to drown himself in it. Unfortunately, it was his inner world's water, not real water.

Ichigo shivered as he felt Hichigo call forth the full amount of his hollow power, something that Ichigo had never really experienced. The other vizard had fought him fully transformed. It was a frightening amount of power, but he was sure Aizen would overpower him. But he felt something familiar, the warm tingling of Inoue's power. There was a ripping and tearing sensation, as if it was yanking something entwined with his soul. Inoue, he thought. You'd be so disgusted with me now, Inoue. I'm disgusting, he told himself.

Finally, whatever had been going on stopped, and he felt the hollow powers receding, flooding back inside where they had come from. It was kind of warm, in a way. Being without the hollow or Zangetsu had been so hard. He hadn't been able to face his zanpakto spirit yet. How disgusting and filthy he would think he was in this state.

Even here, in the waters of his inner world, he began to scratch at his skin, trying to scratch away any trace of the defiling touch. The water was turning red around him, but he just kept digging into his flesh, his arms, his face, anywhere he could touch. His hakama were the only part of his clothes he wore, his top having frayed with his reiatsu, and only now had the hakama reformed on his body. He ripped them away and attacked his legs, great gouts of blood washing into the water.

-Urahara Shoten-

Hichigo stood under the water forever it seemed like washing away dried blood, sticky blood, and fresh blood. How much blood did a body have, anyway? The water ran red as it flowed down the drain. His whole body was so sore. His back, hips, and rear bearing the brunt of the soreness. Inoue's healing had mended the shattered pelvic bones, but damn they still hurt like a son of a bitch.

He wrapped a towel around his waist, and walked out into the room where a light conversation had started among the shinigami and allies. It stopped when he entered the room.

"What? Hat'n'clogs, where's those… holy fuck!" he cried out as blood began to run down his arms.

He looked down as he saw thick, deep scratches forming on his arms and he knew what was happening. "Goddammit, Ichigo!" he said, yanking the towel from around his waist and wrapping it around his arm.

Urahara came around the corner, his arms full of clothes, to find the still naked Hichigo standing in the middle of the room with the others, all of which were transfixed by the towel he was holding to his left arm that was quickly staining red. Then his right arm started to bleed.

"Fuck, king, that fuckin' hurts! Stop it!" he growled as his face and neck started to bleed.

"What's going on?" Inoue said, jumping up and running toward him, throwing her shield over him, healing the wounds but fresh ones broke out bleeding as soon as she healed them. Then blood was running down his thighs and he fell to his knees.

"Hat'n'clogs, I've got to stop him, I'll be back," the hollow said, closing his eyes and fading into the inner world, flopping backward onto the floor, blood running from marks all over his body now.

"Keep healing him, Inoue," Urahara said, draping a towel over his nakedness and pulling his legs out from under him to make him as comfortable as possible.

"What's causing him to bleed?" Uryu asked, coming over and examining the wounds that were reforming as quickly as Inoue's power was healing them.

Urahara sighed, sitting on his knees beside his head. "Ichigo is doing it."

"What?" Renji said, moving up to stand over his body, now looking just like plain old Ichigo with his eyes shut.

"Wounds in your inner world can be carried to the real body in some cases. Some fights between Ichigo and his hollow have left him needing to be healed here in the real world. His spirit body is, after all, a spirit body. When he retreats into his inner world, the things can transfer back like this," Urahara said slowly.

"But that means…" Rukia said, leaning over to watch as four distinct marks ran down Ichigo's stomach from the middle out on each side. "He's clawing his own body?!"

Grimmjow leaned over. "Fuck, this kid is more messed up than I thought…"

-Ichigo's Inner World-

Hichigo flashed from building to building, searching for his king. What was he going to do if he kept this up? He was really going to die from the inside out. Finally he stopped and a familiar black clad person appeared beside him.

"Where is he, Zangetsu?" Hichigo asked.

"I've felt a disturbance down below that building. Let's find him and pull him out of the waters and try and reason with him," Zangetsu said with a sigh.

Hichigo snorted as he flashed off, Zangetsu behind him. "You have no idea, osan, he's not going to be reasoned with right now."

Zangetsu nodded as they flashed over a part of water that was red in color instead of the blue of the rest of the rising waters.

"Fuck, king," Hichigo muttered. "I'm glad ya ain't letting him manifest the blade," he muttered.

Zangetsu shook his head. "He's far too unstable. I will not be used like that. By either of you."

With that the two spirits dove into the red water, smelling and tasting the metallic blood around them. If it weren't for Inoue on the outside, he would have bled out already judging by the amount of blood tinting the water. Hichigo saw him first, his pale skin in the blood darkened water. Ichigo was so absorbed in trying to rip his own flesh from his body that he didn't notice the two figures hurtling at him through the water. He was yelling and cursing and Hichigo's heart, if he had one, sunk.

"Dirty, filthy skin," he yelled, trying to pull a good size chunk from his arm, only to have it seal back as Inoue's power affected his real spirit body. "Disgusting, fucking disgusting, fucking die, die, die, I can't stand to look at this, I can't stand to fucking be this anymore," he yelled, scraping both hands at his face, trying to scratch at his eyes now. "God dammit, die already, fucking Inoue, quit healing me, let me fucking die!" he yelled, realizing now what was happening as he tried desperately to rip the flesh from his stomach, trying to dig his fingers deep into the flesh to rip out his own organs if he could. She couldn't heal that as easily as his skin, he thought. "Fucking quit," he screamed at the invisible shield.

Then, Zangetsu had him by the right arm, and Hichigo by the left. He struggled against them as he slurred unintelligible curses and growls at them both. They forced him up above the water and onto one of the buildings, him screaming and struggling against them as much as he could.

"Fucking stop!" Hichigo yelled as Zangetsu pulled both his arms painfully up behind his back, clamping tightly to his wrists.

Ichigo gasped at his white twin, fear flickering into his eyes, and for a moment he saw Aizen's face, not the hollow and he stopped, panting and panicked. Zangetsu had a tight and familiar hold on his wrists and he relaxed into him sighing pleasantly. Zangetsu frowned at him and then at Hichigo over Ichigo's shoulder. The look on his face was akin to pure bliss.

"Conditioned response," Zangetsu said with a deep sigh.

Hichigo quirked a brow. "What the fuck do you mean, old man?"

"He's conditioned to behave this way. Being held like this, his arms pinned, it's what Aizen did to him so many times. "

Hichigo frowned, watching Ichigo's face as it relaxed. "What the fuck, he likes this shit now?"

Zangetsu shook his head. "No, he can't react any other way."

"Well fuck," Hicigo breathed. "Can you handle him from here on, old man?"

Zangetsu nodded. "I'll have to bind him, secure his hands, or he's going to start trying to do it again. I don't want to do that, its counterproductive, but we've got no choice."

"Okay, I'm counting on you, Zan. Just…I don't know…make it as far away from looking like fuckin' Aizen's place as you can. And for godsakes, don't touch him any more than you have to, we don't need him flipping the fuck out in here while I'm trying to deal with the idiots on the outside," Hichigo said, fading from site.

-Urahara Shoten—

Ichigo's body groaned, finally the sprouting fonts of blood quelled, and now fully healed. They waited eagerly, hoping that they would be met with chocolate brown eyes of the person they hoped to see.

"Fucking hell!" came from Ichigo's mouth and they all knew it was Hichigo. He sat up and rubbed his temples. "The fuck am I gonna do with him?"

"What happened?" Urahara said softly from beside him.

"He was fucking trying to rip is own stomach open by the time I got there, screaming at Inoue to stop healing him and let him die," Hichigo said with a sigh, leaning back on his hands and staring at the ceiling. "He knew she was the one doin' it, obviously, and he was intent on doing somethin' she couldn't repair as quickly. I don't think I've seen so much blood in the water before."

There was a heavy silence. "I think we made it worse," he said softly, looking at the ceiling still.

"Why is that?" Urahara asked, placing a hand on his bare shoulder.

"We had to restrain him, and the fuckin' minute Zangetsu locked his arms back, he fuckin' relaxed like he was in a goddamned spa with this totally calm look on his face. Zan said it was called a conditioned response or some shit. I knew it was bad, but we got no damn choice if he's going to try and do that."

Urahara sighed scanning the room. Renji sat staring at the ground beside Rukia, while Inoue sat against the wall beside Hichigo. Uryu and Chad both stood beside Grimmjow, neither one fully trusting the sexta espada. Yourichi had gone somewhere, and Unohana and Hanataro were still resting in the basement.

Hichigo reached over and grabbed the clothes that Urahara was holding and stood up, dressing in front of the group. He pulled up the jeans over his much too thin hips and looked up when everyone was turned away, again Rukia and Inoue a bright shade of red. Grimmjow was the only one staring unabashed at him as he dressed, one eyebrow quirked.

"Seriously? All of you never seen a fuckin' man naked before?" Hichgo said, stuffing himself into the jeans and grabbing the shirt and pulling it on.

Urahara cleared his throat and snapped his fan open in front of him. "Well, I think we all need rest, including you, Hichigo. That body looks seriously malnourished and weakened."

Hichigo ran his hands over the incredibly thin body. There was nearly no muscle definition left, all semblance of tone and strength atrophied. It was a wonder he could stand and walk as well as he did. Well, the truth was, he was putting a hell of a lot of his reiatsu into it to simply stay vertical.

"I guess the king wouldn't like it much if I went around finding tasty souls to eat, would he?" he muttered.

There was another collective gasp. "Ah, lay off," he said, waving at him. "I know what my king would want me to do. Just because I'm in control doesn't mean I'm going all the shit he would want to kill my sorry ass for. But I might check out a strip club or two," he said, licking his lips with a smirk. "Fuck me a couple strippers, um…that would be fun. Maybe two at once…"

"Um, Hichigo, I think it best if you stay here until your body is back to normal, as much fun as that sounds for you."

Hichigo slanted his black and gold eyes and looked at hat'n'clogs. "Maybe I could take you for a ride, eh, getabishi? I bet you ain't been laid in a while. King had a couple interesting thoughts on how that'd go down."

"I see Ichigo hasn't returned yet," a voice at the door said. They looked up to see Issin, this time in his jeans and t-shirt. "What's happening?"

"Yo, pops, what's up?" Hichigo said with a smirk.

"Why are you here, where's Ichigo?" he asked, his face starting to get heated.

Urahara put a hand on his old friend's shoulder gently. "Issin-kun, please, don't get upset with Hichigo. He's doing everything he can, and I've got everything recorded, so you can see what's happened for yourself, okay? It's easier than explaining it to you. Come back here," he said as he pulled the man away from Ichigo. Hichigo grinned and stuck his tongue out, and then looked down at his tongue. It was blue.

"Fuck it all," he muttered.

Renji stood up and looked closer at his tongue. "Why is it blue now? It wasn't earlier. It was only blue when you manifested fully before all this stuff."

HIchigo sighed. "King is letting go control. The longer this takes to put him back in tha' driver's seat, the more this body is gonna change into my form, until there's no goin' back."

"How long do we have?" asked Rukia standing beside Renji, gripping his hand tight.

Hichigo shook his head. "I dunno, but we gotta come up with something fast. Now ya'll get the fuck out, I'm goin' to sleep."

They all left, Inoue, Chat and Uryu heading to their respective homes, and Renji and Rukia standing alone in the front of the shop waiting to ask Issin if they could spend the night in Ichigo's room so they didn't bother anyone, especially Hichigo. After a while, Issin came back, rubbing the bridge of his nose, and he looked like his eyes were red. It was decided that they would come back with them, it being almost dinner anyway. Yuza would have cooked enough for an army, for sure. And Karin would like seeing both Renji and Rukia, no doubt. Both Renji and Rukia donned their gigai and headed out with Issin, waving to Urahara.

Dinner was a fun affair at the Kurosaki household, as usual, and despite what was happening, Issin kept happy for his daughters. Kon, in Ichigo's body, had been sent to Urahara's shop, just in case they needed to transfer him back. The girls had been told he was off studying with Uryu and Chad for the evening. And for a while, there was nothing wrong with the worlds.

Rukia and Renji headed upstairs to Ichigo's room where they stood for a long moment. Finally Rukia spoke. "I'll take the closet, I fit in there okay, you take his bed."

She moved to turn away but Renji grabbed her, turning her back, and saw her eyes brimming with tears. He crushed her into his chest and held her as she began to sob against him. No words needed to be said. Guilt and concern overflowed in both of them, as Renji felt soft tears falling from his eyes to the top of Rukia's head.

Before either of them knew what happened, their mouths were crushed against each other, heated lips, teeth and tongues swirling together. The sweet scents of each other mixed with the salt of the bitter tears. Not willing to lay on the bed of their friend together, Renji lowered her to the floor, kissing and soothing her as he went. Before a few more moments their clothes were gone they were moving together trying to capture some sort of fleeting ecstasy to relieve the pain in their hearts. The entire time, their tears never stopped, and they never stopped kissing them away off of each other's faces. When they were done they lay side by side on the floor and stared at Ichigo's ceiling.

"I guess we needed that," Renji sighed. It had been months since they had been together, and they had decided after their last encounter that they were going to end it. Yet here they were.

"Yeah," Rukia whispered, slowly replacing her clothes and climbing into the closet.

Renji replaced his hair tie, and pulled on the jeans he'd been wearing. He slid into Ichigo's bed and lay down. Soon he heard the soft sounds of Rukia's snoring, her nose still stuffed from tears. He felt his own tears wetting the pillow as Ichigo's scent wafted from the pillow into his nostrils. What hurt the most was that unless something gave, he'd never get to tell that stupid orange haired brat how he felt about him.


	9. Chapter 9: Forgetting How to Breathe

_A/N: Okay I know I'm butchering a couple names in here (Unohana for one, I think I fixed those though, and I keep using hallow and hollow interchangeably) but bear with me. I"m writing fast because I need to get this story out of my head before it explodes!_

_Also, I'm working on sprinkling in some of the Japanese because I watch the subs, and I can't think of Ichigo without the throaty, sexy voice of the guy that does his Japanese voice. As I'm writing, sometimes I don't have the words handy (Head Captain, for example when I was typing this). Later I'll be going through and replacing the chapters with these things added. But for now I'm in a mad dash to get this story out of my bloody head!_

_Thanks for all the encouraging words, and don't worry, I intend to finish out the story. :) I go nuts when I find a great, engrossing story on here, only to have it end after a few chapters. So sad!_

* * *

**Chapter Nine**

**Forgetting How to Breathe**

Renji and Rukia slowly left the Kurosaki house, it was the weekend, so the girls were not in school. Yuzu had made breakfast and told Rukia and Renji to make sure that her brother got home in time for dinner tonight because she was making him a chocolate cake because he loved chocolate. Renji and Rukia didn't mention their night of passion. It had been for comfort, solace from the cold fear that was creeping in both of their hearts. Ichigo was their friend, he'd given up his whole life for Rukia and Soul Society. And they couldn't do anything.

They made it to the shop, and went in to find Hichigo and Grimmjow seated at the table in the kitchen having breakfast.

"How the fuck ya live on this shit?" muttered Hichigo over his plate of eggs and bacon. "It don't even have anything in it."

Grimmjow snorted. "You've been watchin' the world out his eyes for how long and ya don't get that?"

Hichigo frowned, shoveling another bite of the hot eggs into his mouth. "Well, I didn't fuckin' think I'd be the one eatin' this shit. Figured I got control I'd go hunt up some hollows or a few wandering souls."

Grimmjow snickered this time, leaning back in his chair, shaking his head at the other hollow. "I got used to havin' it around Aizen's place. The shinigami don't eat hollows like the arrancar, so Aizen had a buttload of this stuff frozen and put away. Some if it ain't half bad. Fish is pretty good."

They heard a snicker as Renji lost it, starting to laugh in ernest at Grimmjow's comment. Rukia frowned.

"He likes fish!" Renji finally said when he stopped laughing so hard.

Grimmjow cocked an eyebrow and stared at the redheaded shinigami with a death glare. "The hell, shinigami?"

"Eh hem, I believe Abarai-kun is referring to the fact that cats like fish of all kinds, and you, Grimmjow-kun are a cat hollow," Urahara said walking up and flipping his fan open in front of his face.

The quick flush that ran up Grimmjow's cheeks was enough for Urahara to flip his cane up and press it into his forehead, stopping him in his seat as he was about to explode out of it at Renji, who was still snickering.

"Now, Grimmjow-kun, he's just having a little fun, he means no harm," Urahara said as Grimmjow tried to move from under the cane but found himself firmly fixed in place. "Now, please, I don't want my shop torn up again, so if you and Abarai-kun want to spar, take it down stairs."

Hichigo smirked. "Now that fuckin' sounds like a plan. I gotta get this kid's body back in shape, being tied up for four months has turned him into a weakling. But I can force it with a little help from my reiatsu. Keep going when the body wants to give up. Inoue can heal any strains or breaks I get."

"Hichigo-kun, please, I'd rather you not tear up the body we just put back together," Urahara said, his eyes peeking from the shadows of his hat.

Hichigo was already moving. "Come on, fuckers, show me what yer made of," he said, gesturing to Renji and Grimmjow.

Urahara sighed and sunk into the seat Hichigo had just vacated, leaving him and Rukia alone while the boys took their aggression downstairs.

"Will he be okay?" Rukia asked.

"I'm sure, Hichigo has instant regeneration, so he can heal back most anything," Urahara said as he watched Grimmjow disappear into the hall.

"That's not what I mean," she said, staring at her hands.

Urahara turned back, placing his fan down on the table. He reached over and grabbed her hand gently. "He will, Rukia, he will. But it will take time."

Then her tears came again. "I did this to him, Urahara-sama. Me. If I hadn't run into him…"

Urahara patted her hand. "Rukia, his power was awakening then already. If it hadn't been you, it would have come about on its own. Issin-kun and I have been waiting a long time to see what happened with Ichigo."

Unohana came in the room, Hanataro in tow. Urahara smiled. "Retsu-kun, I see the boys chased you from your rest."

She nodded pleasantly. "Yes, but I must report to the head captain, so may I take the copies of the debriefings."

"Of course, wait here a moment!" Urahara said leaping lightly to his feet.

Rukia looked up. "Unohana-taichou," she said softly. "Do you think he'll be okay, I mean, eventually?"

The fourth squad captain smiled gently, and nodded. "With work and much patience, and know he will need you all to help him through it, no matter what he says. He will push you away when he comes out, do not let him."

Urahara came back and handed her a small black box. "Here, have a good return trip," he said giving her a bow. She returned it and left. Hanataro gave a shy wave as he exited the shoten.

-Soul Society-Captain's Meeting—

"Unohana-taichou, present your report for the rest of the captains," the head captain boomed.

The dark haired woman stepped out in the middle, glancing up and down the others. All were present, even Ukitake.

"The substitute shinigami, Kurosaki Ichigo, was returned to the world of the living by the sexta espada known as Grimmjow," she began and was met with murmurs around her.

"Silence!" the head captain demanded.

"With the help of Urahara Kisuke, former taichou of twelth division, we recorded the debriefings from those that went to Los Noches as well as Hichigo."

"Who is Hichigo?" asked Ukitake quietly.

Unohana nodded to him. "Hichigo is what the hollow that shares Kurosaki-san's soul calls himself to distinguish between him and Kurosaki-san. The hollow is currently in control of the substitute shinigami's body." Another murmur rippled through the room.

"Unohana-taichou, are you of the opinion that this 'Hichigo' is dangerous?" asked the head captain.

"No, head captain," she said. "He is currently trying to reach Kurosaki-san's soul and return it to control of their shared body. I do not feel that he is a threat, and everything we saw agreed with that. At this point, I will show those present the recordings Urahara Kisuke made."

There was a screen that all of them could see. The first was when the group first came back into the world of the living, with Ichigo in tow. She flicked to the next ones, which were in series, each of those involved telling Urahara what had happened from their point of views. Then she played the recording where Urahara summoned the hollow's spirit, and the disappearance of Ichigo. She paused and glanced at the group.

"The next section is rather long, and disturbing in some parts. As you've seen, the hollow known as Hichigo is brash and vulgar, but he was awake during the ordeal that Kurosaki-san went through," she said but was interrupted.

"Aren't we overreacting?" Mayuri groaned from his position. "The boy was gone for four days."

"Unfortunately, Kurotsuchi-taichou, it seems that Aizen has some control over the flow of time between worlds. Our time advanced four days. For him, time advanced four months."

Mayuri's jaw tightened and he returned to his position as Unohana played the last video. After the watched Hichio leave, they started to mutter amongst themselves.

"Please, there is more," Unohana said, and fixed a glare that made everyone in the room stiffen and be quiet.

The rest of the scene played out and turned to the head captain. "It is my assessment that the substitute shinigami has retreated to his inner world. He has attempted suicide one time, and is now being restrained by his zanpakto spirit. He has undergone physical and sexual abuse and torture for a total time of four months. His injuries when he arrived were so severe that had Inoue Orhime not been present, he would have died within half an hour's time. According to the espada, Aizen peformed tests on Kurosaki-san in an attempt to create a more perfect arrancar. His hollow doesn't have a hollow hole, and I posit that Aizen believed that it would make him much stronger. The hollow, as you saw in the recording, that currently resides with Kurosaki-san is of vasto lorde class."

"Thank you for the full report, Unohana-taichou. Now, the rest of you, Soifon-taichou, I want you and stealth force to head to the world of the living and watch for any incursions. Aizen will want the arrancar and the substitute shinigami back, no doubt. We must not let that happen. Both are too valuable to us. I also want a guard on the espada at all times, without his knowledge. He will remain confined with Urahara Kisuke for the time being, as well as Kurosaki Ichigo. I also want an eye on him at all times. Kurotsuki-taichou, I want you to contact Urahara Kisuke and get as much information on what Aizen could have obtained by examining the boy. Organize your own testing through him. Do not, I repeat, do not traumatize the boy any further. The appearance of the hollow in control of his body is dangerous and we do not want it to continue or we will have to terminate the boy no matter his value. Zaraki-taichou, send two of your seated officers that the substitute shinagami is familiar with to the world of the living to help. Kuchiki-taichou, I ask that you allow Abarai-fukutaichou to remain with the boy for the time being. I request the same of you, Ukitaki-taichou for Kuchiki Rukia. Dismissed."

-Urahara Shoten—

"Is that all you got, red pineapple?" Hichigo crowed from the other side of the desert looking basement standing on top of a large boulder.

Renji growled, sending Zabimaru's bankai after the hollow currently occupying Ichigo's body. He deftly leapt and ran down the spines of the giant skeletal snake. Oh no you don't, Renji thought, sepearting the spines to try and wrap around him, but found a hand suddenly on his shoulder as the black clad shinigami vaulted over his shoulder. When did he do that?

He laughed from behind him, attacking with what seemed to be complete abandon, spinning and twisting in the air, similar to how Byakuya had described his attacks. Red lined black reaitsu flickered around them both before Grimmjow came crashing down slamming Ichigo's body away from the attack.

Hichigo stood up, some hundred meters away, wiping blood away from his already healing cheek. "Not bad, I thought you'd stay down longer!"

Grimmjow was huffing and puffing, indeed, having taken a black Getsuga Tensho almost full force a few minutes ago. If it had hit him square he would have had a second scar to match the first one on his chest that Ichigo had given him.

They'd been "sparring" for almost an hour, and Hichigo showed no signs of tiring. Both Renji and Grimmjow were sweat soaked and slowing, while Hichigo seemed to only get faster. Was this the power that his orange headed friend had simmering under the surface? Why hadn't he exploded from this? This thing was a monster. Then to both their surprise he held up his hand and was charging a cero. Renji blocked with Zabimaru, and Grimjow blocked with his own cero, avoiding too much damage. From above they heard a voice.

"Yare, yare, you boys are loud! Have you worked off steam yet? Lunch is ready!"

Hichigo smirked and flash stepped out of the basement, leaving both Renji and Grimmjow shaking their heads.

"He wasn't even in bankai," Renji muttered. Grimmjow nodded slowly, noticing the same thing. "What is with that thing?"

Renji put away Zabimaru and headed toward the ladder, followed by Grimmjow. No wonder Grimmjow had struggled with the boy if he was at the same time trying to keep that beast under control. They headed up to find Hichigo stuffing his face hurriedly, as though the food was going to run off his plate.

"Easy there, Hichgo," Renji said, arching a brow. "Ya gonna choke if you keep that up."

Hichigo paused then closed his eyes, remembering. "Ya know, as annoying as fuckin' human food is, king missed the fuck outta it. It took a month before his body stopped expectin' any. That kinda hurt him, ya know, when he realized that."

He leaned back as the others sat down. "Imma gonna check on 'im. See if Zangetsu has made any progress. If not, I dunno what the fuck we're gonna do."

Hichigo got up and went into the bedroom he'd been in and closed the door slowly. He took a deep breath and sat down against the wall. "Come on king, don't give up," he muttered as he closed his eyes and sunk into their shared inner world.

Outside, Urahara jumped up and flipped on a switch, bringing a monitor to life that showed the interior of the room. He looked at the others, snapping his fan open.

"Motion sensing cameras. I want to observe anything that might happen after last time," he explained.

As it looked like Hichigo settled in, they resumed talking, until Urahara looked up, seeing Yourichi returning with Ikkaku, Soifon, and Yumichika tagging along.

"Yumichika-san, Ikkaku-san, Soifon-taichou!" announced Urahara with a grin and fanning himself vaguely as they entered.

"The head captain ordered us to make sure things weren't going badly," Soifon said tightly, unable to avoid glaring at Urahara.

"You mean to kill him if Ichigo doesn't regain control," Urahara said arching a brow behind his fan.

Grimmjow turned to the petite woman. "What? You mean, after all this, you'd just kill him?"

"He is a risk, the head captain knows this. We cannot allow a vasto lorde to run rampant in the world of the living, even if he is in the body of the substitute shinigami," Soifon said, glaring at Grimmjow.

Grimmjow's face was livid. "Look, I risked everything to drag him back to ya, gave up everything, and figured I'd have a death sentence either way, and you'd just kill him cuz he might be a risk?"

"Settle down, Grimmjow-kun," Urahara said. "Why don't you go sit with Hichigo in case he needs anything?" Grimmjow glowered at the small captain and then went to do as he had been asked.

"Your pets seem to be leashed well," Soifon muttered under her breath.

"Enough, Soifon," Yourichi said, her arms crossed staring at the small woman.

Soifon's breath hitched and she bowed to Yourichi. "Yourichi-sama, I apologize, I did not mean…"

"We know what your orders are, but we are going to hold off on any decisions until we have a chance to fix this. I've got an idea that might help, but I'm still working out the details. Mayuri has been helping me with it," Urahara said with a sigh. His old team member was so difficult since he'd taken his place as the head of twelfth division.

Then a scream woke them from their discussion, and they were all headed into the next room to see what the distress was.

-Ichigo's Inner World—

"Go away!" Ichigo spat at the white version of himself as he sat on the chair, his hands tied down the arms. It had be a safe way to tie him, having never been confined in this manner.

"Ichigo, ya gotta show some sign that it's you that don't want ta come out, or they're goin' ta think I'm lyin', and then who knows what they'll do!" Hichigo pleaded.

"Go the fuck away!" Ichigo repeated, turning his head away as far as he could.

Hichigo sighed and stood up looking at the always impassive Zangetsu. He had been arguing with him forever, it felt like. And he'd gotten nowhere. He thought for a moment then looked at Zangetsu.

"If I force him to the surface, what will happen?" he asked his darker counterpart.

"What, the fuck you are!" Ichigo burst out.

Zangetsu shook his head. "He may come back just as quickly, or he may stay there for a little while at least. It may be worth a try."

"No, you leave me alone!" he said as Hichigo grabbed him and lifted him from the chair after releasing the bindings on his arms.

"Time for a little ride, king," Hichigo said with a smirk and took off upward to the surface of his consciousness.

-Urahara Shoten—

Ichigo gasped, his eyes flying open and looking around. He was in his body. He wasn't in his inner world, and he started to panic. Then when a hand touched his shoulder he screamed, causing Grimmjow to jump back. He pulled away and scrambled to the furthest corner in the room as the door opened and Urahara was followed by Renji and Rukia while the rest stayed outside, still watching on the monitor.

"S-stay b-back," he muttered, hiding behind his hands. "G-get away…"

Renji moved forward slowly, carefully. "Ichigo? It's me, Renji, it's fine, you're fine, you're here at Urahara's shop."

Ichigo shook his head. "No I wanna go back, I wanna go back…"

Rukia kneeled down beside Renji now. "Come on, Ichigo, we're here for you, okay? Just come on and stay with us."

Ichigo stared at them, his once vivid brown eyes dull and lifeless almost. "No, I wanna go back, wanna go back, wanna go back," he kept repeating, rocking back and forth with his hands wrapped around his knees.

Then, he collapsed forward in a heap. A second passed then they heard his voice. "Fuck all!"

Hichigo sat up, his black and gold eyes flashing. He ground his teeth together and hit his head against the wall. "I got him out for a minute, but that ain't gonna work again. Banking on the shock value, ya know, but it was too much, he just couldn't do it."

Renji and Rukia both let out a deep sigh. Grimmjow snorted. "He certainly is fucked up, ain't he?" he asked to no one in particular. "I see fuckin' Aizen again, I'd like to rip out his throat."

"Wouldn't we all," Rukia said, surprising everyone.

Urahara smiled then. "Well the good news is my invention is ready to try out, if I can have a couple volunteers!"

"What is it?" Renji asked, glancing up.

Urahara smiled. "I'm going to hook two people up to Hichigo here, and use the connection between zanpakto to let him drag you into their inner world with Ichigo. Then, hopefully, you can coax him to come out again."

"I'll do it," both Renji and Grimmjow said at the same time, then glanced at each other.

"Great! Having one shinigami and one arrancar would be ideal since I do not know who will be more successful at navigating his inner world. Wait here with Hichigo-kun and I'll get the equipment ready in the next room!" Urahara said and practically bounced out of the room with glee.

"Scientists," Grimmjow and Renji said together shaking their heads.


	10. Chapter 10: His Sideways World

_A/N: Its some Hichixren time! I know outta nowhere. Our devout friends are trying to figure out to reach a shattered Ichigo and show him that what has happened was wrong. And what better way then proving that sex isn't just about dominance. LEMON warning._

* * *

**Chapter Ten**

**His Sideways World**

There was more than a small amount of tension in the room as Urahara led both Renji and Grimmjow to lay down beside Hichigo. Hichigo glanced back and forth between all three of them, then to the "audience" they had. Yumichika, Ikkaku, Rukia, Uryu, Inoue and Chad all stood at the other end of the room, fascinated.

"Fuck, man, buncha goddamned voyeurs," Hichigo muttered.

Urahara clapped to get his subjects' attention. "Okay this may take a couple tries to accomplish, so I may have to make some adjustments to the equipment. Renji, Grimmjow, this isn't safe for either of you. Ichigo's going to fight the intrusion, and I don't know what you'll see when you go in there. Hichigo, keep your temper in check as best you can."

The black and gold eyes rolled up into the face they all knew so well in a way that vaguely resembled the owner of the body.

"Whatever, coy bastard. Let's get it on," he said flopping his head back.

There were some wires and some electrodes and a bunch of chanting above him but Hichigo just wanted to get back into the inner world and see Ichigo again. He missed him and that stupid scowl.

It seemed like the world tilted and Hichigo stood in the familiar landscape, rain pouring and halfway submerged. Beside him, Grimmjow and Renji nearly stumbled realizing they were standing on the side of a building.

"Wha…" Renji said, looking around him. "We're sideways?"

Hichigo shrugged. "I'm used to this, except the goddamned rain. I hate the fucking rain."

"Why's it raining?" asked Grimmjow, unsure what exactly he was supposed to do here.

Hichigo began to walk the direction he'd left Ichigo and Zangetsu. "Fucking king, man, he gets depressed it fuckin' rains. And right now the damn place is about to drown in fuckin' water it's been raining so long."

Renji and Grimmjow exchanged a look. The very tops of the buildings emerged from the water, but there really weren't that many visible. They followed him as he slipped through the window into one of the buildings remaining above water. The two larger men followed the hollow, unsure what they would find.

Inside, the black clad Zangetsu stood against the wall and stared at them. "Who is this, Hichigo? Why have they come?" he asked the pale version of Ichigo.

"Tryin' to fuckin' help the king, whaddaya think, Zan," he said and looked around. "Where the fuck is he, I thought you had him tied up in here?"

Zangetsu shook his head. "He disappeared when he sensed the intrusion. I do not know where he has gone. But expect him to fight you every inch of the way, Hichigo. Be careful. I will not manifest for you, even here."

"Got it, ossan," Hichigo said, noting the lack of a sword at his hip. "Well, fuck, let's go find the bastard."

This time, when they exited the building, they were in Karakura Town, standing beside the water. The rain was pouring down and they heard the choking sobs of a child. Renji moved forward first, followed by the others.

"Really, king, yer doin' this?" Hichigo muttered.

There was a small boy leaning over a larger body with the trademark bright orange hair. He was crying, sobbing, against the blood caked woman below him. Renji kneeled beside him and the boy looked up, brown eyes flooded with thick sadness.

"She's dead!" the boy said, choking on the sob. "I wanted to help that girl, why did Mom die? Momm…" he moaned and buried his face in the bloody hair of the woman under him.

Renji reached out to touch the boy, tousling his wet orange hair gently. "Ichigo, it hurts, but let her go," he said softly, knowing too well the loss of those he loved.

The boy's face was a mask of complete terror as he jerked his head up and scrambled back from Renji, almost into Grimmjow's lap who had kneeled down behind him. At another touch he turned his head and screamed at Grimmjow's frowning face, but Grimmjow had the boy in a tight grip, arms wrapped around his chest securely as he struggled against him. Renji moved forward, the world around them shifting as the scene changed to an empty field, and the boy was bigger, now, older, still fighting Grimmjow's touch.

"Let me go, let me go," he screamed, fighting the large arms that held him in place.

"Ichigo, it's okay, it's me, Renji, no one is going to hurt you anymore!" Renji said, placing his hands on the boy's thrashing arms.

For a second the boy, who looked about twelve years old now stopped and looked up at him with clouded eyes. Renji was captured by the look that completely unbroken Ichigo. Though clouded his eyes were set with fury and danced brightly behind the clouded sheen. So he was still in there. He wasn't too far gone yet.

Then the boy screamed, and all three, even Hichigo, fell to their knees as they felt their heads about to explode. Then, with a gasp, all three sat up in Urahara's shop. Blinking they looked at each other.

"What happened?" Renji asked, pulling the cords off his head.

Urahara looked at his read outs. "It looks like he forced you out, but at least you aren't hurt."

"We encountered a child version of Ichigo, so maybe he wasn't so strong yet," muttered Renji, rubbing his head where a headache was blooming.

Hichigo stood up and stretched. "Well, I'm bored. I'm going out."

"What, you can't just do that, what if Aizen…" started Rukia.

He fixed her with the gold and black eyes and even Rukia felt the heat rolling off that stare. "Fuck Aizen. I'm goin' the fuck out and do something to piss the king off. Maybe he'll come out if I piss him off enough."

Urahara snapped his fan open. "Hichigo, are you sure that's a good idea? You can't go devouring souls or hollows around here."

Hichigo fixed the hat and clog wearing shop owner with a hot stare. "Fuck, getabishi, I know that. I'm gonna go find someone to fuck."

With that, they watched as Ichigo's body turned to leave. Renji reached out and grabbed him by the arm.

"Oi, red pineapple, you offering to be the bottom bitch?" he asked, an orange eyebrow raised.

Renji pulled his arm back like he was stung. "Wha-"

Hichig smiled, blinking his eyes seductively at him. "Hrm, king might not mind if it was you. Don't know how he'd react to being the one topping, though," he said thoughtfully.

"Hichigo, do you think engaging in such acts is going to help after what he's been through?" Urahara asked from behind his fan, hiding the fact that his cheeks had heated up.

"Not like I'm going to be letting someone tie me down and beat me or some twisted shit. If I put him in control, maybe his sorry ass will snap out of it. Pleasure without fuckin' pain, and shit," Hichigo said rolling his eyes. Honestly, not wanting to tell him his plan.

Urahara blinked, honestly surprised at the hollow before him. He'd thought of a plan to show Ichigo that what had happened was wrong and that it could be different.

"Look, king is a beta, okay, that means that he'll never fuckin' take control. So even if he were to fuckin' come out now and take over, he'd stay a mewling fuckin' mess for who knows how long. It don't matter if it was a fuckin' man or woman, they'd be the one makin' things happen. He'd still feel that way. So I thought I'd fuckin' take the chance while I'm in charge and make him feel somethin'," Hichigo said with a sigh.

"Okay. I'll do it."

Everyone turned to look at Renji. He was staring at the floor but looked up, a harsh blush going over his face. "I'll do it if you think it'll help 'im."

Rukia visibly blanched. "Renji, you can't just…that's…you're not…"

Renji gave her a crooked grin. "Wouldn't be the first time. And Ichigo'd be pissed at all of us if this bastard got something off a hooker."

The silence that followed was nearly too much for the red-haired shinigami. "Whatever, look, I don't talk about shit like that, but I've been around a few times, Rukia," he said, turning his eyes away.

"But…but…we…" she stammered, unable to really put a coherent thought together.

He sighed. "Rukia, really? Yer gonna give me flack about this now?"

"If you fuckers don't want a real show, get the fuck out," Hichigo said, already tossing off his shirt toward the side of the room, and unbuttoning his pants.

There was a mass exodus as everyone in the room seemed to try and move as fast as they could. Rukia leaving Renji with a concerned glance.

"It's okay Rukia, I'm fine," he said as the door slapped shut.

Hichigo had shucked all but the boxer shorts already and was sitting on the floor. He glanced behind him. Grimmjow had stood against the wall, remaining unmoving. He grinned at the espada.

"Oh, SEX-ta espada's gonna stick around and watch, eh?" Hichigo nearly purred.

Outside, Yumichika, Ikkaku, Urahara, and the others were all crammed into the kitchen with the first three around the monitor where they were watching intently what was happening in the room.

Rukia frowned. "What are you doing? Turn those off! You're recording this?" Her anger was apparent.

Urahara shooshed her. "I have to make sure Hichigo doesn't hurt Ichigo with this. We'll know if he can tolerate this very soon I'm sure. I'm watching the reiatsu patterns to see if he's in distress."

Rukia grudgingly nodded then stared at Ikkaku and Yumichika. "And you two?"

Yumichika smiled softly running a hand through his hair. "I think it's quite beautiful, those two together."

Ikkaku simply grinned and waved her off. "Go away, Rukia-san," he said, pushing her lightly.

"Wait, where's the arrancar?" she asked, realizing he wasn't in the room.

"He's still in there," Urahara said, hiding a faint blush as Hichigo stripped down to his undershorts.

"Well, red pineapple, let's see what ya got," Hichigo muttered, turning away from the voyeur in the room.

"But, Grimmjow," Renji stammered.

Hichigo shrugged his thin shoulders, now more muscle showing after the intense training he'd put himself through. "Let 'im watch."

Renji blushed this time at the thought of having someone witness what he was about to do. Its for Ichigo, he thought. Nothing else they were trying was working. It made sense to him, and HIchigo knew him better than anyone, being half of his soul. He, of course, had forgotten about the fact the rooms were recorded.

"Yeah, well it's been a while since…" Renji said, pulling his shirt over his head, revealing the sculpted abdominal and pectoral muscles striped with the tattoos that made him look like some sort of tribal god.

"Since you had a fuck, or since you were on the bottom?" asked Hichigo, quirking an eyebrow.

"Ah, second," he said tightly, standing over Hichigo with his hands set on his hips.

Hichigo nodded. "How long?"

Renji tilted his head in thought. "About thirty years, I think," he said thoughtfully.

"Yer an alpha, ain'tcha?" Hichigo purred. Renji quirked an eyebrow. "I can tell, the way ya move, the idea of being the bottom don't appeal like being tha one doin' the fuckin', eh?"

Renji shrugged. It was true, he wasn't too keen on this. The one time he had done it he really hadn't liked the feeling of being out of control under someone else's power. But he was willing to do it for Ichigo. To get him back out of the self-made hell inside his own head.

"Does it matter? Ichigo needs this, you said, or are you just fuckin' around with us all?" Renji asked, suddenly hot, thinking maybe this hollow was playing them all for fools.

Hichigo was taken aback a bit, not expecting him to react this way. Well, he should know he wasn't trusted, after all. "Look, ya don't have to fuckin' do this if ya don't want. But the kid's a fuckin' virgin. I thought he'd rather fuck someone he had feelin' for than someone he didn't know yet."

Renji lifted his head slowly and stared at the black and gold eyed creature in front of him. "Feelings? He has feelings for me?"

Hichigo sighed, growing impatient. "Yes, I wasn't fuckin' making shit up when I first showed up, ya know. He just don' know how to say it to ya, or anyone else. He's confused, and now he's even more confused. Fuckin' pain and pleasure, it's all one big fuckin' way to control him. He feels dirty, used, and he don't know how to fix it, so he's fuckin' hidin'. Now fuckin' shuck the pants, red."

Renji was on his back on the floor before he knew what happened. Hichigo was fast, and he was using that even in this. Even sex, it seemed, to this creature was like a battle. He captured Renji's mouth forcing his way into it with aggression that Renji hadn't ever mustered when kissing. His hands were seemingly everywhere, running over the nooks and crannies of his chest and sides with surprising gentleness. Before he knew it, Renji was letting out a whine. Hichigo's impatient hands were ripping the jeans down over his hips and Renji wondered just when he'd unbuttoned them. In a moment they had flipped positions, Renji over Hichigo now, pressing his lips with insistence on the side of his neck, nipping and licking the skin, and it smelled just like Ichigo. Part of his heart ached, knowing that it wasn't really Ichigo who was lying under him. And he really wished it was.

Against the wall, Grimmjow could barely continue his expression. He couldn't believe what he was watching right in front of him. He'd seen plenty of hollows rut, but this, there was something incredibly arousing about watching the two men writhe in front of him, a mass of arms, lips and teeth. He kneeled down and watched, his eyes never losing their contact on the two now mostly nude males before him.

Then once again they flipped positions, Renji's hands sliding into the waistband of the too big undershorts that the possessed kid was wearing. They slid effortlessly over the too thin hipbones revealing a much larger surprise for the red headed shinigami.

"I guess I forgot to say, king's got it all the right places, eh, feral boy?" Hichigo purred, his eyes practically burning with the gold in the center.

Renji growled deep in his throat grasping the newly released member, running fingers up and down, stopping to toy with the leaking tip. Hichigo arched his back, grinning manically.

"Um, yeah, thirty years…I think you had quite some practice…" Hichigo murmured leaning backwards, leaving his hips on the red head's belly and arching his back. In one fluid motion, without even sliding backward, he yanked the older shinigami's shorts off, baring his own weeping member to the whole of the world. Or just Grimmjow and the voyeuristic shinigami standing drooling over the monitor in the next room.

Renji's eyes widened at the amazing display of flexibility and strength the man who's cock he had a tight grip on displayed. How the hell did he just do that? It was like he had no backbone… Hichio grinned wickedly.

"You think that's somethin', wait til berry-boy is under ya, if we ever coax his ass out," Hichigo muttered. Renji felt a thrill shoot up his spine.

-Ichigo's Inner World-

Ichigo blinked, a slow thick blink, had he been dreaming or had he seen Renji and…and Grimmjow? What the hell were they doing here? No one could get to him here except Zangetsu and Hichigo. He was slightly disturbed by a barely contained moan that escaped his lips suddenly. He slapped his hand over his mouth. What the hell? He realized his whole body was on fire. Wait, was he back there again, was he doing those awful things again? No, no he didn't feel like he was. No, this was different. His heart wasn't clenched in fear. He felt a rush of pleasure go through him and he couldn't stop the moan from escaping again.

What was Hichigo doing?

Zangetsu stood a little off, watching Ichigo carefully. He had no problem intervening if this course of action was counterproductive like trying to restrain him had been. He was pleasantly surprised to see Ichigo confused, but not freaking out. So he wasn't so far closed off that he had cut himself off completely from the outside world. That was good, at least. That left some thread of hope. But this risky course of action that he had agreed with Hichigo on would either widen that thread of hope, or snap it completely.

Ichigo's head was on fire and spinning. He felt ghosts of touches, sending vibrations through his entire core. The building he was laying against seemed to have a little less water around it, and the sky had lightened, just a bit. He sat shakily, and let the sensations wash over him from the outside world. For the first time, though, there was no fear in the pleasure. No horror, no shame, nothing that made him want to curl into a ball and die. Then he let the outer world slowly come into focus so he could see, not just feel, the warm reiatsu and arms that was surrounding him. It felt, feral, primal, and it was flowing into him like a crushing torrent that soothed his tortured soul. There was no malice in this reaitsu, only deep warmth.

Those strange black and gold eyes were closed tightly, having fully seated himself into the warmth that Renji had willingly offered him. Renji's hands gripped him furiously and tightly, and Hichigo moaned into the man's red hair, waiting for him to adjust to him. Finally he laid his head back, Hichigo still clinging to his long red tresses, his eyes fully dialated. Hichigo grinned.

"Not too much for ya, red?" he purred.

"Fuck," Renji growled, "Fuckin' move, bastard."

His eyes were still shut when he felt the questioning presence inside him. Oh, maybe this would work, maybe, if even just a little. Hichigo knew that he was trying to see what was happening. This was his last shot at showing him that there were things beside pain and shame involved in the act of love. Oh god, thought the hollow. Here's the hollow's lessons on love…well, he after all didn't have a hollow hole, maybe he did have some heart in there somewhere.

"Renji," he moaned and opened his eyes locking with the dark eyes under him. "Ichi…go…coming…up…" he panted, thrusting himself into the man below him, his eyes sipping closed for a second. Renji arched back in a moan and then watched as the face above him changed, brows knitting in confusion, then those eyes opening to show brown eyes. He grinned at Ichigo, feeling him stop, his eyes wide and almost horrified.

"R-ren-j-ji…" he moaned just as he was overtaken by pleasure as Renji moved underneath him, bringing him to completion despite his shock at realizing he was on top of one of his closest friends, completely dominating and controlling him like he'd never imagined. Renji grinned, unable to last another moment. Ichigo flopped forward onto him and when he sat back up, Renji was staring at the familiar black and gold eyes.

Hichigo pulled away and rolled over on his back. "That was fuckin' good," he said with a sigh, black reiatsu flickering around him still.

Renji sat up. "I saw him and he saw me, did it work?"

Hichigo reached over and grabbed his pants, pulling them on. "We'll see. Scared the fuck outta him to see you like that, though."


	11. Chapter 11: Thread of Hope

_A/N: So sorry to do a double chapter again tonight, but I have GOT to get this story out of my head. Had some minor editing on chapters two and three, nothing major but here we go. Slipping into that broken world again. Warnings are sexual innuendo and descriptions of torture, etc. (And now I'm seeing all the typos, gah! Must sleep now, so will fix tomorrow!)  
_

* * *

**Chapter Eleven**

**Thread of Hope**

What was happening? Ichigo had retreated into the inner world as quickly as he'd come up to see what the hell his hollow half was doing. He was doing that, with Renji? His mind was racing. He'd often thought of Renji that way, those dark eyes, long red hair he longed to see released from his ever present hair tie, but it was all in his head. After what he'd done, after what Aizen had turned him into, why would anyone, let alone Renji, want anything to do with him?

He was a despicable, filthy creature. He'd broken, shattered, and he didn't want to even think of trying to piece himself back together, it would hurt too much. He'd let all this happen. Aizen had told him so many times. He hadn't resisted enough. He hadn't tried hard enough, and he wanted to be hurt. He longed for it. And when it stopped, he wanted it again. And that was the most disgusting feeling of all. Wanting those hands gripping his body, wanting those eyes staring down at him with lust and…hatred? He wasn't sure. He just wanted to escape, but even his inner world offered no sanctuary, becoming inaccessible once his reiatsu was sapped away and he couldn't reach his soul's other pieces.

Maybe that had been the worst part. Unable to touch Zangetsu and Hichigo. Unable to feel their comforting presence through the whole ordeal, he couldn't even have assurance that there was life beyond the white walls and pain of Aizen's touches. All he knew was he was locked into fear, pain and need. And he'd been abandoned by his friends.

Maybe that knowledge was what led him to the breaking point. When Aizen told him how long it had been, and how no one had come to his aid at all. It broke his heart more than a little to know it. It was then he didn't have to chain him up to keep him from leaving the room. He just gave up and wanted to die.

But why would Renji do that? Let Hichigo…and then let him know that he knew he was in there…why would he do something like that?

Ichigo shivered at the memory of that warm and thick reiatsu that was distinctly Renji flowed into him. It wasn't like the pressing, cold reiatsu that Aizen had forced him down with. Forced, Ichigo thought. Forced. He felt the difference. Could he be wrong? Could he really not be as dirty and disgusting as he thought for what he did? Had done to him? Which was it? He was so confused.

He pulled his black clad legs to his chest and rocked, barely noticing that his shihaso was almost fully replaced. That meant his reiatsu was healing, didn't it? How had that happened, he thought, his head a whirling mess of emotion and turmoil.

-Urahara Shoten—

Renji emerged from the room, tying up his hair and looking up to see everyone sitting around the tea room table avoiding his gaze.

"What?" Then he glanced over behind Urahara's back and remembered the monitors that displayed what was happening in the room he'd just emerged from. "Oh."

He shrugged and sauntered over and flopped down beside Yumichika and Ikkaku, both of which had a bemused, slight flush on their face. Renji dropped an arm around each of them.

"Ya enjoy the show?" he said with a quirked eybrow.

Urahara cleared his throat behind him. "Renji-san, I think now, while Ichigo's in…ah…flux would be a good time to attempt another foray into his inner world."

Renji stood up again, flinching as pain shot up his backside. Now he remembered why he rarely did that…

Grimmjow sat still where he had been watching the two alphas tangle. It had been awkward, neither one really submitting. But it had done something. He'd seen those big brown eyes open for even the slightest of moments in something other than fear. He shifted uncomfortably, quelling his own desires. He wanted to bring the orange haired boy back. The one with the fire in his eyes, and the unbelievably cocky attitude that didn't back down, the one who spent over three months of torture before he finally broke under Aizen's twisted ministrations. And he'd be damned if he didn't get that boy back. And tell him how absolutely hot his cockiness was.

Grimmjow looked up as Urahara and Renji came in again. Hichigo, positively blissed out after his romp with the red head laid back comfortably, not having bothered to replace his shirt. He grinned at Renji who rolled his eyes.

"Oi, Red, ya still able to walk, proud a'ya," he smirked.

Renji glowered at him. "Why you…"

Urahara put a hand on Renji's shoulder. "Yare, yare, settle down, let's try this again before Ichigo can resume his defenses. If nothing else, you may have shaken his foundation enough to allow you to stay in his inner world long enough to do some good. Now come," he said, getting Grimmjow to lay down on one side and Renji on the other.

Grimmjow grunted, and crossed his legs and lay on his side, hiding his obvious arousal at the events that had just taken place. He was going to ache after this. Renji locked eyes with Grimmjow over the form of the seemingly sleepy Hichigo. There was something in his eyes and Grimmjow recognized it. Determination to drag the orangette out of his fog and back into reality.

"Okay boys, try not and tear down anything Renji's…ah…sacrifice…built up," Urahara said with a grin. There was chanting and humming of machinery and once more the three opened their eyes to the sideways world.

Something was different though. The rain wasn't as heavy, the sky wasn't as dark, and the buildings were higher out of the water. Hichigo looked around appraising the situation. There was a flash and Zangetsu was beside them.

"He's confused, but the thread wasn't cut off as I had feared it might."

"Thread?" asked Renji, turning to the older figure.

Zangetsu nodded. "The act would either widen the small thread of hope connecting Ichigo to the surface world, or sever it completely. The attachment to the surface world is slightly stronger, but the thread is fraying at the edges, so it must be solidified before it breaks completely."

"Well, fuckin' hell, let's do this shit," the white version of Ichigo muttered flash stepping away, Grimmjow and Renji following a second later.

"He'll resist still, he can't help it," Zangetsu said, keeping pace easily beside them. "Don't stop, don't let him push you away. Hichigo and I are part of him, so we cannot possibly repair the damage. He controls us both, after all."

There was sickening spin as both Renji and Grimmjow lost their footing and were somewhere Grimmjow recognized immediately, and after a moment so did Renji. Las Noches.

There were screams from down the hall and a string of cuss words. They both recognized Ichigo's voice, and obviously unbroken at this time. They entered the room, unseen, to find a pink haired Szayel leaning over the boy bound to the surgical table. He was panting, blood leaking from a few punctures on his arms and chest.

"Fuck you!" he screamed, catching a breath. "Quit fucking stabbing me with that goddamned needle, teme!"

Szayel moved away, disappearing, leaving the panting shinigami alone for a moment. He returned just as quickly with a different instrument. It looked like a drill with a space at the end. Ichigo's eyes widened. "What the fuck is that?" he cried out.

Szayel sighed. "I'm sorry, Ichigo-chan, but this is really going to hurt. I need a marrow sample, and you've seemed to have built up a resistance to the drug I've been using to knock you out. I've given you as much as I can, but it doesn't seem to be effecting you like it should. I didn't want to do this while you were conscious, but this is the last one, I promise Ichigo-chan."

There was a buzzing sound as Szayel turned the device on and Ichigo began to squirm away from him. He put a hand on him, turning it off and grabbing another syringe from his table. "I'll give you this, it will paralyze you, maybe numb some of it, but I can't numb the bone," he said, injecting something into his arm. His body visibly relaxed, and he looked someone blissed out.

Szayel looked disturbed, and Grimmjow had never seen that pink haired freak look like that. He reached down and ran a hand over the boy's head.

"I'm sorry, Ichigo, but Aizen doesn't like what I've found. He's angry because he wanted so much more from you. I can't recreate what happened to you. I can't even understand it. And the tests, they show so much potential in you that it's ridiculous. The power you possess, even you can't fathom what it can do, and I tried, I really tried, but I couldn't keep it from him," Szayel leaned over and put his head against the semi-conscious boy's forehead. "He's going to break you, Ichigo, and that's a shame, but what I am going to do against the likes of him? I'm only octavo, nothing compared to the eight above me. He's making me come up with something after Gin's done tormenting you. I'll do what I can, but he'll know if I do too much. I'm sorry.

"Truly, for the first time in this miserable existence, I'm sorry. I doubt you'll remember this, what I'm saying, but I hope you do, somewhere, because what he has planned is terrible, and if I had the guts, I'd kill you on this table. But I can't do it. I can't just kill you."

The pink haired espada stepped back, sighing and turning on the drill-like device and pressed it against the boy's thigh and began the procedure. It wasn't long until he was done, and cleaning the blood and vomit afterward, Ichigo having screamed himself horse as the thing drilled into his bone. Szayel put the sample away and patched up the various wounds from testing his body, his fingers stopping to press against his sweaty face as he breathed heavily, winding away into unconsciousness finally.

The world spun sickeningly again, causing both Grimmjow and Renji to stumble, crashing to the floor. Quickly they gathered themselves up and started walking, just following the corridor they were in.

"That's why he let me go," Grimmjow said with a sigh.

"Huh?" Renji said looking up.

Grimmjow swallowed. "When I found him, I took him to Szayel, and he watched as I left through the garganta with him, never stopping me."

They heard screams again, this time peppered with a gentler voice laughing and talking around them. Both Grimmjow and Renji recognized that voice. Gin Ichimaru. There was a flash and they were standing in another room, Ichigo's body spread out, arms open to either side. Blood was flowing down his chest and back as Gin circled him. They noticed now and then Gin glancing up and back down to Ichigo.

Renji followed his gaze and saw a small black globe. "Monitoring device, Aizen watched this every time," Grimmjow provided. "Szayel didn't allow them in his lab, but Gin loved putting on a show for Aizen with that zanpakto of his."

"Fuck off, Gin, leave me alone," Ichigo said breathlessly. "I'm tired, how much more of this is there? Just fucking kill me."

"Ichi-kun, ah can't kill you!" Gin announced, leaning down and smiling foxlike at him, then whispering almost too low to be heard by the voyeurs in the room. "But ah do wish ah could do that fer ya. Sorry 'bout that, Ichi-kun."

There was another spinning sensation and they were still in the room. Only now, Ichigo was laying on the dirty mattress sleeping it would seem. The door opened and Szayel entered with a plate and glass. He slowly set them down beside the sleeping form. He sighed and injected him with something. Ichigo stirred sleepily and his brown eyes opened and stared at Szayel again, half aware.

"It'll keep you alive, but I wish I could fill it with poison. Aizen's taking you out of here tomorrow, Ichigo. I…I wish I could do something, but he watches everything. It's wrong, I know it, Gin knows it. We tried. But Aizen made sure to watch every move we've made, making sure we didn't slip up and 'accidently' kill you before he got to the last stage. Always a game with him, Ichigo, always a game. Stages. He's so angry that the research into you yielded no results. He even quit incursions into the world of the living. He wanted you to help him take the soul king's place, or at least use your power. But he can't, you're the only one that can use it, and it infuriates him. And gods help you, he's going to show you and soul society how angry he is."

"What are we watching?" Grimmjow asked quietly.

Renji stared. "This is stuff he doesn't remember, not really, he was half conscious. So he doesn't remember them saying these things. I think we've jogged it loose. Maybe Gin and Szayel trying to tell him that it wasn't his fault will help him in some way?"

It seemed time passed and Szayel came back again, this time with Ulquirro.

"Please hurry, I must return soon. This is not my idea of a thing that requires my attention," Ulquirro said, impassive as usual.

"I'm sorry, Ulquirro-san, but Aizen-sama does not want any of the more aggressive arrancar or espada interfering in this transfer," Szayel said, unhooking Ichigo and lifting him from the bed, his weight surprising.

"Why does Aizen-sama not simply kill this boy?" Ulquirro asked as they headed out of the room. In Szayel's arms, Ichigo moaned and rolled his head, his eyes half open. "It is beyond me why he does not."

"Some perverse pleasure," Szayel muttered, staring down into the sunken cheeks of the half starved boy.

Renji and Grimmjow followed, but they really didn't half to move, it seemed the world followed Ichigo at a blinding and sickening speed.

"Pleasure?" asked Ulquirro, pushing open a door almost identical to every other. Szayel entered and laid his bundle on the bed, securing wrists and ankles as Aizen had asked.

"Yeah, you know, gets his rocks off?" Szayel said with a frown at the utterly emotionless arrancar.

"As in sexual pleasure?" asked Ulquirro, tilting his head to the side. "I have participated in such acts before, but do not understand why Aizen-sama needs this particular boy for that purpose. There are many arrancar with which he could couple."

Szayel shook his head. "It's more than just sexual pleasure. He's his enemy, someone he's struck down; he wants to humiliate him in every sense of the word. You'd never understand, Ulquirro, so don't try."

Szayel leaned over, pulling a couple syringes from his leather satchel. He carefully administered each one. "What are those?" Ulquirro asked passively.

"One is a chemical Aizen wanted, to make the boy enjoy his torture. The other…is something I'm giving him to dull pain and clot blood faster," Szayel said with a sigh.

"Did Aizen-sama ask you to administer that one?" Ulquirro said, staring at the stirring body on the bed.

Szayel shook his head. "No, he didn't, but I'm trying to keep him alive, though I should really just kill him and suffer Aizen-sama's wrath."

Ulquirro looked over at him. "Why would you kill him if you should be keeping him alive for Aizen-sama?"

Szayel shook his head. "You wouldn't understand no matter how hard you tried, Ulquirro. I may be completely fucking insane, but some things shouldn't be done."

The world shifted again and they were staring at Ichigo. He was sitting on the floor in the room and Grimmjow recognized the scene all too well. Ulquirro was staring down at him, impassive as Ichigo writhed in pain, blood spreading out around him.

"Interesting," Ulquirro commented and turned and left.

Renji's breath hitched. He was seeing memories so he couldn't even interact. Ichigo finally tried to stand, his legs buckling, the shattered bones unable to support the weight of his body.

"I want to die," he moaned, beginning to sob. "How could they…leave me…like this…after everything, after I…gave…"

Around them a voice spoke, not in line with the things happening in the room, but it must have been Ichigo remembering. Both Renji and Grimmjow recognized the smooth silky sounds of Aizen's voice.

_Ichigo, they're not coming for you. You heard the head captain, he wouldn't help Inoue, you think he would help you? You're a monster, you're not worth saving. You're worthless now, look at you, mewling and begging me to touch you. What a little whore you've become… And they wouldn't want you now, who would want you now? I'm going to keep you here until you give up completely. Don't think I don't see that tiny spark in your eye. That tiny little sliver of hope that someone, anyone will save you. They aren't. And until that spark disappears, I won't let you die. Only when you've given up all hope, will I kill you and end this, Ichigo. Only then._

_You enjoy this, you crave my touch on your skin, how sick and twisted you must be down deep, Ichgo to like what I'm doing. I feel your breath and the shaking of your body. No, they would be so ashamed to see you like this. Once their strong and powerful protected, reduced to this writhing mass of…nothing. You're nothing now except my toy, my pet._

_They've always been afraid of you, my pet. That untamed and wild hollow inside you. They don't understand it. They fear it. And they'll always fear it. That's why they haven't come, you know. That way they don't have to kill you themselves, because they can't bring themselves to do in an ally. But they've abandoned you, it's been almost four months Ichigo, and not even a one has come to Heuco Mundo to even find out._

And then the world faded out and they were standing on one of the sky scrapers, the rain falling full force again, the sky almost black. And standing on the edge was Ichigo, screaming at the sky.

"How could they leave me?" he sobbed, dropping off the edge of the building.


	12. Chapter 12: The Depths of His Soul

_A/M: I'm going to apologize for the rough nature of this chapter, I am using my laptop (which I hate typing on) so there are no doubt plenty typos. But I couldn't get little boy Ichigo outta my head today, so here we go. Enjoy! Fluffiness and feels headed your way!_

**Chapter Twelve**

**The Depths of His Soul**

Not even really thinking about the fact they weren't in the real world, instead, in Ichigo's inner world, the sight of the orange head jumping off the edge of the building was enough to send the red head and blue head into motion, both flash stepping/sonidoing after him. Before long, they both had arms around the black clad form that was obviously no conscious of his surroundings at all. Renji held him by the right arm and Grimmjow by the left as they flashed back up to where they had been. They gently laid his form down and stared at each other.

"Why are you doing this for him?" Renji asked suddenly, locking eyes with the blue haired espada.

Grimmjow was slightly taken aback, and then realized why would this shinigami have any trust him? After what he'd just seen, the small taste of what his orange haired friend had gone through, how could he even think that he'd be trusted by these people? But he wasn't dead. That was something. Despite the gaping hollow hole in his belly and the broken mask on his face, they had been willing to let him help Ichigo. And he supposed that was something.

Grimmjow leaned over and brushed Ichigo's hair away from his face, looking down into his closed eyes. Why was he here? Why did he care about this shinigami? Was it because he was like him? Deep down, this boy, this shinigami, was more like Grimmjow than Aizen had ever been. There, below the surface of his soul, a hollow seethed, and unlike the shinigami, Grimmjow knew how hard it was to control a hollow force within your soul.

"Fuck if I know," Grimmjow muttered, then looked up at the red headed shinigami, who was staring at Ichigo in a similar way. "I mean, I…" Grimmjow didn't know what to say to him.

"I know why I'm here," Renji said. "I fought him, you know, almost killed him, and he almost killed me. And that fire that burned in his eyes when he refused to give up even when there was no way he should be standing. That refusal to back down. The lengths he went to, earning bankai in three days so he could face my taichou and not die, just to save Rukia's life."

Renji sat back on his heels, rubbing a hand over the tattoos on his forehead. "I've never met someone like him, that could make my blood boil and gain my respect so quickly. The barely restrained power, you know. And now, after meeting that hollow first hand….I can't imagine what he's gone through since he got dragged into the world of soul society."

Grimmjow nodded, understanding the redhead completely. "The fire," he muttered, earning a look from Renji. "That burning heat in his eyes, fuck. Where the hell has it gone?"

The world shuddered around them, then it shifted again, throwing even the seated Grimmjow and Renji off balance and to the floor. The stood at the wall around the seretai (sp). There were no guards, but no way to get in either. A sign hung on the wall written in sloppy black ink. "Stay out".

Grimmjow and Renji staggered to their feet and looked at each other. They sighed mutually, knowing that this meant there were defenses still to break through. It couldn't have been that easy. Grimmjow felt a tug at his shirt. He looked down to see a little orange haired boy, the same one that had been by the river crying over his dead mother.

"Mister?" he asked. "Have you seen my mom?"

Renji kneeled down beside them, and Grimmjow followed, not really knowing what to do with human children. It wasn't like most hollows cared for their young.

"Nah, kid, 'fraid I haven't," Grimmjow answered as the kid's brown eyes searched his face.

The boy frowned and looked at Renji then smiled. "I like your lines, mister!"

Renji smiled and reached out to ruffle the boy's hair. "Hey kid, you know how to get past that wall?"

The boy looked passed them at the menacing looking structure and he gave a sly grin. "If I show you, you promise not to tell anyone I told ya?"

Grimmjow and Renji exchanged a glance. "Of course," Renji answered.

The little boy clapped and a grin spread across his face. "I'm not s'posed ta know about it. Mom showed me a long time ago, but the monster can't find out I know. He might get mad at us."

"The monster?" Grimmjow asked.

The child Ichigo smiled proudly. "I'm not scared of him! Mom told me all about him, and I'm not scared at all. Mom said I couldn't be scared or he'd eat me up! I'm not gonna be eaten up by a monster, mister. Come on!" he said, taking one of Renji's hands with one small hand and Grimmjow's in the other, pulling them after him.

After a while they came to a small shack. When they entered it was Ichigo's house in the world of the living. There was an eerie quiet around the place, and everything was as Renji remembered it. Grimmjow looked at Renji with a confused look.

"Its Ichigo's house from the world of the living," he explained. Grimmjow nodded.

The boy ran around, arms out beside him, zooming like a plane happily. There was a sound and the boy stopped and grinned at them.

"You wanna see the monster?" he whispered excitedly.

Grimmjow and Renji frowned. "The monster is here?" asked Renji looking around the room.

The boy giggled excitedly. "Of course, where else would he be! Mom tied him up in the upstairs so he couldn't eat us up!"

They followed the boy up the stairs to what Renji knew was Ichigo's room. On the door hung a small plaque that read 15. The entered to see, to their surprise, Hichigo bound and gagged on the floor. He struggled wildly against the bindings and then looked up to see Renji and Grimmjow. He stopped then stared at the boy with pleading eyes, still unsettling no matter how many times Renji saw them.

"Can you take off his gag so he can talk?" Grimmjow asked the boy.

The kid looked thoughtful and looked around. "Okay but don't tell mom I did it."

He went over and removed the gag from the white version of Ichigo and stepped back grinning, very proud of himself. Hichigo glared at him for a minute and then at Renji and Grimmjow.

"About time you two got here," he muttered. "Where the fuck 'ave ya been?"

Renji shook his head. "Long story, what's happening?"

The small orange haired boy had taken to happily playing with some blocks that he found over to the side and humming a tune under his breath, ignoring the other three occupants of the room.

"His defenses are strengthening," Hichigo explained. "His mother came out and brought me here."

"His mom, how's that?" asked Grimmjow, quirking one blue eyebrow.

"Baka," muttered Hichigo rolling his eyes. "Its not really his mom, its Ichigo. King's defense is to push us away with the one he trusted tha most. He's retreated to when he was tha most happy."

"What the hell do we do now?" asked Renji, starting to get exasperated. They really didn't know how long they could stay before Ichigo regained enough composure to push them out like last time.

"Break through the walls," Hichigo said. "I can't do anything, I'm part of him, remember? Fuck, I'm lucky to be in one piece."

Grimmjow glanced at the small boy. "He said he knew a way through."

Hichigo looked up with wide eyes. "He did? Fuck, awesome. He wants you to get through, then. This might be not be so bad."

"Yo, kid," Grimmjow said, standing up and walking over to him. "Can ya show us how to get through the wall?"

The child looked up, his eyes positively glowing. "Ya!"

He hopped up and grabbed Grimmjow's hand. "Hurry, before mom gets home! She won't want me showing it to anyone!"

Renji followed, his look lingering on Hichigo. "Go, fuck, man, get this taken care of."

They followed the boy as he leaped and skipped in front of them, for all intents and purposes, a truly happy, joyful child. His orange hair caught the sun and seemed to glow. He hummed and laughed as he skipped, never a scowl to knit he brows together as he played. Eventually they came to a place where the wall was covered in greenery. He motioned both men over and pointed. There, among the green leaves and twisting vines was a thin opening. Red tinged black pulsed through the opening every few seconds.

"There," the boy breathed, a whisper escaping his lips. "If you go through when there's no black, you can get in. But don't touch that black stuff, it burns you."

"Ichigo!" a female voice called, and Ichigo's breath caught.

"Oh no, its mom, you hide in here," the boy said.

"Ichigo, where did you go now?" she asked. The boy ran out of the small area they were hiding in and grabbed the beautiful woman around the waist.

She reached down with the most loving look on her face. "There you are, what have you been up to?"

The boy looked up. "Playin' hide and seek and you found me! I'm hungry now, can we go home?"

The gentle woman smiled, ruffling the boy's hair. "Of course, lets go," she said and the boy gripped her hand like a lifeline. He glanced back over his shoulder and waved to Renji and Grimmjow and they saw the faintest wash of sadness in his eyes. Then they were gone.

"So how the fuck we getting' through this?" Grimmjow asked as the black pulsed out at them again.

Renji sighed. "We wait for it to clear, I guess…"

It didn't take long for them to notice the pattern. The black reaisu would pulse then recede for a few moments, then return for three pulses, then recede again. They knew the pattern, they could get through it with that knowledge. It took a couple tries, but finally, both men had slipped through the small opening, which surprisingly had grown to allow them entrance into the walled off area.

They entered and the place was empty. Except for Sokoyu hill, the only structure left. It was completely intact, the execution ground completely normal with the firey sokoyu activated before the massive execution structure. And hanging there, much as Rukia had once been, they saw their orange haired friend.

Both Grimmjow and Renji were off in a flash, though only Renji understood the underlying significance of the situation before him. The thing before them offered something that nothing else could offer, complete oblivion.

Soon enough, they each stood on top of the structure, one on either side of Ichigo's suspended body.

"Go away," he moaned. "I need oblivion."

"Ichigo, no you don't, you need to stop this. We want to help you," Renji said softly, placing a hand on the orange haired man's.

Beside them, the fires died down in the sokoyu. "What the fuck ya think yer doing, strawberry?" Grimmjow asked gruffly. "I break ya out of Las Noches and ya just wanna die on me?"

Ichigo looked up at the blue haired espada. "I…you shouldn't have."

Grimmjow reached down and grabbed Ichigo by the collar and hauled him up from his suspended position until he as holding him up over thin air. The world shifted again and now they stood on the ground, a light rain falling around them.

"Why? Why do all this for me?" he moaned, looking from one of the men to the other.

Grimmjow sighed and put him down and reached down and cupped the smaller man's face in a surpisingly gentle way. "Because I saw the fire in yer eyes, 'berry. I saw that burning desire that I've felt before. I thought I fuckin' hated you. I wanted to crush you every way there was. I wanted to put out that fuckin' arrogant ass light in yer eyes. You were lookin' down on me like you were better. That's what I thought. But I know it wasn't that. Ya never really wanted to fight. Not really. Ya were doin' what ya had to do."

Ichigo jerked away. "I like it, the fighting, I like it too much," he whispered. "I like the pain too much. I wanted to protect them, but I can't even protect myself."

"Ichigo!" the female voice rang out around them. "Ichigo, are you playing hide and seek again?"

Ichigo's eyes widened and both could tell he wanted to call out to her. Renji reached out and grabbed his chin and forced him to look at him.

"No, Ichigo, she's not real, she's you," he said, forcing those sad, empty brown eyes to look into his own dark eyes.

Ichigo jerked away. "What good am I?" he whispered. "She died protecting me, and then Inoue protected me and they took her, I don't want anyone else to get hurt because of me."

Grimmjow and Renji exchanged glances. "I'm worthless, I can't do this, I can't. The pain is too much. I'm a monster, I'm that monster, just like the one that killed her, I'll kill everyone around me one day…"

Ichigo sunk to his knees, staring up at the rapidly clouding sky. Renji and Grimmjow knew that it was now or never because if that sky clouded over again, they might lose him in the very depths of his soul among the pain, regret, guilt and shame.

Both of them dropped beside him, wrapping arms around him, firmly but gently, pulling him into a tight embrace, bringing a gasp out of him at the sudden pressure and warmth. The sky started to clear, slowly.

"Why?" he whispered. "Why are you here trying to do this? I wasn't worth saving before, why now?"

Renji felt his throat constrict painfully. "Ichigo, we were coming, we were on our way already. Aizen fucked with the time stream," he said into his right ear, nuzzeling into his neck.

"He's right, berry. Aizen did something to the way time flowed, and he did things ta ya to make you feel pleasure when you didn't want to," Grimmjow said softly. "I was there, I know what he did to ya. And it killed me inside. That's why I brought ya out even though I was dead most likely, by Aizen or the shinigami."

He didn't struggle. He just sat there being held. Being held with warmth not associated with pain. Being held by arms that weren't trying to hurt him. Then the tears hit him. And he would have fallen forward to the ground if not for the twin sets of arms holding him upright as he sat there. Gasping sobs escaped him as the clouds had finally lifted in his stormy inner world. A few moments went by and his sobs hadn't stopped. Renji heard a sonido and a shunpo. He glanced up to see both Hichigo and Zangetsu standing behind them. Both reached out and put a hand gently on the sobbing boy's head.

"We were always here," Hichigo said softly, running his black nailed hand through his orange hair. "We saw it all, king. You haven't been listening to me. He drugged ya, he hurt ya, and he lied to ya. He took ya away from us so we couldn't help ya."

"I was so weak," Ichigo sobbed out, and felt the strong arms around him tighten seemingly exponentially.

Zangetsu, impassive as ever, continued to rub the boy's head. "You were not weak, Ichigo. You were very strong. But even the strongest tree can be broken, and the strongest sword can be shattered."

"Please, 'berry," Grimmjow said, his head against the orange haired boy's chest. "Come back, and let us all help you with this. You can't hide here forever."

There was movement and they all saw the beautiful form of the boy's mother walk up and kneel before her broken child. She smiled, her big eyes brightening and emanating warmth and love. "Its time to stop playing hide and seek, Ichigo. You've been found. Now open your eyes."

Grimmjow and Renji both sat bolt upright on the floor, greeted by beeping and the intent gazes of the people in the room. Urahara leaned over and waited a moment. "Well?"

There was a soft moan from beside them and both Renji and Grimmjow's hands shot out, hoping that when those eyes opened they were brown. And that the hollowness and emptiness was gone from them, even if just a tiny bit.

Grimmjow cupped a hand around his face, while Renji grasped his upper arm.

"Berry?" Grimmjow said softly. "Are you there?"

Ichigo's eyes fluttered a second before they opened revealing deep chocolate instead of the black and gold they had feared. Grimmjow grinned, and Renji wrapped arms around him tightly. Urahara quickly moved and waved the others out of the room, several protests as he did so, especially from Rukia and Inoue.

"Hey, welcome back," Grimmjow murmured. The feeling that washed over the espada was euphoric as he saw the spark, tiny that it was, flicker in those brown eyes. Still empty and hollow for the most part, but the spark was there. Just barely. But it was there.

Renji placed a gentle kiss on Ichigo's cheek and the orange haired boy turned to the redhead. "Renji," he whispered. "You…"

Renji smiled. "Yeah, me. Don't expect that to be repeated the same way, Ichi."

Ichigo flushed bright red as he realized what Renji said.

Then, everything seemed to be crushing him, and Ichigo's eyes closed. Grimmjow and Renji both let their reiatsu flow outward and over him, and underneath their hands he fell into a deep, and thankfully dreamless, sleep.


	13. Chapter 13: Fractured Mask

_A/N: Okay so here's a new element. Enjoy some fluffy healing action folks. My aim is to get two chappies out a day on this until I'm done._

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen**

**Fractured Mask**

Grimmjow yawned and lazily got up, twinging because he hadn't moved in his sleep all night. He stared down at the two that still lay on the pallet. Renji's right arm was curled around Ichigo's waist, and the other snuggled under his own head. Grimmjow's left arm was numb since he'd had it underneath Ichigo all night. He stumbled his way to the bathroom trying to get feeling back in the corners of his body. Damn, he could use a shower, he thought proceeding to strip off his clothes and step under the hot water. He groaned as the water ran over his unfulfilled desire. Man, this was tough. But it was worth it to see those brown eyes flutter open and see that the fire wasn't completely gone. He took a few extra minutes in the shower to deal with his bulging issue so as to not give Ichigo the wrong idea about why he was here. He didn't think he could handle the look again that he had given him when he expected him too to do that…

He shuddered, then shut off the water. He heard a distinct "thunk" though before he left the shower. The hell? He thought and reached down to pick up…a piece of his mask? It was small but it was very definitely a piece of his mask. He stepped out and stared in the mirror. And there, right at the bottom, a chunk had fallen off. He looked down at the piece in his hand and held it up to the point it had fallen from, and it fit perfectly.

He scrambled, drying off and then grabbing his clothes as he rushed into the tea room where Urahara was sitting having some tea. It was late, well after noon, but it was to expected that they'd sleep late after the day before.

"Urahara, fuck, man what the hell is happening to me?" he asked dropping down beside the shinigami.

The hat clad man frowned and looked at the white bone in Grimmjow's hand. He looked up, brows knitted.

"Grimmjow-kun, is that from your mask?" he asked.

Grimmjow grunted, rolling his cyan eyes. "Where else, you dumbfuck? Why? How, even?"

"You are sure you sustained no injury?" he asked, taking the smooth piece of bone into his hand, turning it over. "No, there's no reiatsu signature in this bone any longer. It is as it seems, a plain piece of bone."

Urahara stood and went to another room leaving Grimmjow with his thoughts. His mask was breaking? What did that mean? The mask of a hollow was there to protect it, but the Arrancar were different, their masks were broken. What would happen if he lost his mask completely…

He felt a hand on his back and jumped, looking up at the red haired Shinigami. He arched a brow at him before sitting down. "What is it?"

Grimmjow touched the jut of bone on his face. "Piece a'my mask fell off."

Renji sat back, surprised. "What? That's not something that usually happens, is it?"

"Nah, man, it don't happen like this. Our mask cracks before we are arrancar, taking us closer to shinigami and further from hollow. But unless something big happens, the mask don't break again," he said thoughtfully.

Urahara came back in and snapped his fan open as he quickly sat down. "Grimmjow-kun, your reiatsu pattern is in flux for some reason."

"Wha?" he asked, looking between the two shinigami. "Wha…how the hell is that possible?"

Urahara sighed. "I don't know right now, but it started last night after you returned from your foray to coax Ichigo-kun out of his inner world. Since then it is has been fluctuating according to my readings. I'm not sure, but it's almost like you're becoming closer to what Ichigo is, a vizard, instead of an Arrancar. At least your reiatsu signature is."

Grimmjow started to say something but they felt a flare of reiatsu from the room where Ichigo was sleeping. All three were in the room in a second to see Ichigo's body sitting up but his eyes were black and gold again.

"Hichigo?" Renji said. "What the hell, did he go back?"

Hichigo shook his head. "Nah, he's sleeping, che, he's fine. Well he's not fuckin' fine, but you know what I mean. I just wanted to make sure you two fuckers hadn't run the fuck off."

Both Grimmjow and Renji rolled their eyes at the hollow. "What? After the fuckin' time we've had the last few months, I ain't riskin' shit right now. You fuckin' can't just leave him alone yet."

Renji frowned. "You mean he still…"

"What the fuck you think, baka?" Hichigo snarled. "He ain't over it by a long fuckin' shot, and if you leave him alone he might fuckin' do it still. Now unless you fucks are going to stick the fuck around, I can't let him be king, ya understand?"

Renji and Grimmjow exchanged glances, knowing that he was right. It had been stupid for both of them to leave the room, even with the recording and Ichigo sleeping. The chance he was still going to fall into suicidal thoughts was too great, especially now that his reiatsu was healing and his power was gradually returning to him.

"Yeah, we got it, now go on and let 'im fuckin' sleep," Grimmjow growled. "I'll stay first while Urahara tries to figure why the fuck my mask is falling apart."

Hichigo nodded, and laid back down, eyes slipping closed and the reiatsu calming around him. Grimmjow sighed, laying down on his back beside him.

"Man, yer so much fuckin work," he muttered as Urahara and Renji left the room.

Renji and Urahara returned to the tea room, met now by a bleary eyed Rukia. She'd stayed up well into the night watching the trio sleep.

"Rukia, hey, how are you today?" Renji said, flopping down beside her comfortably. She fixed him with an awkward glare. "What?" he responded.

"I can't believe you…let…and…" she stammered, staring at her teacup.

Renji frowned as Yumichika and Ikkaku sauntered in the room. "Yer still worked up over that?"

Ikkaku and Yumichika smiled shyly at Renji and stared at their own teacups, carefully avoiding their red haired companion's eyes.

"Okay, how many a'ya were freakin' watchin' the whole damn time, anyway?" he asked, honestly curious.

Yumichika giggled girlishly. "It was beautiful, to be honest. Very beautiful."

Renji smirked. "Glad ta see ya approve, peacock."

"How can you be so…so….like it was nothing, no big deal that you let him have sex with you in there, and you knew we could see it!" Rukia spat out, her face colored red.

Renji's brows shot up. "It ain't like I haven't done that before. What bothers you more, that I did it with Ichigo's body, or that I did it with another man?"

Rukia stammered for a moment. "No, that you did it like it didn't mean anything!" she said finally, flustered.

Renji's heart sank, finally getting what she meant. She felt like their time together didn't mean anything. Like it had just been sex, no deeper meaning.

"Rukia, it's not that it didn't mean anything. I'm…I'm trying to keep my mind off the fact it wasn't really Ichigo. What we did, we did without his consent, even though Hichigo was willing, and I was willing, I still feel like it was wrong on some level. It worked, though, and we got through to him, but still, I…I am tryin' ta get through it, okay?" he said finally looking up wither. "I've never been with someone who didn't mean the world to me."

Rukia was silent, spinning her cup between her hands, and she was truly sorry for what she had just said. She hadn't thought about it that way. She hadn't thought about the fact that Renji might have real feelings for Ichigo, and that what he had done went far beyond what he was showing on the surface. Renji shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Besides, I'm not a fan of the aftermath of that, so don't think they'll be a repeat performance anytime soon," he said, dropping a wink at Yumichika.

The group dissolved into giggles as Urahara returned with a tray of snacks. "Well, everyone seems upbeat today except Hichigo. But we still have the issue about our dear espada in there. Why is he losing pieces of bone from his mask like that?"

They sat down, snacking and discussing the possible reasons and what the implications of his changing reiatsu signature could mean. They didn't know enough about arrancar physiology. Was this natural, or was something happening to the sexta espada?

-Las Noches—

"Barragan is on, his fraccion are ready," the pink haired scientist said into the ear of the fox faced man as he brushed past him.

Ever since Grimmjow had disappeared with Ichigo, Aizen had been intolerable. And the top three espada were going to deal with it, with the help of octavo and Gin Ichimaru. Aizen had been distracted by his fury and it had allowed a lot of things to go unnoticed around him. His plans were starting to crumble, and even his multiple back up plans. He'd lost Ichigo, which wouldn't have been the biggest loss except he'd lost one of his espada along with him. The Hogyuku was seemingly fighting him, and the last three arrancar he'd tried to make had been damaged and he destroyed them.

And now there was about to be a full coup in his own base. Barragan was taking back Las Noches, and even the primera espada seemed tired of everything, or perhaps he was simply tired. He slept a lot, after all. Grimmjow had gotten away, and they all knew what that meant. It meant that Aizen wasn't all powerful. It meant that he could be beaten. So, slowly, behind the curtains, with the help of Szayel and Gin, things had started coming together. The espada of madness giggled in glee in his laboratory at the thought of the mayhem that was about to break out in all parts of Las Noches. Aizen had missed the threat of inside forces because of focusing on outside forces. He never thought that his loyal arrancar would turn on him.

So it was that began the coup in Heuco Mundo.

-Soul Society—

"Yes, Mayuri, I'm sure. His mask is falling off on its own. What does this mean exactly? Is he becoming more shinigami and less hollow? Because according to these reaisu signatures, that's what exactly is happening," Urahara Kisuke's voice said from the small screen.

"Yes, I see that," the scientist said looking over readings.

"Something is changing the arrancar? Do you think it an effect of the hogyuku that we didn't excpect?" Urahara asked.

Kurotski snorted. "Possible. There's something happening in Hueco Mundo too, the readings have been wild, and we've detected garganta on and off."

"Is Aizen losing control over what he created?" Urahara asked slowly. If the other Arrancar were changing like Grimmjow was…

"I have more tests, Urahara, be gone," the eccentric scientist said and proceeded to dive into the readings to find out what exactly was happening. He really wished they had let him have the espada that had been left with Urahara. Live test subjects were so much more useful.

-Urahara Shoten—

Ichigo groaned in his sleep. His eyes started to flutter open but he shut them tight, muttering a curse under his breath at the bright light. He felt someone nearby, someone very warm and he really, really needed warmth right now, warmth to spread throughout his body and soul, so he soundlessly snuggled into the warmth, sighing against it. Then he opened his eyes slowly and realized his face was buried in someone's chest, and there were arms around him, holding him in place. Holding. Keeping him from moving. Holding him down. He suddenly kicked out and pushed with all his force, eliciting a oof out of the body he'd been laying against.

"Fuck, Berry, one minute yer snugglin' up to me like a kitten, then trying to kick my nuts in the next, what the fuck?" a growly voice said.

Ichigo scrambled away into the corner. No, no, no, what the hell, this wasn't his inner world, where the hell was he?

_King, settle down, I'm here,_ the voice in his mind said, surprisingly soothing. _Yer fine, come on, settle the fuck down._

He had moved to the furthest corner of the room and had pulled his body into a protective ball, his face pressed into his knees as he rocked back and forth silently. He wanted go back to his inner world, he didn't want to be out here.

_No, fuck you, king. Yer not comin' back yet. Yer fuckin' dealing with this shit. I'm tired of the fuckin' rain._

Ichigo's breathing slowed and he looked up slowly to find himself staring into large cyan blue eyes that reflected genuine concern for him. What? Then it came back. What he and Renji had done, risking to come into his messed up inner world to pull him out. Apparently it had worked. The door slid open and he saw too many faces, way too many faces, and he buried his head in his knees again, shaken visibly.

"No, stay out," Grimmjow said. "Renji, you stay, the rest of ya go. He can't take everyone right now."

Urahara nodded and ushered the other three shinigami from the room. He heard the sound of Inoue calling from the front of the shop. He was sure he sensed both Uryu and Chad with her. The shop was getting crowded already, and it wasn't even two o'clock yet.

Slowly, Ichigo lifted his head to look between Renji and Grimmjow, his heart pounding in his head. Every nerve wanted him to retreat back into safety but Hichigo wasn't letting him do that. Neither Grimmjow nor Renji looked annoyed and they let him take his time gathering his wits.

"S-s-sorry," he whispered, looking at Grimmjow. "F-for earlier."

Grimmjow gave him a crooked smirk. "Ah, yer kicks are little to weak still, Berry. We haven't got yer muscles built up yet after that fucker starved ya."

Ichigo nodded slowly. Everything came crashing into him at once, it seemed and he gasped and buried his face again. "God let me die, please," he muttered.

"Don't you fuckin' say that," Renji growled, surprising Ichigo. He snapped his head up to look at the barely restrained fury in the red headed shinigami's eyes.

"Why not?" Ichigo snapped back. "What the fuck do I want to live for, anyway? Nightmares? Memories? I can barely look at you without freezing and I don't know fucking why!"

"Calm down, Ichigo, it's okay, it is, we're going to help you, okay?" Renji said, reaching out to touch his shoulder, snatching back his hand and Ichigo flinched, ever so slightly, but still flinched.

"Why should I believe you? You left me."

The words cut through Renji like a knife. He swallowed, unsure how anything he said right now was going to do anything but make things worse. Grimmjow, reached out and grabbed his face an turned it towards him, ignoring the flinch at his touch.

"Dammit, Berry, they didn't abandon ya. Fuckin' Aizen told ya that shit. Fuckin' Aizen messed with shit and time flowed different. It was four fuckin' days here. Four days, dammit. They were about to come lookin' for ya when I came through the garganta with ya," he said, forcing him to look him in the eyes.

Ichigo's lip trembled then. Just slightly, but enough for both men to catch. "Th-they were coming?"

"Of course, we were coming, dammit Ichi, we weren't going to leave you with that maniac! Even the head captain had agreed to it this time!" Renji said, reaching out and placing a hand on his shoulder.

This time he didn't flinch away. This time he stared at his knees, tears spilling over onto his pants in a sudden torrent. His chest heaved as though he had just remembered how to breathe again. They hadn't left him. They hadn't abandoned him. They hadn't deemed him monstrous and better off dead. But still in the back of his mind whispered that they were lying to him. That they just wanted to get something from him. But they were lying.

Ichigo shook his head furiously. They wouldn't lie. Not Renji. No, he wouldn't lie to him, he was his friend. But that damned voice. It kept mumbling on about how he had no real friends here. That Renji didn't care about him, not really

"I don't know, I don't know," he muttered shaking his head. "What's truth and what's lies? I can't tell anymore, I can't tell…"

He felt sudden warmth on either side of him as Renji pressed in between him and the corner he was sitting in and wrapped his strong arms around his waist. Ichigo gasped and then Grimmjow was on the other side of him, his arms wrapped around his shoulders. He shivered at the touch, but he felt the warm mix of wild, nearly feral reaitsu rolling off of the, soothing him.

"Berry, we're here, and we're true. No one here is gonna lie to you," Grimmjow said softly from beside him. Ichigo looked up, realizing something was different.

"Grimmjow? What happened to your mask?" he asked, reaching his hand up and touching the now uncovered right side of his jawline.

Grimmjow shook his head, something warm washing over him that he was unfamiliar with. "Does it matter, Berry?"


	14. Chapter 14: Breaking the Dam

_A/N: Okay this one was a little rushed, but I'm wanting to get to the more...ah..fun parts of the ending of this story. Its looking more like 20 chapters now, so we'll see how it goes. My goal is two chapters a day until I'm done. I'm still trying to work with Rainfall Sunshine, a chapter a day. But that one need some editing before I move forward with it. Again, I apologize for the rough draftish nature of this chapter, I'm stuck in bed with a pulled muscle on my laptop. _

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**Chapter Fourteen**

**Breaking the Dam**

Sometime later, Urahara entered the room. He smiled softly to himself as he adjusted the equipment to make sure the reiatsu signatures were reading correctly. In the corner of the room, the three vibrant haired males sat together. Ichigo was tightly sandwiched between the blue haired arrancar and the red haired shinigami, and Urahara thought it was strangely appropriate since Ichigo seemed to be the bridge between those two worlds. The soft expression of contentment was not lost on the older shinigami, and he felt his heart clench again. He rarely saw such an expression on those normally scowling features. Then he realized something. The arrancar's mask was completely gone. Not a trace of it remained on what now looked very much like a normal face. His hollow hole was still in place.

Urahara stared thoughtfully. What if…what if Aizen wasn't as in control over the hogyuku as he thought he was? It was Urahara's invention after all. It had a sentience, a will of its own. What if…what if it still recognized the will of the one who made it? The last time he'd used the hogyuku had been to stabilize the vizard, to stop them from turning into hollows. Could the last vestiges of his will have stayed imprinted on the thing?

There was a knock at the door and he recognized Hyori and Shinji. He headed into the front and let the two vizard in.

"How is he?" Shinji asked, his face having lost his typical grin.

Urahara shook his head. "I don't know. His hollow has gone back, and Ichigo's taken over, but the hollow has sworn that if he tries to kill himself again, he'll push Ichigo down again. And I don't think he will resist if he does. It is taking everything for the hollow to keep him from retreating to his inner world again."

"Stupid asshole," Hiyori muttered under her breath crossing her arms. Shinji sighed. "What's he thinking?"

"Hiyori-san, I know how you feel, but Ichigo is doing his best, given his circumstances," Urahara said softly to his previous fuku-taichou.

"But why? Why is he being like this? Torture ain't that bad, I've seen him fight, Kisuke, how could Aizen have broken him so easily?" Hiyori asked. Of course, her and Shinji didn't know everything yet, Urahara had just gotten ahold of them to tell them that Ichigo had been returned to them.

There was a silence. "If only it had just been torture, Hiyori-san."

Shinji and Hiyori exchanged glances. "What do you mean, Kisuke?"

Urahara laid his fan down on the table. "He spent four months with Aizen. Aizen shattered everything he was in that time so much that if Grimmjow hadn't defected and come here with him, he would have died."

"So? I've seen him get more pissed the more hurt he was. He should have still be trying to tear Aizen limb from limb…" she started feeling Shinji put a hand on her arm.

"Hiyori, you aren't listening to Urahara-san."

Urahara nodded, and motioned them all to the back where the screens were set up. "It may be easier if you just hear what the hollow had to tell us."

Urahara returned to the table, having watched too many times. He tuned out the soft sounds behind him and continued to think on the problem at hand of the arrancar's sudden transformation. Why was he becoming closer to a shinigami? Why was his reiatsu signature turning into something closer to a vizard than a hollow alone? His mind came back to the hogyuku. Could the blasted thing still recognize his creator as master? Even after the two halves had come together?

He looked up from his thoughts as the two vizards sat down again. Hiyori was silent and Shinji was rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Why?" Shinji asked.

Urahara sighed. "Grimmjow seems to think out of frustration because he attempted to test him and found nothing and a need to send a message to soul society that he could break even the strongest weapon they had against him."

"Are you sure we can trust this Grimmjow?" Hiyori asked, fire brewing in her eyes. "I mean, he tried to kill Ichigo and now he says he's trying to help him?"

"Fuck, you guys are so fuckin' noisy," a voice came from behind them. They looked up to see the blue haired espada, a scowl gracing his blue brows.

Hiyori fixed him with a glare and Shinji just frowned. "I thought you had a mask on your jaw," Shinji said finally.

The arrancar reached up and felt along his jawline where the jawbone was gone. He arched a blue brow and shrugged. "Fuckin' thing started falling apart yesterday. No fuckin' idea why. Rest of it disappeared at some point while I was dealing with Orange-berry."

Both Shinji and Hiyori frowned and glanced back to Urahara who suddenly snapped his fan open in front of his face, hiding a grin at the pet name Grimmjow had given Ichigo. No more Kurosaki or shinigami, it seemed.

"I left Red with 'im, both of 'em are lazy fuckers, but I'm fuckin' starving. Got anything?" he asked, flopping down unceremoniously beside Hiyori.

"Of course, Grimmjow-kun, give me a minute," Urahara said as he got up and headed into the kitchen to prepare a light brunch.

Hiyori stared at him. "Why are you here?"

Grimmjow rolled his cyan eyes at her. "Why are you here, bitch?"

Shinji grabbed her as she started to lunge at the espada, who didn't even flinch. "Hiyori, he's Urahara-san's guest, remember, we can't be fighting in the shoten."

"Yeah, Hiyori," Grimmjow said smugly. "No fighting here."

Grimmjow thought her head was going to explode. "Yer the one who was helping train him to deal with that hollow a'his weren't you?"

The change in subject seemed to calm the volatile female, and Shinji let her go. "Yeah, but you showed up and he didn't finish his training before he ended up running off half cocked into Las Noches."

Was he mistaken, or did Shinji see a vague sheen of guilt wash over the espada's face? Just then, Urahara returned with a plate of various sushi, sashimi, and rice. They ate quietly, and watched amused as Grimmjow carefully set aside two portions on separate plates.

"Grimm-fuckin'-jow, I gotta piss!" came a call from the next room. Grimmjow rolled his eyes, taking one plate and leaving the other.

"Hold yer horses, Red," he said, standing and heading into the next room.

Renji darted out and into the bathroom. A few seconds later he came and flopped down in the seat the arrancar had just vacated, grinning at the plate of food before him. "Damn, I'm hungry!"

He then looked up realizing he was being watched by two people he hadn't really met yet. His face blushed slightly.

"Abarai-kun, this is Shinji and Hiyori, the vizard I told you about who were training Ichigo-san before you all left for Heuco Mundo," Urahara said, motioning at them with his fan. Renji nodded, diving into his food.

"What the hell is going on here?" Hiyori asked. "You're sleeping in the same room with the arrancar? You're a shinigami, what the hell? And aren't you the fuku-taichou of sixth?"

Renji's face colored again. "It's complicated, Hiyori, was it?" She nodded. "We went into Ichigo's inner world to retrieve him, and it took both of us to do it. Now Ichigo doesn't want anyone else around, so we're taking turns sitting with him so he doesn't do anything…drastic."

Hiyori frowned and crossed her arms again. Then she stood up and headed to the room where Ichigo was with the arrancar. Urahara started to protest, but seeing the look on his former subordinate's face, he knew that he wasn't going to stop her. Well, seeing for herself was perhaps the best thing after all.

She flung the door open with a snap and stared at Ichigo and Grimmjow who sat on the far side of the room. Hiyori's face was a mask of barely restrained fury as she looked between the two. Ichigo was awake, the plate of partially eaten food in front of him on the floor, his back firmly wedged into the corner of the room. Grimmjow sat a few feet away leaning against the wall, looking thoughtfully around as Hiyori burst in.

"Ichigo, fuck, what is wrong with you?" she yelled, and instantly regretted it. His eyes widened and there was a flash of reiatsu, his head dropping forward. When he raised his head, his eyes were black and gold again.

"Dammit to hell, you fiendish woman!" came the alien voice from Ichigo's lips. Beside him, Grimmjow groaned. Not again.

"Fuck, you know how hard it is to keep his stupid ass from retreating into the fuckin' inner world!" Hichigo snarled, standing up.

By now, Shinji, Urahara and Renji had come into the room. Renji fixed Hiyori with a dagger slinging stare before looking at Hichigo.

"Don't worry, he's not fuckin' far. Zangetsu is holding him just below the surface, but its getting fucking harder the more his reiatsu comes back. I'll force him back, I just wanted to fuckin' see who the hell was tryin' to fuck with all the fuckin' hard work I put into keeping his dumb ass in control," Hichigo said, standing up and glaring at Hiyori. "I fuckin' know you. Yer one of those little bitches I had to tangle with on the outside while king and I were beatin' the shit outta each other inside."

Hiyori and Shinji both exchanged glances, having seen Ichigo in his full transformation into the lizard-like hollow. "Well, you weren't exactly the best looking hollow I'd seen," she muttered.

"Fuck bitch, yer lucky I didn't go all out on yer ass. You didn't see my bad ass vasto lorde transformation, sweetheart," he said snorting.

He sat down with a frump, ignoring the others. He scarfed the rest of the food down and looked to them. "Get the fuck out before I push his stubborn ass back to the surface."

Urahara ushered Hiyori and Shinji from the room and motioned to the monitors. "I record everything in there, you can watch what happens from here."

Curiousity welling, they stood and watched.

Hichigo rolled his head. "Aight, king. Yer coming back."

_Fuck you._

"Fuck you, king, ya ain't got no choice here. As much as I hate the fuckin' rain, it ain't gonna stop until you sort this the fuck out," he responded out loud.

He closed his eyes, and started to stumble, caught deftly by Renji as he did. Ichigo's breath caught as he looked up and around, starting to struggle against the arms. Renji just held him tighter.

"Come on, you're fine, Ichigo," he said softly, but Ichigo managed to pull away and stumble backwards, right into Grimmjow's arms.

He looked up, his eyes wild and flashing with fear and anger, locking with the blue eyed espada. His breath hitched, everything washing over him as he squeaked, struggling madly for a moment.

"Settle the fuck down, berry," Grimmjow growled above him, deciding to use every bit of alpha instinct to get him to stop struggling. With a strangled cry he stopped and leaned into him going mostly limp.

Renji moved up in front of him, and pushed his hair from his face. "There, that's better, Ichi. You should be feeling better. You slept, you ate, and nothing is going to hurt you here, we're in Urahara's shop, remember?"

Ichigo's panicked look faded as he looked around. Being forced out of his inner world was always a head spinning experience. It wasn't like when he came out willingly, in control. It was like being shoved through layers of cotton into a blurry sunshine above. He still breathed heavy, his body felt so heavy, so weak, and he felt his knees give out under him.

"Hey, you okay?" Renji asked, as he wobbled noticeably.

"I'm tired…my legs…" he muttered, turning his face away from the red haired shinigami in front of him.

Grimmjow grunted and yanked him up bridal style without a second thought. "Of course, you fuckin' haven't got your strength back yet, baka. Hichigo's been using reaitsu to keep your body moving for the last day or so. Yer gonna have to do some work now."

Ichigo sucked in a breath at the motion and for a moment he grasped desperately at the vest of the man who'd so easily hefted him up, an irrational fear of being dropped thrumming through his veins. Grimmjow placed him on the pallet and made him sit up, sitting beside him, placing one hand firmly against the small of his back to make sure he did. Renji dropped down on his knees in front of him.

"You think you can talk now, Ichi?" Renji asked, reaching out and taking the orange haired shinigami substitute's hand gently.

Ichigo's mouth worked as he tried to put a coherent thought together, but he was finding with Renji's hand in his and Grimmjow's hand on his back he couldn't really do it. Finally, he just nodded, looking around the familiar room. His heart had finally stopped trip-hammering in his chest.

"Th-thank you," he muttered, staring down at his hands. "F-for what you did. B-both of you."

Renji and Grimmjow exchanged glances. "Well ya can thank us later, berry. For now, just promise us ya ain't gonna do something stuipid. Fuckin' Hichigo'll skin us both if you do," Grimmjow said, pressing his hand even harder into Ichigo's back.

Ichigo slowly nodded. The need to die was slowly, painfully slowly, beginning to recede. Maybe it was his strength rebuilding without the reaitsu sucking bindings, or maybe it was realizing that he hadn't been abandoned after all.

_Yes you were abandoned, they're lying to you…_ came the smooth baritone voice he hated and loved at the same time.

He shook his head violently, causing both his companions to arch a brow at him. "I am trying….to believe…so much…I want to believe…how do I believe…what is real…"

"Man, he fucked with yer head, didn't he, berry?" Grimmjow said with a frown, reaching up with his free hand to run it through the man's orange locks. To his surprise, he didn't flinch this time.

"It isn't all his fault, Sexta," came a familiar voice from the doorway. All three men looked up to see a very particular pink haired arrancar scientist standing there with arms demurely folded across his thin chest.

Beside him, Grimmjow felt the boy go limp, and he reached out and caught him before he fell face first into the floor. He'd passed out at the shock of seeing one of his tormenters in person.

"Szayel, what the fuck?" Grimmjow asked, laying Ichigo down and motioning to Renji to stay put.

Szayel sauntered out and sat down at the tea table. Shinji and Hiyori had gone, and now Rukia and Ikkaku had returned, apparently brining the octava espada with them.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Szayel?" Grimmjow asked, face flushed in anger.

Szayel waved it off. "I see your mask is gone, too."

Grimmjow's anger dissipated suddenly. "What? I'm not the only one? I thought it was being here or some shit."

He slowly sat down opposite the table from the espada of madness. Urahara had returned bringing more tea. Rukia and Ikkaku were confused it seemed.

Szayel accepted the tea from the wary shinigami. "What _are_ you doing here?"

"Well, it seems some strange things have been happening since you left," Szayel said shrugging. "Halibel and Stark both lost their masks for no reason, and Nel came back full strength and also maskless. There was a little coup de tat, I suppose you would say. Barragan has taken over Las Noches again, and we sealed Aizen in a neat little kido Urahara-san here helped me with," he said nonchalantly.

"What? You defeated him that easily?" Grimmjow asked, truly shocked.

"Never said it was easy," Szayel muttered. "Yammy stayed with him, so we had to kill him first. And then the other espada had to choose to defend Aizen or help us. Nnoitroi ended up helping us, to our surprise, but he's got two eyes now. Seems his hollow hole sealed up. Ulquirro also joined us in putting down Aizen. His hollow mask is gone, but the hollow hole is still in his chest."

Grimmjow sat, mouth agape. They'd turned on Aizen? Even with that bloody zanpakuto of his? He looked at Urahara who was hiding behind his fan again.

"I came here to bring the hogyuku back to Urahara-san, as promised, so he can destroy it," Szayel said, reaching into a pouch and handing the much sought over object like it was a simple gem or piece of gold.

"What…" Grimmjow muttered. Masks shattering? Hollow holes sealing up? What the hell was going on?

"It's the work of the hogyuku, Grimmjow-kun," Urahara said, holding up the decidedly innocuous looking object. "The greatest desires of the master is what it manifests. Unfortunately for Aizen, the hogyuku never really recognized him as its master, instead, it only bent to my will as its creator. And I didn't realize it until your mask fell off. It was 'fixing' the damage done by Aizen still, just as I had willed it to do when AIzen had experimented on the Vizards."

It was becoming clear. Without the power of the hogyuko, those under his command wouldn't follow him as they had before, especially if their hollow natures were slowly being erased. He didn't understand it at all, though. If the hogyuku desired to fix Aizen's actions, why didn't the arrancar simply cease to be?

As if reading his mind, Urahara smiled. "No, I wanted none of you dead, Grimmjow-kun. Taking life is not so easy for me. None of the espada willingly walked into this life. You were all forced into it. And without you knowing it, the longer you were in Las Noches in proximity of the hogyuku, it was slowly changing and altering each and every one of you, especially those who were truly powerful. Why do you thing Szayel softened and let you go? Even though madness had a tight grip on him, it still began to edge away and allow emotions long cut off to return. And you, espada of destruction, instead of wanting to utterly destroy Ichigo, you wanted to save him. Why? The hogyuku was awakening things that were long sealed."

Suddenly Grimmjow gasped, grasping his stomach and leaning over. "Fuck!" he snarled. A shock of utter and complete mind numbing pain ripped through him, and he vaguely saw the hogyuku flash and thrum gently, and he was hit with an incredible wave of…of…emotion. Love, pain, yearning, anger, lonliness, hope, thoughts of caring for someone other than himself, everything washed over him in a second and he lay on the floor now staring at the swirling ceiling. His breath came in heaving pants as his reaitsu seemed to roil and flash around him. It felt different somehow.

"Grimmjow-kun?" a voice from outside whispered and he opened his eyes to find himself staring up into the gray eyes of the hat wearing shop keeper. "Are you okay?"

Grimmjow frowned. "Fuck you asking, bastard, of course I'm not fuckin' okay, what the fuck happened?"

"See for yourself," Szayel said, motioning to Grimmjow's belly.

Grimmjow reached down tentatively and found fingers touching skin where there should be a gaping hole. He looked down and stared. Where the hole had been was a round spot filled with bright pink flesh. His hollow hole was…gone? He looked up between Szayel and Urahara.

"As I expected, having the hogyoku near accelerated the process," Urahara mused. "Szayel, your hollow hole has also sealed?"

The pink haired man nodded. "Last night. By the look on Grimmjow's face, it seems it hurts like hell no matter which of us it happens to. I had the hogyuku with me after digging it out of Aizen's chest. Similar thing happened after I'd been exposed to it for a short while."

Grimmjow didn't move, he only stared at his belly like it belong to someone else. In his mind, those thoughts of pure destruction had left, utterly and completely. And another feeling began to wash over him as he scrambled to his feet and stumbled into the room where Renji lay beside Ichigo, stroking his hair in a loving way. Though a part of him roared with jealousy to see someone other than him touching the boy, the new part of him simply smiled to see the sublime expression on the other alpha male's face. There was no mistaking the look of true and unyielding love in those dark eyes of the red haired shinigami.

Renji looked up at his entrance, his eyes wide. "Grimmjow, your hollow hole…it's gone!"


	15. Chapter 15: Hollow Hearts

_A/N: Short chapter, I know, but maybe will beef it up some more tomorrow, really tired tonight, lol. But I promised two chapters and two chapters I will give! Anyway, I had to stop where I did because the long awaited three way lemon is coming up in the next chapter._

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**Chapter Fifteen**

**Hollow Hearts**

The initial shock of the fact that the arrancar were still evolving passed quickly into a flurry of excitement as more and more people from Soul society showed up. The majority of Urahara's basement had been turned into a lab/living space for the Arrancar who decided to leave Hueco Mundo and help figure out what was happening to them all. Soi Fon-taichou and the stealth force were deployed throughout Karakura Town. Both sides had agreed that the world of the living offered neutral ground to discuss what was to happen in the future. Meetings had been arranged and now Ukitake-taichou and Kurotsuki-taichou had come across as diplomat and scientist, respectively. Szayel had been surprisingly cooperative, considering his previous madness. Somehow, the aspects of death that each espada contained were slowly draining away, as though Aizen's power had been the only thing sustaining those things.

Honestly, it was a mystery exactly how it had all happened. Even with Szayel, Urahara and Mayuri working together, they weren't entirely sure what had happened. It was obvious the hogyuku was the base of the entire thing, and they were rapidly trying to find a way to destroy the thing, and finding it none too easy. Everything they tried seemed to rebound. So far all the arrancar that had close contact with the hogyuku had changed. Those that stayed behind in Hueco Mundo had remained as they were.

Gin Ichimaru had been instrumental in overthrowing Aizen, so he had been sent back to soul society under house arrest much to the happiness of Rangiku Matsumoto. After all came out, it was revealed the Gin had intended to kill Aizen and stayed close to him to attempt just that. He had proven his own character by risking everything to dethrone the once and maybe king from Las Noches. Tousen, however, had died along with Yammy, having been given the power of a hollow by Aizen. Without the hogyuku to power him when the top five espada turned on him together, Aizen and his associates had no chance, even with the illusion causing sword of his.

And now, the room was filled with the changed arrancar and scientists. It seemed everyone from Squad 12 had shown up, bringing half the place with them in equipment.

There was one thing that Grimmjow was not happy about in the slightest, though. Ulquirro had come to help with the testing. His own hollow hole had, like the rest of them, sealed up, but that didn't mean the blue haired espada trusted him. He still looked the same, minus the hole in his chest. But he was going to do his damnedest to make sure that bastard didn't come near what was his.

"Ulquirro, why the fuck are you here?" he asked, furious anger swirling in his blue eyes and he stared at the green eyed bat.

Ulquirro blinked, even with his emotions returning, he remained passive and emotionless on the surface. "What do you mean, Grimmjow? I came to help Szayel and the others figure out if the change is permanent or some temporary effect Aizen's loss of control to Urahara of the hogyuku."

"You know that Ichigo is here," he said tightly.

Ulquirro nodded. "I know that. That is why I am remaining down here. I believe it would be overly traumatic for the human to encounter me."

Grimmjow wanted to punch straight through his impassive fucking face. "'Overly traumatic'?" his voice rose several octaves and several of those around them were now staring at him, including Inoue, Chad, and Uryu. "Overly fucking traumatic? Is that all you can say after you left him shattered in a fuckin' mess and bleeding to death?"

"I was not the originator of all of his torment, Grimmjow. I witnessed Aizen doing the same things before. I was simply indulging my own curiosity, and I…" Ulquirro didn't finish the sentence because the blue haired espada punched him, sending him flying through two boulders that were behind him.

No one moved for a long moment as Ulquirro slowly dug himself from the rubble and returned to where he had been standing, a few rips in his clothes, but otherwise unfazed by the sexta espada's explosion. "By your reaction, Grimmjow, I take it you have decided that he will be your mate?"

A pin could have dropped in the room at that moment. "Otherwise, there would be no need for you to defend him so violently. Of course, if you are not laying claim to him, then perhaps I could coax forgiveness from him for my previous actions. He has the strength and stamina to be an excellent choice."

No one saw the second fist come flying either as Ulquirro, ready this time, caught the fist and only skidded backward a few feet before coming to a stop. "It would seem I struck a nerve, Grimmjow."

"You stay the fuck away from him, Ulquirro. You come near him, I will skin the hierro off your body and use it to stab your worthless fucking eyes out," Grimmjow growled and stormed away up the ladder in a burst of sonido.

Ulquirro turned impassively back to the room at large, even Kurotski staring at him. "I suppose I shall have to find a different beta."

Uryu looked over at Rukia who stood beside him now. "Were they just fighting over Kurosaki?"

Rukia nodded slowly. "I think so…"

"It's because of Ichigo's hollow," Szayel said from beside them now, garnering everyone's attention. "He's trying to safeguard Ichigo, and one of the best ways for a hollow beta to be safe is for him to become marked by a hollow alpha."

Rukia frowned. "But he's not a hollow," she stated.

The pink haired espada shook his head. "He's just as much a hollow as we arrancars are. Beasts inside, remember? Us Arrancar have retained our ressurccion forms. Our changes seem to have stopped at sealing the hollow hole and our masks leaving. We can still perform our release state, much the same as Ichigo and the vizard can call out the mask."

Inoue stared at him curiously. "But why all this about the mates and alphas and betas?"

"Ichigo's hollow is releasing the pheromones to attract an alpha. He may not even know he's doing it, to be honest. But with all these arrancars suddenly showing up in close proximity, any hollow beta is going to start seeking a mate to be safe from the rest. I've already started the same process, and have been fending off all three of Hallibel's fraccion for the last day," he said glancing over his shoulder where Mila Rose was waving at him. He waved back shyly.

"But they're all female…" Rukia said.

Szayel nodded. "Of course, but they are alpha females, all three and Hallibel as well. Sex isn't a matter of gender for hollows, it is dominance and submission. And for ah alpha to claim a beta, the beta must beat them in battle, so you can see why I am not in the mood to deal with them right now. I have far much to do to be fighting those three, then watching to see which one comes out on top."

Renji walked up just then, stretching out his arms. "Damn, what put the fire in Grimmjow? He came tearing upstairs and told me to leave. He looked about ready to explode!"

Rukia pointed to the green eyed espada. Renji's face fell into a frown. "Oh, I see. What happened?"

Szayel sighed. "Well first, Grimmjow was mad because he was here, then Ulquirro started questioning what he was going to do with Ichigo, indicating that he was interested in taking him as a beta. That's when he stormed off."

"What he was going to do with Ichigo?" Renji asked.

Szayel started to speak but was called back by Kurotsuki. Urahara came sauntering over smiling behind his fan.

"Hello, Renji-san, how are you doing today?" Urahara said.

"I'm not sure, this is all confusing, I got why everyone is here, and the whole negotiations with Las Noches, and all that, but what's going on with Grimmjow and Ulquirro? And why is that bastard even here after what he did to Ichigo?" Renji asked, glowering at Ulquirro.

Urahara waved his fan at Renji. "Seems like you are just as overheated over any perceived danger to Ichigo-kun as Grimmjow-san is…"

Renji swallowed, his entire face going beet red. "Well, um, that is…"

Urahara placed a hand on his shoulder gently, surprisingly gently. "Renji, there is no need to hide your feelings for Ichigo-kun any longer, especially after the lengths you were willing to go to in order to save him. But you remember that Hichigo said he was a beta, and the hollow was an alpha?"

Renji nodded, urging the hat and clog wearing man to continue. "It's a part of the hollow world that the betas need an alpha to survive. The problem with Ichigo is that his hollow is an alpha, and in order to survive in the same soul, Ichigo-kun had to become a beta to cope with it. It doesn't mean that he's weak, on the contrary, betas are usually stronger than the alphas because they usually carry the young."

"But Ichigo isn't a hollow!" Rukia said again. "I don't understand what this has to do with him!"

Urahara sighed deeply and patted the short woman on the shoulder. "I know, but he is more like the arrancar than we like to believe. He isn't just tapping into the power of an inner hollow, half his soul is a hollow. And the way things are going around here, unless someone 'claims' him, we might be in trouble. The pheromones his hollow is emitting is setting off every hollow and arrancar close by. And I'm worried what that will do to him if someone advances on him in a typical alpha manner."

Renji frowned. "Typical alpha manner?"

Urahara nodded. "Aggressive and dominating, much how he was treated by Aizen. One of the reasons Aizen was able to break him like he was. He not only had physical control, he was using his rieatsu to activate the hollow instincts and Szayel was injecting him with a cocktail of drugs meant to heighten arousal, sensitivity, and put him in a semi-hypnotic and suggestible state. That's why he is having such trouble breaking away from the things that he was told by Aizen."

Urahara motioned for Renji and the others to follow him back upstairs. Once they were seated in the tea room, Urahara checked the monitor to see Grimmjow seated cross legged behind where Ichigo was sleeping, a scowl across the bright blue brows.

"Szayel was able to provide me with complete descriptions of the tests and experiments that were done on Ichigo-kun, and it confirmed my suspicions. He had awoken the hollow instincts but pushed down the hollow consciousness so that Ichigo-kun was operating without much thought. The drugs were putting him into such a state that anything said to him by Aizen was the truth. Right now, he's fighting through the network of lies and half-truths that AIzen fed him. I've given him some injections to help clear the fog, but it isn't something I can just cure. He has to come through it by himself," Urahara said, sighing again, his fan forgotten on the table in front of him.

"So, basically how does an alpha claim a beta?" Renji said quietly.

"Bite. You remember when Aizen bit Ichigo? He forced his own reiatsu through the wound and bound it to Ichigo's own. It created a bridge between the two souls, and until we removed it, Ichigo was subject to his attacks," Urahara said, snapping his fan open.

Renji looked thoughtful. "Well, how do we keep someone else from doing that to him?"

"Well, ideally, an alpha that he cared about would leave his or her mark on him, match the reiatsu patterns, and the pheromones would stop, and the rest of the alphas in the area would quit honing in on him. Ikkaku and Yumichika have been busy today killing all the hollows that have been roaming the area since the pheromones started leaking out of him," Urahara said with a frown.

"Why don't we ask him?" a voice behind them said. They looked up to see Grimmjow in the doorway, having heard some of the conversation. "I mean, it's his fuckin' choice what happens to 'im, right?"

Urahara kept one eye on the monitor showing Ichigo's sleeping form. "You're right, Grimmjow-kun. It is unfair to keep this from him, and unfair for us to decide what he can and cannot handle without asking him ourselves. Why don't you and Renji stay with him and discuss it when he wakes up. We'll hold off the hollows outside and the keep everyone else downstairs for the time being."

With that everyone else left, Rukia leaving with a lingering stare on Renji as the door was shut and sealed over them. Renji looked at Grimmjow and they both headed into the room with the soft snoring sounds of the orange headed boy on the floor.

"I know what I want, Red, but I'm a lil scared to ask 'im," Grimmjow said with a sigh, laying down against Ichigo's sleeping back.

Renji nodded. "I know the feeling."

The silence stretched out for a while. "But what are we gonna do, Red?"

"Take care of him, I guess, until he's back to normal," Renji said, laying down in front of Ichigo, gently brushing the hair out of his face.

Grimmjow's hands began to rub Ichigo's back. "But what if he don't want us to?"

Renji sighed, the same thoughts running through his head. He'd never really felt like this, at least not to this degree. It was like Ichigo was yanking some base animal instincts to the surface. Considering, though, how primal the energy of his own spirit and zanpakuto was, though, that wasn't too difficult. Even the tattoos that he gained as he gained power spoke of wild and untamed energy. His reiatsu had always matched that same feeling. And he felt similar energy rolling off the gruff ex-sexta espada across from him.

Ichigo moved, rolling over to his back and he found himself staring up into the cyan blue eyes of Grimmjow and the cherry chocolate eyes of Renji. He started a bit, but relaxed, feeling the comforting reaitsu flow over and through him.

"Hrm, what do you want?" he muttered, his eyes fluttering in near sleep.

Renji brushed his hair out of his face again. "Hey, we need to talk, you think you can, Ichi?"

The orange haired shinigam nodded and reached up to cup Renji's cheek with one hand and Grimmjow's cheek with the other.

"Why am I so hot?" he asked, looking up between them both.

Renji swallowed, grabbing his hand and holding it down. "That's what we gotta talk about, see there's this alpha beta thing, and…"

"Yeah, Hichigo told me about it while I was sleeping," he muttered, shifting uncomfortably under the light sheet that was over him. "Something about smell or something drawing hollows to me. He said he was sorry but it was something Aizen did with the stupid injections."

He kept rubbing up against both of them, touching and running hands over them. "Ichigo, you need to tell us what _you_ want, not what the hollow wants."

Grimmjow thought he might explode as he felt him rub a hip against the hardness in his jeans. He swallowed and looked heatedly over at Renji as if to say he couldn't take much more.

"Um, Ichigo, Urahara said that someone had to mark you with their reiatsu to get this to stop, and we wanted to know, um, who you…ah…" Renji stopped when Ichigo's hand grasped his crotch roughly.

Renji reached down and grabbed both his hands in and held them in front. "Ichigo, stop, we need to know what you want! I can do it or Grimmjow can, but you gotta tell us what you want."

Ichigo looked up between the two of them and then smiled softly, his face blushing bright red. "What if I want both?"


	16. Chapter 16: The Strongest Blade

_A/N: Short chapter, I know, and I was very sneaky, the lemon will be in the next chapter, sorry, only fluffy feels here. Enjoy anyway! _

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen**

**The Strongest Blade**

A pin could have been heard dropping in the next town. Hell, two towns over, as Renji and Grimmjow locked eyes with each other. Whatever pheromones or whatever Ichigo was putting off was damn near choking them both, especially at that moment. Renji swallowed hard closed his eyes. Before it had been Hichigo, not Ichigo, and now Ichigo wasn't himself. Aizen had injected him with things to make him mimic the animal side of a hollow, to tap into that which had always been there, dormant. He really didn't want to do this if Ichigo wasn't willing.

"You've got to," Ichigo practically purred below them, squirming around under the sheet he was in and bringing both Grimmjow and Renji back to staring at him. "Hichigo said if you don't, someone else will, and he said that the other arrancar are here, and I don't want them near me at all. He…he said that…it would start out slow, but it would get bad since Aizen wanted me to react to him like this. But I'm not marked anymore, and his reiatsu is gone, so now…"

As if on cue, they heard the sound of a couple hollows screaming outside. There was an obvious clash as the shinigami on the outside took care of them, but they were quickly followed by another set of screams. Ichigo was drawing them faster now.

"Fuckin' Aizen," Ichigo moaned, reaching up and grabbing Renji by the hair and yanking him down into a kiss full of tongue and teeth.

Surprisingly, Grimmjow didn't feel the slightest pang of jealousy at the sight. Instead he mearly growled and as soon as Red came up for air, took his place, pressing into the boy under him, his tongue absolutely ravaging the boy's mouth. He was met with equal fevor as Ichigo grabbed handfuls of his hair in return. He sat up and saw the confused look on Renji's face.

"What, you want fuckin' Ulquirro to come up here after him?" Grimmjow said suddenly, illiciting a full body shudder from Ichigo below him and a whimper at the thought. "I know it fuckin' don't seem right, after what has happened, Red, but if we don't deal with it, Ulquirro is already trying to lay claim on him, and I can't let that happen to him again. Just mentioning that fucker's name makes him tremble still. If its us, at least he'll be himself and not a shadow of the man he was before all this shit happened."

Renji looked down; Ichigo's lust clouded eyes had that fear in them, just mentioning it. Renji didn't want to see that dead look in his eyes again. Ever. "If this is the only way," he said. "Tell me what to do, I'm no fuckin' hollow."

Grimmjow was about to speak when Ichigo's mask suddenly starting forming around him and the heavy black hollow reaitus began to shake the barriers around the shoten. Renji and Grimmjow both gave each other a look as the distorted voice from behind the slowly forming mask, but it was only half forming, only the left side, and only one eye turning black and gold.

"Ngh! I could kill Aizen for this! I want to rip…his throat…out…and eat…his soul…"

Then the right eye clouded over and Hichigo's voice, not Ichigo's distorted voice, came out in a near scream. "You two fucks hurry up or we're gonna lose fuckin' control, and I can't stop the transformation…he'll lose himself to the hollow mind…"

Grimmjow didn't wait as he grabbed Ichigo and pulled his unresisting body into a seated position. The right eye had returned to brown, but fearful as to what was going on with his body and soul. "Remember what Aizen did? Bite down, force rieatsu into him, and focus on twisting it, melding it into his reiatsu. Concentrate on making him submit to your will."

"I…can't…that's…" Renji stammered.

"Red, you ain't got a choice, fucking do it at the same time. If there are two alphas we might be able to contain his reiatsu enough. That's why he said both of us. You know how fuckin' massive this kid's power is, Red. With very little help, he managed to break through Aizen's submission. Inoue pulled it out, but he broke the hold," Grimmjow said, as the rising red tinged black energy seemed to pulse out of him, and the foaming mask started creeping across the other side of his face, his brown eye starting to darken.

Renji nodded, understanding. Ichigo wasn't your average shinigami or even your average hollow. He was both, so it made sense it would take both to contain him. Grimmjow and Renji nodded simultaneously and both dove down and bit into Ichigo's neck at the same moment, driving reiatsu into the wound sharply. Ichigo threw his head back and screamed, a hollow sound mixed with a distorted human scream. The whipping black energy faded, his mask shattering and disappearing, and eyes now chocolate brown rolling up into the back of his head as he fell forward limply.

"Did it work?" Renji asked hesitantly.

Grimmjow laid him back gently and leaned forward. On his left side, a small deep blue mark had formed at the back of his neck where Grimmjow had bitten down into him. He turned his head and saw a similar red mark on the other side of the back of his neck. Grimmjow nodded slowly. "Looks like it."

There was a fluttering of his eyelids and they found themselves looking down into black sclera and gold pupils.

"Well, ya fuckers managed it, took ya long enough, fuck, man. I thought we weren't gonna make it. Why the fuck did it take me so long to figure this shit out? Fuck. I almost lost my king," Hichigo said. "Now he's got two fuckin' alphas. I was supposed to be his only fuckin' alpha. Fuckin' Aizen, man."

Grimmjow frowned. "What the fuck happened?"

Highigo sighed. "Fuckin' getabishi still recording, cuz I'm only sayin this once," he said looking around, when both the men above him nodded.

"Okay, from what me and Zangetsu put together, all we know is there tha pink haired freak was pumpin' me fulla different shit to activate hollow instincts. Even before the pink freak got ahold of us, he'd already used something on Ichigo when he caught him the first time that let him use the hollow mark on him. Wouldn't have worked otherwise, since he's human. But fuckin' Aizen didn't count on king being so fuckin' strong, and he shoved off his reiatsu force enough that big tits, er Inoue, could pull the foreign reiatsu out of him. That's when all hell broke loose. Without the fuckin' mark, the hollow instincts were callin' alphas, which in reality would be fought off to find the strong one, but he wasn't in no fuckin' condition to handle them. So here we are," Hichigo said.

"I take it getabishi and the pink haired freak put together the shit," he said sighing. "Okay I'm fuckin' out, he's all yers, I can't fight anymore right now. Keep him from runnin', keep him from killin' his fool self, all that shit. Ya can now, as his alphas." His eyes fluttered and gently closed leaving Renji and Grimmjow looking over his still form quite unsure of what to do now.

"Well, at least that's sorted," the striped hat and clog wearing shop owner said with a snapping click to open his fan. "Everyone settled down below, and seems like the hollows have tapered down. I felt that blast of reiatsu even past the barriers, what exactly happened?"

Renji looked up, suddenly afraid of what he'd just done. "I…I'm not sure what we just did, he said we could make sure he doesn't hurt himself now, what does that mean, Urahara-san? I didn't want to do anything to hurt him…"

Grimmjow frowned. "Hollows have a reiatsu link with their mates, so we can influence them to do what we want, have them…submit."

"B-but…no, we can't make Ichigo…" Renji looked panicked as Urahara put his hand on his shoulder.

"Renji-san, you did what you had to do. We'll deal with the consequences later. For now, I think all three of you need rest after such a trying experience.

Then it was like a damp fog fell over the room, and both Renji and Grimmjow found themselves flopping forward into Ichigo's chest, both hearing his heart beat beneath them. Urahara sighed. At least that kido still worked. He was worried, of course. But the worry didn't seem to touch his lively grey eyes.

-Basement level—

It had been a while since Urahara had left to investigate the strange reiatsu surge from the building above. As soon as the surge happened, the aggression among the former arrancar (because what exactly where they now?) seemed to dissipate. Ulquirro, who had been pacing back and forth near the ladder upward ever since he found out there was a barrier above him, stopped and looked around, then moved away, returning to the others. Hallibel's fraccion seemed to stop chasing Szayel as well.

Szayel moved back over, sighing. "Ah, someone claimed him, so now it's over."

Rukia, Chad and Issida were the group he was standing closest too. Rukia frowned. "Claimed him? What does that mean?"

"An alpha laid claim to Ichigo-san. It was the only way to quell that turmoil. Aizen had wanted Ichigo to be his obedient beta, always at his disposal, always in submission, so many of the things that he had me give him were to increase the base hollow instincts of the alpha/beta mentality. So when Inoue-san pulled out Aizen's reiatsu, his mark, then it left him open to be reclaimed by the next strongest alpha," he said matter of factly, as though these silly shinigami and humans should seriously understand it by now.

"But…" Rukia began.

Szayel nodded. "Yes, he's not a hollow, but with his inner hollow and everything Aizen pumped him full of, he's going to act like one. From now on, he belongs to his alpha. And if anyone else tries to interfere, they're going to regret it."

"Belongs?" Issida said, pushing his glasses up again. "What does that mean? He's subservient to them?"

Szayel nodded. "Of course. He can't deny his alpha, no matter how hard he tries, their reiatsu signatures are blended, and if the alpha is strong enough, they can't be separated."

Rukia swallowed hard. "So after all he's been through, what Aizen did to him, he's practically going to be a slave to whoever claimed him?"

"Well, I mean, it depends on the alpha. Aizen used it to bend him to his will, to make him a slave. Another one wouldn't do that," he said looking up to see Urahara coming down slowly.

He was mobbed by the human and shinigami friends of those upstairs alike. "Settle down, they're all three okay, sleeping, I made sure of it, they all needed it, but the danger to Ichigo-san has passed."

"Who?" Rukia asked suddenly.

Urahara frowned. "Whatever do you mean, Rukia-san?"

"Cut it shopkeeper, Szayel told us what was happening, and said the only way to stop it was if someone 'laid claim' on Ichigo. Who did it?" She said hotly.

He snapped open the fan and nodded. "Ya, ya, that was a joint effort, between Renji-san and Grimmjow-san."

Szayel had moved up and folded his arms over his chest. "Makes sense, he is a shinigami and a hollow, so it took a shinigami and a hollow to contain the reiatsu."

Rukia's face had blushed. "And you're okay with this? That he's been so damaged and now he has two people that can make him do anything they want, not that I think Renji would, but Grimmjow tried to kill him!"

There was a silence around them as Urahara nodded. "Rukia, it was that or the hollow was going to consume him and we were going to have to kill him. Aizen released a lot of the restraints that Kurosaki-san had on the hollow with his tinkering and with the hogyuku. We are very lucky things have turned out this well."

There was a flurry of moment and Ukitake-taichou clapped loudly from his position. Everyone turned to see what the news from soul society would be in regards to the once arrancar and the defector Gin.

"The ruling on the arrancar is that they will be held in custody for a period of time in which to determine the permanence of the changes wrought by the hogyuku. There will be a camp set up for them to live in, guarded of course, until everything is settled. Assuming everything goes well, integration into soul society will begin," Ukitake announced.

There was a buzz of talking but the small group around Urahara was more worried about a certain orange haired shinigami substitute's fragile mental state at that moment.

-Ichigo's Inner World—

What the hell would he do now? He wanted to sleep. His head was still muddled with the things Aizen had said, the things he had forced him to believe with all his heart. And now, he was no more than property to two others that he really didn't know what the future brought.

"Does it bother you that much that you've been marked by them?" Zangetsu's passive voice said beside him.

Ichigo sighed. "It's just, that's what started the whole thing, and the mark was gone, and I was free, and now, I feel their presence even in my sleep, like Aizen's presence before them."

"Does their presence hurt you?"

Ichigo closed his eyes. "No, it feels warm, comforting. Not like Aizen's. It was so cold and burned into every corner of my being."

"Do you love them?"

The question caught him off guard and he looked up at black clad man. Love? Did he love Renji? Did he love Grimmjow? Wait, how could he love either one of them? Both had been his enemies, and both had seen his strength, so why did he need them?

"Ichigo, even the strongest blade can break, remember?"

Ichigo thought about that for a long time. He had broken. Shattered into thousands of disgusting pieces. He hated himself so much that he had just wanted to die and start over in soul society. He didn't want to face family or friends with the heavy shame that weighed down his heart. But it hadn't mattered to Grimmjow, who rushed in and risked his life to get him out of there. It hadn't mattered to Renji, who gave up his body to jar Ichigo out of his recessed corner of his inner world. So was it really that shameful to have been taken advantage of like he had been?

"No, it wasn't. You did well. Now let them help reforge the shattered blade, Ichigo."

Ichigo sat a while longer and thought. His friends hadn't abandoned him. None of them had, and he knew they were all waiting for him to come around. Even Hiyori and Shinji had been there. He knew he couldn't stand them all at once, but maybe, just maybe, he could come to do so. Once the damage in his fractured mind was slowly undone, and now he knew it. It was damage.

_Even the strongest blade can break._


	17. Chapter 17: Echoes of Hurts Past

_A/N: Okay, I'm not sure about this one. I'm going to fluff it some more, I think, and maybe do a more detailed fight scene, but we'll see. This is mostly just a bridge to the next chapter with a LONG AWAITED LEMON for all ya pervs reading this. And if you ain't perv, why are you here? :P_

**Chapter 17**

**Echoes of Hurts Past**

Ichigo was drifting, lazily, somewhere soft now. It wasn't his inner world, it was a dream, maybe? He moaned as he stretched out. He winced as he reached up and touched a painful place on his neck which immediately sizzled out strange rieatsu. He looked up seeing sparks of red and blue. Red and blue? Why did that make him happy?

Then he was thrown to his knees, now being pressed down, pushed into the ground. He felt hands on him again, around his back and a voice came to him unbidden.

"Maybe it's all an illusion, Ichi-kun. Maybe this is nothing more than what I've chosen to show you. Maybe this is just what I desire," the thick baritone voice whispered in his ear.

His heart started to beat thunder in his chest as he shook his head. No, it wasn't one of Aizen's illusions. He'd never seen his shikai.

"How do you know you've never seen my shikai?" he whispered. "Maybe you have and don't remember."

Then the touches, those horrible cold fingers, touching his skin. Kneading his flesh with daggers of ice. Violet, violet reiatsu forcing its way into his heart and soul, vicious and cutting in the invasion.

"No! Leave me alone, I don't want you to touch me!" he screamed finding the strength to stand and backing up. Those brown eyes bored holes in him like they were beams of heated light, or ceros.

"I told you, Ichi-kun, I told you. They abandoned you. They're lying to you. They're the ones you need to fear. I gave you purpose, to be by my side. What are they doing, trying to control you, make you their own? You are a useless broken blade now. You will never be reforged except by my hands. I am your only hope of survival."

He backed away, reaching for Zangetsu but finding he was in his human body. He looked around franticly. The walls were white, the floor was white, and the ceiling was white. No color stained the room except the orange of his own hair. Then, in a leap Aizen was on him, pinning him down, forcing himself on him brutally again, and he couldn't stop him.

Perhaps one of the most soul-shaking sounds for someone is to hear someone they care about scream in terror. Not the "I'm having a nightmare fear, or even the, I'm going to fall off this ledge if I'm not careful fear. No, true terror. That thing that starts at the bottom of the stomach and works its way up slowly in such a tight release that it is unmistakable. This is no screaming like a girl sound, no shrieking. No this is something so distinct that no one, whether they've heard it or not can mistake it. It is a quaking thing, leaving the body shivering just from hearing it. Something lay behind the sound, something so primal that it harkens back to the time when the long ago bests ran from the predators. The sound that is made when instead of predator, one is prey.

Renji and Grimmjow were both in the next room with Urahara and Rukia trying to figure out what the ramifications of what they'd done the evening before were. After falling under the sleeping kido, the three had slept soundly until Urahara released the kido. But Ichigo had still slept. And by the thready feel of his reiatsu they all knew he needed it. It would take a while to recover from what happened the day before.

While not entirely unexpected, the sheer sound and outpouring of reiatsu actually shattered the barrier that had been set up around the room in a golden flash. Before another word could be said, all four were skidding into the room to find Ichio's body convulsing, the initial scream and reiatsu release faded, but now great gouts of red lined black pushed outward, lashing out, leaving scratches on any that got close enough to him to be touched by the.

Urahara tried chanting a barrier but it was smashed by one of the tendrils of reiatsu before it could fully form. He quickly called out Benehime and the red shield managed to hold it off, but he could see it cracking, much like it had the first time he had trained Ichigo.

"Grimmjow! Renji! Take control through the link before he blows himself and all of us up with him!" Urahara said, trying to hold the shield that they were behind.

Grimmjow closed his eyes, feeling throught he reaitsu he'd intertwined in Ichigo's body. The black was resisting though, trying to untwist it. Grimmjow set his jaw. "Red, you gotta do it too, he's trying to force me out! This is why he wanted both of us to do this, remember? He knew!"

Renji was nervous but he knew he had to do this. He had to contain this incredible…whatever it was. He reached out feeling the link, his own red reaitsu also entwined with the black and blue. The blue was holding tightly as the black tried to thrash away, so Renji applied the same pressure, and around them, the lashing black reaitsu seemed to calm.

"Concentrate on making him sleep, force him to do it no matter how he resists," Grimmjow said tightly, moving to kneel beside his still thrashing body.

Renji did the same, holding onto him. He concentrated everything into it, his own red reiatsu flaring around him, and Grimmjow's blue rising up as well. They were both powerful, and that's why it had to be them. He resisted, Renji could feel his absolute terror as he was forced to do something he didn't want to do, even if it was a simple thing like sleep. His mind thrashed wildly, and they both felt the utter betrayal he felt that they were doing this him before he quieted and fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

Renji sat back, panting, as did Grimmjow. "Oh boy, he's gonna be pissed when he wakes up. Or rather when we wake him up."

Urahara, his zanpakuto sheathed again inside the cane kneeled at Ichigo's feet. "Any idea what caused that? And what did you do?"

Grimmjow sighed. "I'm more used to this than Red here, so I'll see if I can't run through his memories through the link and figure this out. We forced him to sleep, and until we wake him, he won't wake on his own."

Grimmjow laid down and placed a hand on the mating mark on his neck and closed his eyes. It was almost like dreaming but he found himself floating in a large, open, and completely white area. It was an exaggerated copy of Las Noches. He knew that this was going to happen at some point, but what had triggered this sort of thing? As he walked he heard voices and as he neared he could hear Aizen's smooth, perfect voice.

"No, don't let them fool you. Shattered mess, that's what you are, dear Ichi-kun, and I'll reforge you, brand new! My perfect Arrancar…" he purred.

Grimmjow came around to find a scene he was sure was a constant reel in Ichigo's head, and it stung him deeply to see his mated one being hurt by someone like that sick fuck Aizen. Even if it was only in his head, he felt the incredibly strong need to defend him. He leaped, his from shifting as he muttered, "Grind, Pantera."

Grimmjow had never defended another. Not really, but he leaped forward with all the speed and force of a panther as he tackled the image of Aizen before him, earning a yelp from Ichigo as the figure was knocked away from him. Ichigo was backpedaling, into the wall behind him as Grimmjow fought tooth and claw with the thing. It had Aizen's form, but it seethed hollow energy. What the fuck? It grinned, a hollow sound coming from it, and the bright purple reiatsu flared around it that was familiar, yet foreign. A mask started forming on him, and it looked like the face of a vulture. Grimmjow snarled, as it lashed out, leaving a deep cut along his skin. After a few bloody minutes, they stood a ways apart, both leaking fluids onto the white floor, bright red and almost black.

"What the fuck are you?" Grimmjow growled, holding up claws bloodied black.

The thing cackled in a voice that sounded like Aizen's only distorted. "How do you think Aizen was able to mark him the first time, espada?"

Everything began to clear. Aizen had pulled a hollow into himself. Aizen had used it to gain the knowledge he needed and passed on instructions to Szayel as to what to do. When Ichigo had been sufficiently weakened from both tortures, both physical and mental, he used it to solidify the connection. But the connection was never wanted, so Ichigo had been able to throw out Aizen's reiatsu, but it appeared, the essence of the hollow had been passed through the link before Aizen had been torn to shreds in Hueco Mundo.

"No, get the fuck out, hollow trash," he muttered, stalking him and putting himself between him and the shivering human form of Ichigo, completely defenseless in this world.

The hollow form before him tsked and smiled, the mask actually smiling with it. "I am afraid I cannot. It is too much fun to torment the boy. And it feels so good being inside him."

Grimmjow launched himself again and found himself tossed into the wall beside Ichigo, feeling something break. He groaned and looked over at Ichigo and then he saw the pale version behind him.

"King, time ta take yer throne back," Hichigo said, holding up the inverted Zangetsu in bankai. "Only ya can slay 'im, king."

Ichigo looked up tentatively then stiffened as Grimmjow saw the end of the white Zangetsu push out through his back. Grimmjow's eyes widened and he went to reach for him, but there was a massive burst of energy and swirling red tinged black reaitsu, and when the smoke that billowed up cleared, Ichigo stood again, in his black and red bankai coat, holding the thin Zangetsu katana. He stared down, almost in wonder and reach up to release the hollow mask. A manic laugh resounded.

"Go King, I got yer back this time."

Grimmjow had seen the kid move in bankai, and with the mask, but the absolute ferocity that he moved with was incredible. His reaitsu almost pressed Grimmjow to the ground as he fought with the hollow masked Aizen. There were no sounds save the slashing of blades as he out paced, out maneuvered and out fought the thing. Even if they were in his own mind, Grimmjow was amazed considering the condition he had been in earlier. Finally, it seemed that Ichigo was getting the upper hand, flashing in front and around him so fast the creature couldn't determine which of the after images was the real one. Once he had him unstable, he feinted to the front, then flashed behind and slashed through it's back. When it spun around, he slashed down the front. The blackish blood sprayed, and there was a hollow shriek. The figure dissipated.

Ichigo fell to his knees, and Grimmjow caught him easily. Ichigo looked up with his brown eyes soft. "What are you doing here, Grimm?"

"Trying to help yer dumb ass," he said softly.

"You made me go to sleep," he said, his brows knitting. "I didn't like that at all. I think if you ever do that again I'm going to rip your head off."

Grimmjow nodded, nuzzeling his head into Ichigo's neck. "Yeah, I figured as much. But it was either that or you and that wild reiatsu of yours was gonna blow the shoten to pieces, and us along with it."

Ichigo sighed, his voice fading, his eyes drooping. "I think I need to sleep, Grimm. I'm…too…"

Grimmjow sighed as he drifted off. He looked up to see the white version of Ichigo looking over him.

"Big fuckin risk, kitty cat, comin' in here like that," Hichigo said, hand popped on his hip, brow arched.

Grimmjow laid him down. "I know."

"Well, get tha fuck out. I got this shit from here. I just couldn't fight that fucker, and king here was all sorts a'fucked up in the head," he said, waving a hand dismissively.

Grimmjow closed his eyes, allowing the reaitsu link to pull him back and he opened his eyes to see he was snuggling into Ichigo's bankai cloak. He jerked and sat up, looking down to see he was released, and had blood oozing from several places.

"Fuck, man. I don' wanna do that shit again," he muttered returning Pantera to sword form.

Renji was staring, so was Urahara. "What?" he asked.

Urahara leaned back and snapped his fan open in front of his face, hiding a coquettish grin, no doubt. "Something was amiss?"

Grimmjow rolled his head. "Yeah, Aizen had fused with a hollow soul or some shit, but when he was linked with Ichigo, the hollow soul had infiltrated him. When Red and I marked him, it pissed him off, so he went after Ichigo. I tried to fight the bastard, but he was too fuckin' much, almost killed my ass even released. But Ichigo's weirdo hollow comes up and shoves his sword through him and releases his bankai, and he proceeded to tear the lil hollow bitch apart. Then he told me if I ever forced him to do something he'd rip my head off next time, and passed the fuck out."

Renji snorted. "Man, he's gonna chew my ass too."

"Fuck, dude, if we get out without him getsuga tenshouing our asses both we're gonna be lucky," Grimm said sulkily.

Rukia started laughing. A full rolling laughter that came from the seat of her soul. And it was the first time in a long time. Renji and Grimmjow frowned at her.

"What the fuck, midget?" Grimmjow snorted.

"It's just, it's just funny, you're worried about what he's going to do to punish you, but you two are supposed to be the ones in control, aren't you?" she said, breathless.

Grimmjow snorted. "You don't know shit about betas, then."

"I'm so confused now!" she said, wiping tears away from her eyes. "I thought the beta's were submissive?"

Grimmjow arched a brow. "Yeah, well, they're only submissive when it comes to getting' fucked. The rest of the time, it ain't like that. Pissin' off yer beta is about the last thing an alpha does before they see their guts on the ground. Especially ones like Ichigo that can kick both our asses if he chooses to."

The look Renji gave Grimmjow at that moment sent Rukia into another howling fit of laughter. It was somewhere between oh my god what have I done and sheer terror as he looked down at the peacefully sleeping orange haired shinigami.


	18. Chapter 18: Awakening Light

_A/N: Whew! This was an intense chapter! _

_Warning: LEMON, double pen, but all consensual. Even thought there are some flying fists and feet. Oh, and voyeurism. Are all these people perverts? Hrm, yes I think so._

_IMPORTANT: Please vote on my profile to say whether you like the story ending where it does, of if you think I should continue and detail the threesome's life after they finally consummate the mating._

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**Chapter 18**

**Awakening Light**

"Ichigo? Can you wake up?" came the call in his head. It wasn't a command, well it was, but it had a pleading sound to it. He shook his head.

"Five more minutes," he murmured. "I'm still tired."

"Ichigo, you gotta wake up," a different voice this time, with more command to it. It was not as easy to ignore. He didn't like that.

"No," he said, rolling over onto his back. "I'm tired."

"Dammit, Ichigo, wake the fuck up," and this time it was a strong command, sending a shock through his body from the top of his head down to his toes, and his eyes flew open despite willing them to stay closed.

He looked up to see blue and cherry chocolate eyes staring at him. His jawline tightened and he realized why he was suddenly so pissed. A second later, both fists shot out, landing a hard blow to the underside of both jaws that were above him. There were twin groans as Ichigo frowned and rolled over on his stomach.

Grimmjow stood up first, rubbing his chin and glared at Urahara who was smirking behind his fan, he couldn't see it but he knew it, and Rukia who stood with arched brow. He looked over to see Renji slowly bringing himself to his feet and rubbing his own jaw.

"I fuckin' told you he'd be pissed," Grimmjow grumbled, and got down on his knees and crawled back to the tatami.

"Ichigo, I know yer mad, but just listen…" His pleading was met with another hard punch, this one to his nose, sending him flying backward.

He sat back on his rump, rubbing his nose again. This was going worse than he'd thought. He knew he'd be mad, but damn. The waves of anger roiling off the man that was now his mate were almost visible. Black reiatsu was flickering around his fist when he put it back under his head.

Renji carefully approached, dodging as a fist flew out at him. He grinned at Grimmjow, but was rewarded by being kicked in the stomach this time, falling over backward. He hadn't even seen him move that time.

By now Rukia was starting to laugh out loud, and Urahara was having a hard time not snickering. Ichigo turned to look, his eyes burning bright gold. Rukia eeped, and her and Urahara retreated, shutting the door behind them. Of course, they escaped to the monitors to watch the events. It was too good to miss. It was, however, refreshing to see Ichigo acting somewhat normal. Urahara glanced at the room and then threw a barrier over it, just to be sure. He really didn't want the lovers' quarrel to bring down the house, literally. He was curious how they were going to deal with Ichigo now. A few minutes later Uryu, Inoue and Szayel had wandered up.

"What's the show?" Szayel said, arching a pink brow at him.

"Hum, yes, Renji and Grimmjow are attempting to get into Ichigo's good graces after using their link to force him to submit to sleep and then again to make him wake up. He is not pleased," Urahara said indicating the monitors that were showing the events in the room.

Ichigo's reiatsu left no argument that he was angry. Renji and Grimmjow had retreated to the corner of the room to discuss what they were going to do in order to diffuse the situation with their mate. Strangely, it hadn't taken long for them to both begin to call him that. The closer the arrancar came to becoming a shinigami, the more he and Renji had begun to click. It was like an unspoken agreement that in order to contain Ichigo, it had to be two of them. No one alpha could manage to help contain his immense and unending reserves of reiatsu.

"What the fuck, dude?" Grimmjow muttered.

"He's all fists and feet," Renji said, very glad they'd locked Zangetsu up in one of Urahara's reiatsu sealing safes.

Grimmjow thought for a moment. "Well, he's been bitten but we haven't really…um…done the rest."

Renji arched a brow at him. "What…oh wait, you mean?"

Grimmjow nodded. "Yeah, he's got the marking, and our reiatsu, but we still have to, aw, well, fuck him."

Renji swallowed. "And how do you propose we do that if he won't even let us get near him without decking us? Not that I wouldn't like to, but I want my dick to stay attached to my body, and if we tried that I think he might try to rip it off and beat me with it."

Grimmjow nodded furiously. "Let's ask that weirdo shopkeeper."

They came out finding everyone looking like they weren't watching what was happening in the room.

"Oi, don't act like you weren't watching," Renji said, eyeing them.

Urahara nodded. "We have to make sure you're all safe, but seems you've identified the true reason behind Ichigo's bad temper."

Both men shifted. "Yeah, but how the fuck we fix it?"

Szayel watched the monitor as Ichigo restlessly flopped on the mat. "Well, he's been running a lot on hollow instinct, and you have satisfied part of the mating by marking him and giving him your reiatsu, but its left him needing the rest. Normally, the mating mark and reiatsu mixing happens during the copulation process. However, due to his circumstances, neither Aizen's mark or the one you two left happened the way it is supposed to…"

"Yeah, so what the hell we do?" Grimmjow asked impatiently.

Szayel rolled his eyes. "Copulate. Finish the process."

Grimmjow and Renji gaped. "Well how the fuck are we going to do that without losing…something…" Grimmjow finally said frowning.

The room broke up in giggles and then full blown laughter as everyone realized what they were worried about.

Rukia finally gasped, her laughter dying off. "You think he's going to take your manhood, huh?"

"You go try and reason with him!" Renji snapped, crossing his arms over his chest. "I've already been kicked in the gut and punched in the jaw, and he's lacing it with reiatsu around his fists and feet!"

There was a click as the fan opened. "Just a bit of foreplay, boys. Ichigo isn't going to be easy, he's still not healed from his ordeal with Aizen, no doubt the idea of intimacy is scary to him right now, even though his body is screaming for it from the hollow side. That was the genius of Aizen's plan, marking him, then putting him in the position of waiting untouched for so long, all the while the hollow's mating process was incomplete, screaming for attention, being wanted by someone, anyone."

Urahara walked over and flipped off the monitors. "Go back, and convince him that there is more to what you have done than simple control. He feels out of control. First Aizen, then the first thing from you two is two commands he had no choice but to comply with. Even if it was for his own safety, it still hurts him."

Grimmjow and Renji sighed. "Is there anything we can do to stop him hitting us?"

"I could use kido, but don't you think he's suffered enough being bound and forced against his will? Binding him with kido is only going to bring memories of that up, and he may retreat so far into himself that we'll never see the real Ichigo again."

Grimmjow and Renji looked at each other. "Time to man up," Renji said, straightening his back.

"You better show me what the fuck to do, ain't never done this with another man…" Grimmjow grumbled.

Urahara though was waiting at the door. Renji and Grimmjow exchanged looks. He handed Grimmjow a small bottle. "This might help."

He looked down, not really understanding what the hell he was holding. "Gimme that," Renji said grabbing it. "I'll show you."

Urahara practically skipped back into the room where the others were waiting. They looked at him expectantly. He grinned, not hiding behind his fan as he switched the monitors on again, seeing Renji and Grimmjow slowly entering, walking around Ichigo, who still lay face down on the floor. Rukia gasped.

"Urahara-sama!"

He smiled and a second later, Yourichi walked in with Ikkaku and Yumichika trailing behind her, having been downstairs working with Ukitake and the negotiations with the arrancar, former arrancar, vizard and shinigami. She frowned seeing everyone looking shocked at Urahara. She glanced at his face and the monitor showing the room with Ichigo and his two alphas.

"What is going on?" she asked, and then saw Rukia blush, and the mischevious look on Urahara's face. She gasped and ran to stand behind him, resting her chin on his shoulder. " You are bad, Kisuke."

He waved his fan at her. "You're as curious as I am, so be quiet."

And indeed they were as soon everyone's attention was on the events unfolding in the nearby room.

"Ichigo, come on, you can't stay mad forever…" Renji said, just out of range for those long limbs to reach.

"I can, and I will," he muttered into his arms crossed under his head.

"But we wanna make it up to ya," Grimmjow said, sneaking up behind him.

Ichigo hurmphed and didn't move as he got closer. He grinned at Renji then leaped onto his back. He let out a surprised yelp from the sudden weight on his back, but Grimmjow held on, pinning him under his body. He squirmed and muttered something about making him get off, but the Renji lunged and grabbed his face up in both hands, while Grimmjow pinned his hands down. Renji locked his eyes with those firey brown ones. Then he crushed his mouth against him, patiently waiting for him to grant him entry. Finally, Ichigo started to relax into the kiss, his lips parting ever so slightly, but when they did Renji was there, his tongue ravaging the young shinigami's mouth for all it was worth. Grimmjow let go of his hands, and they both went to Renji's head, gripping and pulling on that red hair. Grimmjow smiled to himself as he began kissing him on the back of his neck, feeling him shiver under him.

"Its okay, Ichigo, it's us, and we won't hurt you," Grimmjow whispered, running a hand down the mating mark on his neck. Something zinged within him and he realized his arousal was fully ready for the events that were beginning to happen. He ran his hands up and down the black shihakuso and then began to pull it down off his shoulders, slowly, revealing more and more of the tan flesh underneath. Inoue's healing had taken most of the newer scars, but there were some older ones that were still there, and he traced careful fingers along the marks, following his fingers with trails of soft, wet kisses.

Renji had moved from his mouth down to his neck and the hands were tightening in his hair the more he nipped and licked at him. Soft and tender, something he knew that Ichigo hadn't felt yet. He had to make this different, so different from the pain and humiliation he'd suffered. He had to prove how this could be good, and not something to leave him feeling used and dirty.

The rush through Ichigo's body was leaving him feeling light headed. He felt the back of his clothes falling, and for the first time it was welcomed as those kisses and nips followed down his back. He felt it fall the rest of the way when Renji pulled him to his knees and shoved it over. He looked up at him, his tribal god, he thought, blushing at the thought because in his dreams that was what he thought of him as. He reached up and pushed away Renji's black shihakuso, staring at the lines on his body, taking his fingers and tracing them for a second before he moaned as Grimmjow began attacking his neck from behind, tongue flicking over the overly sensitive flesh around the mating mark. As quickly the now shirtless Renji did the same to the other side of his neck and Ichigo couldn't imagine bliss like this.

Renji pulled him to stand, and Grimmjow stood behind him, this time Grimmjow tilting his head to the side and pulling him into a passionate kiss that way. He heard clothes rustling and realized that Renji had undone his obi and let his hakama fall. He reached around Ichigo's waist and held him there while Grimmjow leaned down and kissed him from behind, his tongue, like Renji's seeking every nook in his mouth. Then Renji's hands were busy behind him with the buttons on the jeans that Grimmjow wore. Grimmjow ground into his back and Ichigo gasped into his mouth as he felt the trapped hardness against his back.

Renji finally freed the zipper and pushed down the tight jeans over his hips, Grimmjow wiggling a little, but never moving his hands from Ichigo's chest, running his fingers over every line along him. He released the kiss and started laying more gentle kisses along his naked shoulders, making him melt into the man behind him. Now Renji began kissing his chest, taking a moment to suck each of his nipples into his mouth, making him gasp at the sensation. He was so wrapped up in the sensations flooding him, he didn't notice the obi being undone and his own hakama falling to his ankles.

"God, Renji," he muttered as Renji ran hands over his naked hips, sending shivers up and down his spine. Not to be outdone, Grimmjow began teasing the flesh at the base of his back and gently pinching and rolling it with his strong fingers. Then Renji dropped down to his knees in front of Ichigo, and Ichigo's eyes snapped down wondering why. Renji ran his hands gently, so slowly, up the inside of his thighs, not touching anything except the flesh of his thighs. He was shaking now, his legs unable to hold him. Grimmjow slowly lowered him down to the mat, kicking away the discarded pants and pulling him into his lap. Renji followed, his eyes locked with Ichigo's as he laid on his belly now, holding himself up with his hands and began to come closer, finally touching his straining member with the tip of his tongue. Ichigo's eyes couldn't get much wider, but then he took him into his mouth.

Ichigo thought he was going to explode from that touch alone. Grimmjow's hands were busy, too, running up and down his chest and the crease between his thigh and pelvis, then snaking underneath to play with his testicles, sending Ichigo into spasms almost.

"Fuck, Ichi, my god you are so fuckin' hot the sounds you are making," Grimmjow muttered into his ear, quietly nipping at it and licking around it. The man whimpered under him, never having experienced such pleasure. His back arched, Renji having took almost all of him into his mouth and he started to sputter.

"I'm…oh god, I'm…" Grimmjow shushed him and Renji increased his pace until Ichigo arched against Grimmjow, spilling his seed into Renji's waiting warm mouth. It was sweet, like strawberries, Renji thought, then resumed lapping at his body until he was up to his neck again.

"You enjoyed that, Ichi?" Renji purred into his ear. Ichigo was still in post orgasmic bliss, so Renji grinned. His own erection was growing painful from all the waiting. He pulled out the bottle Urahara gave him. It was unmarked and clear, he flicked the top and it smelled like strawberry lube, so he shrugged and coated his fingers with it as Ichigo leaned back against Grimmjow. Grimmjow was watching Renji fascinated.

He then moved in front of Ichigo and slid a finger into him slick with the lube. He straightened up, his eyes slightly fearful, until Grimmjow turned him and captured his mouth in a scorching kiss. Renji silently thanked him, and slid a second finger into him, gaining a gasp above him, but he didn't try to pull away. He worked for a moment, enjoying the feeling of the tight warmth around his fingers. Then he added the third and heard the whine above him swallowed by the kiss Grimmjow had him in. He worked his fingers deep enough until it brushed against his prostate getting the expected gasp of pleasure. He got the feeling during his time with Aizen that this had never been a part of his experience. He then leaned back, slicking himself up deftly and tossed the bottle to Grimmjow.

He caught it and cocked an eyebrow at him as if to ask, me too? Renji nodded, pumping himself a couple times to make sure he was slicked enough. Grimmjow pulled away from the kiss and Renji dove into one, pulling him toward him.

"Shh, Ichigo, relax, okay, we're going to do this all together, alright?" Renji whispered, and when Ichigo's eyes widened he petted his hair gently. "I've done this before, okay?"

Grimmjow had covered himself with the gel and felt a strange sensation. Not bad, just a tingling, but he shrugged and moved behind him, pushing himself into position as Renji pulled him forward. He carefully pressed against the lube slicked entrance and slid easily in, just past the head and waited, feeling him stiffen. He then continued, whispering words of encouragement as he went until he was fully seated into his tight space. He'd never experienced anything that felt this good, he thought to himself. He felt his body flex around him, and he almost lost it again, but Renji was pushing him back and Grimmjow pulled him against him, pulling him into his lap and pulling his legs apart before Renji.

"Fuck, Ichigo, look at you…" Renji said looking over the orange haired shinigami. His face was flushed so red it looked like it would start bleeding, and his breath was coming in panting gasps, his cock already hardening from having Grimmjow buried in him. Grimmjow was patiently waiting for Renji, but he could see the stain on the blue haired man as he wanted to buck into him.

Renji leaned forward, taking Ichigo in his hand, and pressing into the already full space, but with the amazing lube, it seemed easy to slid in beside the other man. Once he'd made his way all the way into the space, he paused, letting the orangette get used to them both filling him, and then they started to move, very slowly, finding a rhythm between them, one in and one out, back and forth. Ichigo was moaning with every motion, his eyes closed, one hand tangled in Renji's long red locks, and the other wrapped in the blue hair behind him.

"Oh, faster," he moaned, unable to contain himself. "Move, faster, oh please…"

Renji buried his face in his neck laying moist kisses there and complied, and soon he and Grimmjow's rhythm had reached a feverish pace, sending Ichigo off finally with a scream of intense pleasure. When he went everything tightened so much that both Renji and Grimmjow thrust in one more time and found themselves going at the same time. Moments later, they all fell to the ground, a panting heap of bodies. Ichigo lay between them, covered in sweat from head to toe it seemed, and he still had a hold in each of their hair. He pulled Renji down into a deep kiss, then Grimmjow next. Then he rolled his eyes slightly.

"Fuckin' ever command me again, I'll rip both your balls off and feed them to each other, got that?" he said, breathing heavily still.

Grimmjow and Renji locked eyes over the sweating, flushed body of their beta. _Their_ beta and nodded enthusiastically. There was no doubt that he would do just that.


End file.
